Sadie Solstice Was Almost Killed By her Ex-boyfriend

0:00 Hey listeners, before we start today's podcast I would like to give a trigger warning. Today's podcast will feature some strong language, disgusting of domestic violence, sexual assault and discussion of wounds from a nearly fatal attack. If this is too much for you to listen to today, I completely understand and I hope to see you all in the future.

0:50 Hey, everybody in serial killer country. My name is Brittany Ransom and this is When Killers Get Caught podcast of What is Deep Dives is the killers we love to learn about. And in season three we are going to talk one-on-one with people who've experienced crime or been deeply affected by the justice system in the United States. But don't fret. You will still get your deep dives into how killers grew up, how they killed, and how they got caught. But I guess today was just 18 years old when she became the victim of a horrendous crime that almost took her life. Her name is Sadie Solstice. She's a lifestyle brand owner and a model. And you might have seen her discuss this on TikTok, But today we're going to dig a little bit deeper. Hey there, Sadie. Hey, how are you? I'm good. How are you doing?

1:31 Awesome. So like I said, I I came across one of your videos. I'm not sure if it was a story time. It might have been a slightly shorter video and was just like, who's this? Right? And then I I continued talking to you and finally we managed to hook up so we could talk about what actually happened. Now I have actually listened to all of your story time videos about this, but I think I guess we should start for people who haven't had a chance to figure out or hear what you remember from the night of your attack. You said it was January. It was February, actually.

2:13 Oh, February. OK, see I'm off. Yeah, so it was, it was the night of February 5th and it actually that's when it began, but it was actually the morning early in the morning on February 6th when the attack really occurred. So it kind of took all night to get to that point. But yeah, so the 5th and the 6th of February. OK, So what starts us off the night before everything goes off? Actually, I'm gonna roll it back even further. Let's talk about you and your ex. Yeah, So the person that attacked me, his name is Marlon, and he was somebody that I knew since middle school.

2:54 We were, you know, good friends in in middle school. We had a brief middle school relationship where we dated for just a few months. And then after breaking up, we still remain friends for, you know, all of high school until I graduated in 2016. And that's when him and I began another romantic. Like relationship, you know, a more serious one, being that we were older at that point. He was a year older than me. And yeah, we we just started getting really close. We started dating and then he somehow convinced me that it was a a great idea for us to get pregnant and have a baby, even though we were teenagers, freshly out of school, living in the car most nights.

3:41 But he convinced me, so I got pregnant with his baby. OK, let's pause on that. Living in your car? What exactly do you mean by that? Yeah. So just at that point in my life, you know as a 18 year old that I felt free to do whatever I wanted and I was kind of moving back and forth between my my mom's house and my dad's house. They they got divorced when I was like 15 and they just kind of kept kicking me out because of. You know, whatever was going on with me. And so I would get kicked out of my mom's, go stay at my dad's, get kicked out of my dad's, go stay at my mom's. And then I got a car. So I just figured I'll just stay in my my car. And so that way I don't have to worry about being kicked out. And that was short lived for only a couple months until I got pregnant and I decided I should probably, you know, stay. My parents place, but yeah, most nights I was staying in the car, especially because Marlon also was living at home with his parents and that he had to like share a room with his younger brother.

4:40 So you know, it was just uncomfortable, there wasn't a lot of space for him. So he just preferred to stay in the car with me. Can't exactly feel like a grown up sleeping with your little brother or sister in the room. Right, Exactly. OK, so you did decide that once you two got pregnant, you were gonna kind of move back in with your your family. Who are you staying with this time? Mainly with my dad. OK, so the night of or the night before at the assault, you're at your dad's house? Right. So actually before we got to my dad's house, we we were staying in the car. So what had happened was a friend of ours, actually somebody that we were looking at, you know, even moving in with.

5:25 He had his family and they were. They, you know, they had his wife and kids had taken the car and they were in the mountains and he was staying in this hotel because we're all about to, you know try to find a place together. And he needed almond milk for his cereal. So we go to to bring him some and this person was somebody that supplied us with, you know with drugs basically with mainly acid and. And yeah, and so we go to visit him. And I always joke about this because that night when we were eating cereal with him, Marlon poured the milk into the bowl before the cereal. And like, that should have been my red flag, because who does that? Yeah, I've heard people say like that's that's serial killer behavior.

6:10 Exactly. I should have seen it as a red flag, but so that that friend of ours before we left. He gave Marlon drugs. He gave him acid, which Marlon asked for it. He said, you know, asked if he had any. And he said, yeah, put out your hands. And he had, I don't know if you know, those, like breath mints, the, like, liquid breath mint droppers. Yeah. So the the acid was in there and he, you know, put it into his hand and Marlon licked his hand and. Yeah, and. And so we don't really have any way of knowing exactly how many bits of acid, right? Because I usually have heard of it as tabs, the little tiny squares that I guess they put the liquid on.

6:52 But I've never heard of you taking the liquid directly. Right, exactly. And so, yeah, so you know, it's measured out when you're putting it onto the paper. So you kind of have an idea of how much it is you're taking, but not with this. So that's something I've kind of just always thought about was, you know, how much really was in that that little vial, that little mint dropper. And from what I understand, acid runs through your system so quickly. If they don't, I mean if they wouldn't have given him a drug test like the night of the assault, there's no guarantee they would have even known. Right. Yeah, you can't, really. You can't test for it like in your urine. I think you have to do it in blood.

7:33 Yeah, it has to. And it has to be like, within like 24 or 48 hours. It's pretty fast, right? So, huh, Well, I guess that adds another layer to this of well, we'll talk about your feelings about the whole idea of, you know, oh, well, he was high, cuz I don't think that really cuts it in the long run, but. Right. I agree. Yeah. So after that we I drove him back to his parents house and I wanted to go home. I wanted to go to my dad's house and get sleep because I was pregnant. It was late at night. I was exhausted. Yeah. And so he, you know, I I drop him off and or we pull up to his parents house and a lot of times when we slept in the car it was usually right outside his parents house and so he yeah. So I drop him off there and he's like, oh you're he's like you're just dropping me off.

8:21 He's like you're not gonna stay the night with me. He's like I don't want a trip by myself. And so I was like, OK, well, yeah, I guess I understand not wanting to like. Trip by yourself. I was like, but I'm really tired. So I just laid the seat back in the car and we were just laying there listening to music and and and other audios. And I, you know, drifted off into sleep. And at one point I woke up and I was so thirsty and I knew that we didn't have any water in the car. I knew that, you know, all the gas stations nearby were closed. And he I was asking him like if he was starting to feel. You know, like he was tripping. But you do build the tolerance to acid. See, I didn't know that.

9:03 I've always heard people talk about it as, you know, the one drug you can't get addicted to because. Right, not entirely true. Right. Well, and it's, it's true and it's not true because you can become addicted to anything, you know. I'm sure you've seen the shows like My Strange Addiction. Those are. Habitual addictions. And so it's a little bit different than like a chemical addiction where you know, your your body physically craves a certain chemical, right. So yeah, So I think that he was addicted to the the habit of taking acid. But it also, yeah, you you do build a tolerance to it. Like if you take, you know, acid twice within a week, the second time you're probably not going to feel it.

9:45 Yeah, especially if you take the same dosage. That's what one of my friends told me. You can't even. She couldn't even do it back-to-back. Like if she would did it Wednesday, she would need to wait until at least Saturday. Yes, exactly. Because you just build a tolerance to it so quickly and you would have to just really up your dosage and so. You know, Marlin was somebody that was taking acid pretty regularly. And so I, you know, he had started to build a tolerance to it. And so that's kind of what I thought was happening. I thought, you know, because he said he wasn't really feeling much, he wasn't really starting to trip yet. And I was like, OK, well, yeah, maybe you just, you took it too soon since the last time. You know, you've probably just built your tolerance.

10:26 And I was so thirsty and I just wanted to get water. But. So this is something kind of strange that people who didn't know him may not understand, but Marlin was very, very against drinking tap water. He was very particular about the water that he drank. It had to be purified. It had to be a certain pH level. And because I was pregnant with his child, he felt that he wanted me to only drink. You know, the same like purified, you know, water that had. You know, this pH balance or was alkaline or OK things of that nature. So it's something very particular that like other people may not understand as this being a weird thing for him. But I thought it was very strange that when I suggested, hey, let's just go to the Denny's down the street that we would frequent a lot, you know, they're open 24 hours.

11:14 This is around 4:00 in the morning. I was like, let's just go to the Denny's and get water there, which Denny's obviously serves tap water. And he was like, yeah, that sounds like a great idea. And I I made like a mental note at the time thinking this is weird of him to be like, this is a good idea instead of trying to drive all over Denver trying to find a gas station that's open to get bottled water. I and I I made that note in my head of the reason he's allowing this is because maybe it's because he's high. And so that was like the first weird clue to me. So we we go to the Denny's and again, he's having weird behavior. He drinks 2 glasses of tap water himself, which again doesn't sound weird to other people, but for him it was very strange and he ended up actually coming into the women's bathroom.

12:01 With me, I went to go use the bathroom. And when I come out to wash my hands, he's in the bathroom. And he's like, hey, you know, telling me something. And I was like, hey, like, what are you doing in here? This is the woman's bathroom. And he's like, oh, it doesn't really matter if I'm in here. And I I kind of agreed with him because, again, it's four or five in the morning. There's nobody in there. And I was like, I guess you're right. I guess it doesn't really matter which bathroom you go into. But again, it's just something that he normally probably wouldn't have done. And so this is when we go back, you know, I'm thinking. I really want some rest. I want to go to my my dad's house and go lay in my own bed. But Marlon was not allowed in my dad's house. My dad did not like him and so I was waiting basically until, you know, I knew that my dad would have left for work before I brought Marlon there.

12:48 And so we just go and we lay in the car some more in front of his parents house and I've drift back off into sleep and I wake up to him grabbing my my thigh. And his hand is freezing hold because he had been running around outside and he's breathing heavy. Oh, OK, so this is our first look into the fact that he's probably getting up there right now. Right. And so he starts asking me. He scares me when he when he when he grabbed me like that. And he starts telling me we need to hide. And he's out of breath. I can tell. He's been running around.

13:28 He's cold. You know, he, he'd been running around outside doing, I don't know what. And he's like, we need to hide. And I'm like, what do you mean, what do we need to hide from? And he was like, well, I don't know, But you're God, right? And yeah. So I was like, no, no, I'm I'm not God. And I I'm like, I'm a person just like you remember. And I'm trying to get him to, like, remember things. Right. And I open up the the sunroof in the car and I I, you know, tell him like, look around, look out the windows. There's nothing there. We don't need to hide from anything. It's OK anyway, because at this point you're kind of a seasoned person. I don't know what you call it, not a trip guy, but you've been here with him when he's been high, so you know it. Right, exactly.

14:13 And so yeah, so and I I just thought because. And because I before I got pregnant, I would often trip with him. And so you know, I, we just kind of had this, you know, philosophy that if things are not right in your body, if you're tired, if you're hungry, whatever it may be, if you're not in a good mood and you take acid, it's just gonna make you feel those feelings more intensely. So I just figured he must be very exhausted, He must be tired. And that's why he's having this weird reaction to the acid and so. I told him for other people listening, it's also a really long high from what I understand, like potentially like 8 or more hours.

14:56 So if you're having a bad time, that sounds awful to me. Oh yeah, yeah, you. And it can. Depending on how much you take, it can last, you know, days even, especially if you're very sensitive to substances. OK, yeah, that doesn't sound like a good time to me. We're having a bad trip and it lasts forever. Right. Yeah. And you just you you don't know when it's gonna end. OK, so he's talking to you about you being an otherworldly being. Right. So he I just figured he needed to sleep. So I I tell him, OK, let's let's go to my dad's. We'll we'll go to sleep and you'll feel better. And so on the drive to my dad's house, he was acting very strange and like singing very off key very loudly. Just uncharacteristically to a song in the radio and just acting very strange.

15:49 And I'm like, I was laughing at him, but I was also starting to get a little bit concerned. And so we get to my dad's house and I take him up to my room and I get him undressed. I get myself undressed. So we're just in our underwear. And I put him in the bed, and he keeps asking me questions like, Are you God? How many times have we done this before? Is it water? And that's what he kept asking me. Is it water? Is it water? And I'm not really listening to him because I'm exhausted. He is honestly just bothering me. He's annoying me. I just want to go to sleep and I'm, you know, trying to tell him nicely, like, hey, like, let's not talk anymore, let's just go to sleep.

16:31 But he just keeps asking me questions, you know, thinking out loud basically, and asking me over and over. Is it water? And then this is really where the attack begins because, and this isn't something that I've shared in too much detail and I don't have a problem sharing it, but he asked me is it anal? And I was like, what do you mean? And I kind of laughed it off and I was like, is he just playing a prank on me? Like is he trying to just get me to do anal with him and this is like his weird way of trying to? Make that happen. And I I asked him that and he was very confused And so I was like, OK, so this is like not like a weird prank, but that's when he gets on top of me and he's like, OK, I know what I have to do. I have to fuck you.

17:28 And I was like, no, no, no, I am not in the mood for this right now. And that's when he just, you know, even though I'm telling him no, he proceeds to. Basically, sexually, sexually assault me. And then I was able to kick him off and I went into my dad's bedroom, into his bathroom and I locked the door. And this is when he comes up and he's banging on the door, jiggling the handle, trying to get in. And I'm yelling at him like, dude, I'm not in the mood. Just leave me alone and I hear him walk away. But then I hear all of this sound downstairs and I'm like, cuz my dog is home and I'm like a little bit concerned like okay, I don't know what's going on.

18:20 Like I should go check out and see what he's doing. So I go downstairs and I can't find him and he's he's in the garage in my dad's tools. And he had grabbed a hammer out of my dad's tools. So I try and break into the bathroom. I think that's exactly what his intention was, was he was going to use the hammer to try to break down the door, take the handle off or whatever. And so I immediately I see that and I get scared and I kind of wrestle with him a little bit and I kind of just grabbed the hammer out of his hands and I. I told him, dude, you're starting to scare me. You know, I'm going to, like, mess you up if you, if you don't stop.

19:01 And so he then kind of just runs upstairs. I go put the hammer away and close the garage door. And I remember walking by my dog and and telling her I might need you. And I walk upstairs and Marlon is now in my bathroom and he's splashing in the sink. Remember, he had been asking, is it water, not water, right. So he's splashing in the sink. And I opened the door. The door is like slightly open. And I opened the door all the way. And I step into the bathroom and I say, hey Merlin, like, what is going on? And that's when he punches me in the face. Oh, crap, OK. Yeah, So he punches me and I fall back. And this is where my recollection becomes a little bit foggy because I I remember, You know what? What happened after this?

19:53 In like a chronological sense. But there is a piece missing. A piece that I remember, but I don't remember when it happened. But when I after I had gotten to the hospital after all of this, this is all I remembered was this one flash of him hitting me. I hit him back, he hits me back harder and I decided not to hit him back anymore because he's hitting me back harder. So I don't remember when that happened, but when I got to the hospital, that was all I remembered. And then once I woke up from surgery, the rest of the memories had come back to me. Except for I don't remember that when that little bit when that flash happened. Sometime between coming back upstairs and the final attack, there was a moment where you did try and fight him back, right? Yes.

20:39 I just, I don't remember exactly at what point that was. But what I do remember is going into the guest room, which is right next door to the bathroom. So after he he had hit me and I fell back, I I immediately thought okay, I need help, but I don't want to call the cops on him because I don't want him to get in trouble. And so I went to the guest room, which didn't have a lock on the door and I was just kind of leaned up against the door and I thought, okay, I'm gonna, I'm gonna call some friends to come and and help me just leave, you know. And I was trying to think of because I, we had a group of friends, a group of mutual friends that we spent a lot of time with and majority of them were boys. And I was trying to think who of my friends has a car because like one of my best friends, he, his car was broken down. And so I was just trying to think of like, who has a car. And I I remembered a friend of mine and I was like, OK, he has a car.

21:33 I'm gonna call him. I called him. He doesn't answer. So I sent him a message and I just say, hey, I'm at my dad's house. Marlon is beating me. Please come help me. And before I'm able to get a message back or anything like that, Marlon bursts through the guest room door because again, it doesn't have a lock and I was just leaned up against it. Yeah, so he's able to push through. I'm sure you weren't a very heavy person, no. Yeah. No. I was 18, so I was, I was very small and only three months pregnant at the time even. I had even lost weight in my first trimester of pregnancy because of my morning sickness. So yeah, so I was very small, like I'm like 5-1 and I think at that time I was probably like less than £110.00.

22:16 So I was very small and I. Just pulled you over exactly. So he gets in the room and he basically picks me up and throws me down onto the bed and he tells me pain isn't even real. And he bites my lip, my bottom lip. He bites it so hard he's and he's just continuing to bite it hard, just clamp down. And this is when I start screaming because I'm hoping that he'll stop or I'm hoping my dog will will come up or I'm hoping my neighbors will hear me and I'm looking around to see if the windows are open, hoping my neighbors will hear me. And he's just biting me. And then he stops biting me and he begins to sexually assault me again. And and I believe he was also just, like, hitting me and beating me as well.

23:07 And this is when. So this is, you know, in the morning time, you know, And my phone alarm starts going off because I had an alarm set for like every day. I want to say it like 8:00 in the morning. And so my phone alarm is going off and it's freaking him out. He's like, what is that? What is that? Make it stop. And I'm my phone's in the corner. And so I I tell him, oh, it's just my phone. Let me get it. If you let me up, I can get it. I can turn it off. So he he gets up off me and I grab the phone and I turn off the alarm. And that's when he asks me again. Is it water? And I say, yes, it's water. It is. And I'm gonna go get you some water. So you stay here and I'll go get you some water.

23:47 And I rundown the stairs. But he's following behind me. And I I see my dog and she's standing there kind of looking at me, concerned. And I I sick my dog on Marlon. Oh, This is why I called Trixie your hero. Yes. Yes, she she really is. So yeah, my dog Trixie. I tell her Trixie get him, Trixie get him and she starts jumping on him and I open. I open the garage door. I go into the garage, I open the the car door for the garage and I start to get in my car when I realize I don't have the keys because it was a push to start. So a lot of times I would just leave my keys in the car cuz it wouldn't lock so I wouldn't be locked out of the car, but I would just leave them in there because I had the the clothes garage. But I realized the keys aren't in there they're in my jacket and I have to go back inside and get my jacket. So as I go back in to get my jacket with the the keys in the pocket and again at this point I'm I'm only in my my bra and my panties and I I grab my jacket I start to put it on and my dog is jumping on Marlon but he goes Oh yeah, I like dogs. Like, he was remembering that he likes dogs and he starts like petting her and kind of playing with her and you know, she, she knows Marlon, right?

25:01 You know, so she she's like just like, OK, like it's just Marlon, it's OK, you know? And so I start to go back to get into the car. But he's right behind me now, and he, you know, opens up the passenger side door to get into the car. And I'm like, no, no, no. Like, you stay here, remember? I'm gonna go get you some water, do you remember? And I'm trying to get him to stay. And he actually begins, he starts peeing into my car. Oh. Geez, into the passenger side door. He's peeing into it and he's just laughing and he, like, starts running around the car trying to pee on me.

25:44 So I, like, run away from the car and I start running into the driveway and I'm just yelling like, what the fuck is going on with you? Like I was, I was like, so shocked by this. So question here, in the space of all this, do you feel like you were scared at all? Yeah, definitely. Yeah, I was just, I was scared and I just wanted to get away from him. And I just didn't really know what to do because again, I'm still at a point of, like, not wanting him to get in trouble, which was stupid, you know? And so I I just really didn't know what to do. So I I run into the the driveway and I see my neighbor, she's she's like sitting in her car in the Culdesac. So my dad lived in a Culdesac and she's like sitting kind of on the other side of it.

26:29 And I waved to her and then she sees me and she's like, what's going on? And I don't really want to like yell like help or anything like that because I I don't want to alarm Marlon. Like I'm at a point of like not really knowing how to handle this situation. So I'm like I don't want to like you know, be like help help and and alarm him, you know, and set him off more. So I just kind of like mouths to her like help. And she she goes, she like mouths to me that she's gonna call 911 and she gets in the car and she starts calling 911. And I don't think that she saw this happen. But what happened was he picked me up and he brought me back. Into the house, yeah. Yeah, it's such an interesting thing in hindsight. I I remember as a kid, I don't know if you learned this when you were younger, but I remember being told you never want to make an attacker angry.

27:21 And I always wonder, in hindsight, is that good advice to give somebody in the middle of going through something like this, right? Yes. My mom always taught me, you know, somebody tries to to take you or anything like that. She's like, you kick, you scream, you bite, you yell. Right. So you don't do any go along with it, right. Exactly. And so you know, it probably would have been better for me to take that advice at the time. But and after he pulled me back in, you know, I was, I was kicking and I was, you know, screaming and trying to get him off of me. But again, I was a small person and so I couldn't really get away from him. And so we get back. He pulls me back into the house and he tells me, oh, I know what I need to do.

28:05 I need to kill you. Oh geez. And so he starts. He has me like, on the ground, like I'm laying on the ground, face up, and he's standing, kneeling over me, choking. So he starts strangling me and I start, like, trying to fight him back. I'm like hitting him in the nuts, but I can't quite reach. So I'm like trying to hit him and but then again I remembered, you know, when I was hitting him earlier, it was making him mad. So I'm like I'm, you know, just fighting him off to try to get him off me. But I'm also not trying to make the situation any worse. Right. And so I also, I just kind of, you know, let it happen. And I just, you know, I I just passed out. I I lost consciousness. And I think a lot of people don't realize, like when when you're being choked out and when you lose consciousness, that's, you know, that's not death, you know, that's just you've lost oxygen to the point where you've lost consciousness. But in order for somebody to really kill you through strangulation, they have to continue. They just follow through for it and nobody. I just covered a case on TikTok where I talked about that it was a grown man who tried to choke a little girl and gave up because people don't realize.

29:19 It actually takes a lot of force. It does, yes. You choke someone to death, so usually they give up and go do something else. And that's the same thing that happened here, right? Exactly. So this is where I lose, like, my memory. I know what happened and I have like maybe like flashes here and there of memory but I did. I was so I lost consciousness. And then at one point I I do remember I regained consciousness and I was crying and he was like on top of me and I don't remember exactly like what was happening but I would basically ended up happening was he had grabbed a large kitchen knife out of like the butcher block in my kitchen and began stabbing me.

30:08 So I was conscious and I was fighting him off, and I have defensive wounds on my hand from pushing the knife away, but I don't have any memory of actually being stabbed. Oh, that's good. It is, yeah, because it's pretty painful. So at this point, our our hero Trixie kind of stepped in? Yes, exactly. So because I had left the garage doors open, she had run out and sat on my neighbor's porch. This is what our neighbor told us afterwards that he sees because he, they had one of those front doors that was like, like foggy glass. So, like, you could kind of see things outside of the door.

30:51 And she's pawing at the door and barking. And he's like, I think that's Trixie. And he opens the door and he's like Trixie, like, what are you doing here? And she runs to like the end of of his driveway and sits there and turns to look to see if he's coming. And then she ran back to the house and he followed her over there because he saw our garage door open and wanted to make sure that, you know, Trixie got back into the house OK and everything. And when he gets to the door, he opens it and he sees Marlon on top of me, stabbing me. Oh God. And so this distracted Marlon. Marlon sees him come in and he gets up and he begins to run towards my neighbor with the knife in hand. And my neighbor shut, like, slams the garage door into his face.

31:37 And he begins to, like walk away. And then he's like, he realizes, no, I have to, I have to go back in. I have to make sure Sadie's OK. But what had happened is once Marlon had gotten off me and started running towards my neighbor, I had an adrenaline rush and I got up and I ran out the back door. So I was able to run out of the house and I ran and I again, this isn't something I remember, but something my neighbors told me. I saw my my neighbor who had initially called 911. She sees me run out and she tells me go run to our neighbor Judy's house, just like go to Judy's house. So Judy's there waiting for me, takes me inside, and that's the next thing I remember is laying on Judy's couch and just being in so much pain.

32:18 And I don't think I realized what had really happened. What? I mean, you wouldn't have a frame of reference for something like this, so I got it right. So a good majority of my stab wounds were on my back. And so I I just remembered, you know, Judy's asking me, like, where does it hurt? What's going on? And I'm just like, my back hurts. And to me, it felt like I had been, like, punched. And so people ask sometimes, you know, they want to know like, how did it feel when you got stabbed? And even though I don't have much memory of the actual act, I would say it's not a sharp pain. I mean, and also I was being stabbed at the kitchen neck. That was quite dull. So it was more of a dull pain, like you're being punched, not not the feeling of being stabbed that you would think.

33:03 Okay. And so the next time you wake up, because at this point we're looking at blood loss now, right. And so you, I mean you were a pretty small 18 year old girl at the time. So you pass out and you wake up in the hospital, right? So actually I yeah, I'm, I'm on Judy's couch. And I actually remember telling her I just want to get in the bath because I don't think I realized again. Like, I I don't really know what's happened. I'm just in pain and I want to be in the bath and the warm water to soothe me. And she's like, I don't know if that's a good idea, but she takes me to the bath and I run the water and I'm like, I just want to be in the bath, which is terrible if you, if you have a open bleeding wound, do not get into water because you were going to lose more blood that way. And I didn't.

33:47 I didn't know that. I again, I don't think I even realized what had happened. And I I'm in the bath and Judy's on the phone with 911 because my neighbors had called 911 already. But they were trying to. I don't know. I don't know what exactly happened. Where we're waiting for the the first call is. Probably, oh, this is domestic disturbance. A couple doors down. They're like, oh, we'll send somebody out. The second call is this guy. I saw this guy stabbing this girl. Now here's a question. You're in Judy's house. Where is Marlon? So that's a great question. So Marlon is still in my dad's house. And what happened was when my neighbor went back in to make sure I was OK, Marlin again was trying to attack him. And my neighbor is he's like a very large man, you know, he's like 6-4.

34:33 And Marlin was, you know, Marlins only 5-10 hundred and 30 pounds like a smaller guy. And so my neighbor was able to basically pin him against the wall. He banged Marlins hand up against the wall until he dropped the knife. And then my other neighbor who was a retired Marine, actually, you know, came because everyone in the neighborhood is like something is going on over at that house. And so my my other neighbor who like I had babysat his kids and stuff like we we had a, you know, pretty tight knit community in that neighborhood. But they they came in to see what was going on. And so my my two neighbors both held Marlon down, waiting for the police to get there. Wow, that's just good that you had them. Yeah, absolutely.

35:18 He probably would have chased you to the next neighbor's house and tried to attack both of you. Right. And so, yeah. So I'm so grateful for them. Like, have they not come in like that? You know, because the the only reason I'm alive today has nothing to do with Marlon. It has nothing to do with him showing me mercy, you know, has nothing to do with him, you know, deciding in the moment. Wait, What I'm doing is wrong. And I need to get her help. He he never would have stopped, you know? So it's no thanks to him that I'm alive. It's all thanks to my dog, Trixie and my neighbors. Their names are Tim and John and they came and rescued me, yeah. Big ups to Tim and John because sounds awful. Yeah.

35:58 And. And I know that it definitely deeply affected them. You know for. Yeah. Well I just thought Tim the other day my dad still lives in that house and Tim still lives right next door and he got to see my. I brought my son over and so yeah. He got to see him and yeah. So we still, we still see each other every now and then when I go, you know, visit my dad. But yeah, definitely deeply affected them because I couldn't even imagine, like I don't even have, you know, memory of what happened. But for them, they do. Oh, yeah, that's it's intense and a little bit scary. Yeah, absolutely. And So what ended up happening was, yeah, I get to the hospital, they, I mean, a lot of pain. They gave me medicine and the ambulance, but I I get to the hospital and they need to put me in for an MRI. So I have, like, a vague memory of being in the MRI machine. And then they tell me that they need to go in and do surgery because my lung is collapsed.

36:57 Wow. So yeah, he stabbed me twice in my abdomen on the front, and one of those stabs hit my lung, punctured it, and it collapsed. And so they needed to do that. And then they also saw like, like air in like, my abdomen. And they needed to make sure that, you know, nothing else was, you know, at risk. And so they had to do what they call explorative surgery where they just kind of open you up and they just go in to just take a look and make sure everything was OK. So they did. They'd put me under for surgery and I remember being so excited that they were going to put me under anesthesia because I was so excited to not be in pain anymore. Yeah, But I mean, you're still pregnant now, So there's also worry there, right? Which I I did make sure to tell everyone that I was pregnant and my parents knew by this point as well. And so I was just, yeah.

37:44 But I was so excited. I was like, I I can't wait to be put under for surgery so I don't have to be in this pain anymore. And so, yeah, so in total, he stabbed me. About 13 * 17 if you count the defensive wounds on my hand. My mom counts them. I don't count them. Those are defensive wounds to me. But yeah, you. Still got stabbed in the hand, right? Yeah, yeah, that's true. But, but yeah, so. You said you have limited function in that hand now. Yes I do. So he cut the tendons and nerves in my two of my fingers, my middle finger and my ring finger on my right hand, which is my dominant hand. And it was that was the like longest standing injury that I received from that, which is lucky you know that that's the only thing because.

38:33 Now you're, what, 25? So yes. Yeah. And so, yeah. So like, even, you know, my lung being punctured has, like, not affected my life. You know, they put a tube in my lung. I was in the hospital for three days to monitor my lung and make sure that it reinflated properly and everything was fine. And yeah, and so I healed well. But other than that, yeah, my hands I had to get. So what they did was they stitched up my my wounds on my hand. But they didn't fix anything because your hand is very elaborate. And so they have to have specialists who specialize in hand surgery go in. So I had to schedule my surgery for, I want to say maybe two weeks or something. Oh, geez. After that.

39:14 So I had to go into a specialist and get my hand fixed. They had to go. So now the scars that I have on my hands, on my fingers are not even from the stab wounds, the scars that I have from the surgery, because they had to go in and find my tendons and nerves that had been severed because they roll, you know, when you cut them, they roll. So they had to go find them and then reattach them. And I did regain feeling in my fingers. So I do have feeling it's maybe a little bit more fuzzy compared to my other fingers, but for the most part I have feeling. But I and I have, you know, motion, but I don't have strength, so I'm not able to bend my fingers all the way down. It does cause me some pain when doing certain things, like doing dishes, you know, and using a sponge to to do dishes. It causes me some pain.

39:57 But other than that, like that is my only real, like longstanding injury from that. So the other stab wounds that I sustained were three in my leg, two in my arm, one in my neck, and then. The rest were and then the two that were on the front of my abdomen, the one that punctured my lung, and then the rest are on my back. OK, yeah, I saw on TikTok the you have a tattoo of a knife right near the one stab wound on your leg. Yeah. My best friend is a tattoo artist and she drew some knives and posted them up on on Facebook. Like, does anybody want to get, you know, a nice tattoo? I just want to practice. And I was like, yeah, do you want to do it on my my stab wounds? And she told me, oh, you won't do it. And I was like, bet I will do it. And so I showed up and she did the the tongue and cheeks. Yeah, it's it's I kind of have an affinity for a knives now and I always compare it to the way Christians carry a cross for Jesus.

40:57 It's like, well, you know, I didn't, I didn't die. But you know I have another knife tattoo on my face. I You know my I. Can't notice that one. I'm gonna have to go look at your picture again. Yeah, it's like, right, It's on the side. It's like on my sideburn. So it's it's very like hidden. OK. All right. So OK, we have surgery, you're you're in hospital for a couple days. Where's Marlon and all of this? So they brought Marlon to the same hospital because he had stabbed himself in the leg. Yeah. He begun stabbing himself and he stabbed himself in the leg. And so they needed to take him. And they also needed to take him for like blood testing for drugs.

41:38 And so he they took it in. And my sister was at my mom's house. So this is part of like, just to, you know, side note, part of the miracle that allowed me to be alive today is that my dog was at my dad's house even though my sister was at my mom's house. And my sister always wherever she was, that's where the dog was. But for whatever. Reason the one time, the one time that she leaves the dog at my dad's house. You needed her. I needed her to be there. And so, you know, that's just part of that, like, miracle of everything coming together to, you know, allow me to survive this moment. And so my sister is at my my mom's house and my mom's husband wakes her up and it's like, hey, I need to drive you to the hospital. Sadie got hurt.

42:22 And, you know, he takes her and meet, you know, she meets my mom there. So my mom and my sister are walking through the hospital back to my room and they hear something that they all they my sister says she almost thought it was like a machine because of the way that like high pitched way it sounded, but it was actually Marlon screaming. Oh my goodness. So he was screaming so high pitched, so loud that yeah, like my sister, they were like, what is that? And then they realized it was him. So he's just screaming at the top of his lungs. And yeah, so they, they had to, you know, stitch him up, do blood work. And then they took him to the police, arrested him and took him to the hospital. Or took him to the jail, not the hospital. I gotcha.

43:09 OK. And you talked to them about the night? Yeah. So the detective actually questioned me in the emergency room. Just asking me, you know. So actually, when I was being loaded into the ambulance, my dad, my, my neighbors had called my dad and he had rushed home from work. And that's the first time my dad saw me was I'm being loaded into the ambulance. And my dad asks me, he's like, Sadie, who did this to you? And I told him, it's Marlon, It's Marlon. And my dad actually tried to get into the ambulance, that Marlon was being loaded into the paramedics, the paramedics and the cops had to hold him back. That's right. Yeah. So my, you know, my dad was about to take matters into. Understand.

43:49 I understand Dad in the moment, absolutely. And so. He's like, I never liked this guy anyway. And This is why, right? He's like, I knew the whole time this guy was bad news. And so, yeah, he was about to take matters into his own hands, but he was, he was stopped. And and so, you know, in the emergency room, I told the detective like, it was Marlon. Marlon did it. And he had taken like a picture from Marlon's, his ID, and showed it to me, you know, they scanned it, whatever. He showed it to me. And he said, is this Marlin? And I said, yeah, that's him. And and then I told him that story of we got into a fight in the hallway. I hit him or he hit me.

44:30 I hit him back. He hit me back harder. So I stopped hitting him. And that's what I told the detective at the time because I'd forgotten what had happened. And that's the only memory I had. And now looking back, I don't have that memory anymore. And so, yeah, so they didn't really know what had happened. And until I I came to and I started, you know, kind of telling my family and my neighbors, who all rescued me, and they all came to see me in the hospital and they were telling me their sides of, like, what was going on. And I told them, you know what? I, because I woke up and I remembered everything. And so my family was like, that's not what you told the detective. And I was like, what did I tell the the detective I remember. What I was thinking of at that time, right.

45:11 And so, and so then I did end up having a meeting with like the district attorneys because in the state of Colorado with domestic violence cases, the state always takes over because what happened too often is, you know, men would beat their wives. The wives would not report it, they would not press charges. Even if it did get reported or the cops got called, they wouldn't press charges. And then those men would end up killing their wives. And so now in the state of Colorado, any domestic violence case, the state takes over and presses charges. So I wasn't even the one to press charges against him. It was the district attorneys. Right and so. The things that I got into arguments with people about last year in regards to the situation with, you know, Mega Stallion getting shot by her then boyfriend that I was like, she's not the one taking him to court. Y'all this is the state.

46:01 Yeah, out of her control at this point. It's not her fault. I mean, also, to be fair, she's the one who got shot. Why are we mad at her? Well, and it happens often. And I had a lot of people giving me grief after this happened. And so after this happened in the hospital, I remember they have separate workers who they're not, you know, necessarily like nurses or doctors, but they what their job in the hospital is to just wheel patients from room to room. OK. And I remember the, the guy who was Wheeling me, you know, was like, oh, no, like, what happened? Ask it because I looked terrible. Yeah, I saw one of. Those pictures you posted on TikTok, Yeah, my face was completely swollen, my lips were completely swollen. I had black eyes and you know, my blood vessel had burst in one of my eyes and and then obviously I had stitches and staples all over me.

46:58 My hands were bandaged, bandaged up because again, they didn't want to go in and do anything yet until I was able to see a hand specialist. So they just bandaged me up so I wouldn't move my fingers too much. So I looked terrible and I remember the guy asking me, you know, what happened? I was like, oh, my boyfriend tried to kill me. And he goes, oh, I hope he's your ex-boyfriend now. And I go, yeah, he's he's going to be my ex-boyfriend now. But. And so in in the hospital for the three days I was there, I was like, that's my ex now, until I got out of the hospital and I started thinking, I don't want to have this baby alone. I'm a teenager. It wasn't his fault. I start making excuses for him. It wasn't his fault. He was on drugs. It was an accident, you know.

47:38 And so after that, I decided that I was going to stay with him and try to make it work, you know, And there's so much pressure, I think too, because because I was a teen parent and I wanted to prove society wrong. I'm not a statistic, you know, I'm not going to be a single mother just because I'm a teen parent. You know, I'm going to make this work and we're going to have a happy life and we're going to get married and, you know, and so I just kind of had this pressure that I felt to like, make the, especially because he was somebody who was not well liked by people in our age group. He had, you know, he had a lot of people who liked him and then a lot of people who didn't like him. And I wanted to prove the people who didn't like him wrong. You know, I made a good choice in dating him. I made a good choice of deciding to have a baby with him. So I just wanted to prove those decisions that I made, right. So I decided I was going to stay with him. And so that caused a lot of backlash for me where people were telling me, Sadie, you're being too positive about this, Sadie, you are, you know, you're delusional. I haven't had random people off of Facebook which I never found out who this was.

48:38 But one profile in particular with what was probably a fake picture and a fake name telling me that this was all my fault, that Marlin was in jail. If you know if if I, you know, loved him, I wouldn't be pressing charges and that's when I tried to explain it's not me pressing charges. It's the it's the state. And and even when, as far as to calling me names such as a cum dumpster, yeah, so like things like that. To the point where I had to deactivate my social media for probably a couple months because I couldn't stand to look at it. Wow. Yeah, that's. And you gotta wonder who is that person who hears my friend nearly killed a woman and goes.

49:20 Obviously he did nothing wrong and there's still people that feel that way. You know, all these years later, he still has supporters who think that he's done. You know, it was an accident, He was on drugs. He's done nothing wrong. Yeah, but you know what though? I'm not really a person who does a whole lot in regards to, like, drugs or things of that nature. I I grew up with attorney parents and I was a singer growing up. So in my head I was like, we're not gonna do anything to destroy my voice. And also nothing that's gonna make my mom or dad upset with me. Sure. I hung out with people who did things and I have been around people. On acid. And I can I have never in my life seen anyone even get violent on that drug, let alone go as far as Marlon went. So I don't know what was going on in his head that day. But that's not, that's not the norm. And and I agree.

50:16 And at the time, you know, like I said I was, I was making those same excuses for him and he had me very much under his thumb. You know, it was in that relationship. It was what Marlon wants we do, you know, like I just felt very and you know what I I felt low self esteem at the time and I felt like he was better than me. And I think that's where it came from. Now this. This didn't seem like it was an abusive relationship before that night. Not physically, ever, no. OK. But you do feel like there were, there were some things that he was doing that? Were abusive in terms of emotional abuse before them, yes. So not really too much like verbal abuse. Like he never really yelled at me. He did call me names, but it was a lot of like emotional abuse, emotional manipulation.

51:08 He was very skilled at it. He was very skilled. He even he had a lot of people fooled and still does. But he, you know, he was very skilled. I always, you know, referred to him as the masterful manipulator and he just really, you know, had me, like I said, under his thumb. And it was. It was impressive, honestly, the way that he was able to just kind of control me. So this is now in the hands of the court and they are going to prosecute. It goes to court. And he said Marlon got 13 years, but it was weird. He didn't exactly get charged with what he did, right? So the way these cases work is they offer a plea deal which basically says if you just, you know, you know, plead guilty, we're going to give you this sentence instead of, you know, risking going to trial getting found guilty, right. Exactly.

52:03 And he actually had two attempted murder charges, one for me and one for my neighbor that he tried to attack as well. So the charges that he were arrested on were two attempted murder charges, menacing a deadly weapon, three different assault charges, one for strangulation and attempted sexual assault, 2 attempted sexual assault charges, obstruction of telephone service. Because when I had called my friends for help, he had thrown my phone to the floor and the last one was kidnapping because after I tried to leave the house, he pulled me back in and that's kidnapping. And so those were the charges he was originally arrested on, which would have, you know, had he been found guilty of those charges, he would have gotten a sentence of he was looking at probably 30 years.

52:50 But they offered him a plea deal. He originally, he wanted to go to trial. He wanted to to be found not guilty. He wanted to get off. You know, he he wanted to go to trial and just explain, hey, I was on drugs. It was an accident. And we even got like he, I went and found people that were in our friend groups and mentors of our teachers and things like that and asked them to write character references for him. Yeah, so it was, it was bad and and like looking back it, it makes me worried about the things that I did to try to get him out of that situation, you know, begging with the district attorneys, you know, things like that. Like I really did not want him to go to jail. I wanted him to be a father to my my child and I. Think I mean, people who work in this field specifically with domestic violence, they also understand that. It's it's weird.

53:43 I I, in hindsight, I look back in my own situation and go I was in a relationship for a total of eight years. Half of that time I was positively miserable. Why did I never just stop? Right, Right. And the analogy that I've heard used is if you put a frog into boiling hot water, they jump right out. Right, if you put a frog into cold water and turn. The temperature up, Yes, they stay because they don't notice that they're being boiled alive. That's. Probably a perfectly accurate explanation and you get back at yourself. And you? You're like what? I I was an idiot. Why did I do this right? Yeah, exactly.

54:26 Yeah. I look back and I I well and I and I have empathy for my past self and I understand like what she was going through, you know, being a team parent, not wanting to parent by herself and and things like that. But it doesn't concern me for the future going forward because the plea deal that he ended up taking was it was a broad range of of of years that he would be sentenced. And basically they just had to take it to court to have the judge say how many years out of this range that both the public defender and district attorneys agreed to. So the range was, oh gosh, I don't even remember.

55:14 My goodness, yes, before this actually happened. It was like you told me it was three years to like 26 years or something like that. And so I was hoping that he was only gonna get because by the time this actually happened, he had been in jail for nearly two years. Because you know people will see it in the movies. Right. You know, and they see like victims on trial in the movies and they're still all bruised. But you know what happens that way? I think I'm going to blame it on law and order SVU because every single episode the trial gets handled and what you don't realize is that in between every time they go to court, it's months and months. I remember talking to the the people at 2020 about the Gabby Petito trial. And they were like, they didn't use this in the documentary, but I was just like, I think it's it's wonderful that so many people online care, but they are going to be hurt when they realize that this is not going to end the way they want, right?

55:57 It's not like the movies, and it didn't. It didn't. In that case, that guy killed himself so he could avoid, right? Which is? Consequences of his actions. Yeah, yeah. What absolute coward. So yeah, so I was like, but I was like this isn't going to end the way people want. They think it's going to be a oh, we we found him. We found her. Everything's going to go to trial. We'll all get justice and unfortunately all too often no justice happens or or it's it's limited justice. But you said he's eligible for parole next year. Yes. So he was sentenced to 13 years total. He's eligible for parole next year because those two years were time served. The two years that he was waiting for his sentence, his time served. Right.

56:40 And so, yeah, So next year in 2024, he's eligible for parole. And I, I 100% plan on attending all of his parole hearings. And just because he's eligible doesn't mean he's going to get in front of a parole board right away. It could be months before he gets in front of a parole board. But it doesn't matter when you show up, right? And so I'm going to show up and I'm going to to tell them he actually have filed for a pardon. I believe it was. Really. Yeah. From. And I got an e-mail from the victim services telling me and they asked me if I wanted to write a statement for this case and I wrote a long statement explaining what had happened and he was denied. Good.

57:23 Yeah, A minimum. He needs to stay in for his minimum amount of time. I wish it was actually longer because, I mean, it's not like he's going to if he's going, oh, I was just drunk. Or I was, oh, I was just high. Are you committed to never using drugs for the rest of your life, dude? Probably not. So you're going to just be high the next time you do something and hurt somebody. And and I just don't think that intentions matter because I think across the board, we all have good intentions. We all think we're doing the right thing. And I don't think that that matters. I think what matters is how you affect people, the outcome of your actions, your impact. Exactly. And so like I always compare it to Thanos from the Marvel Universe.

58:06 Thanos thinks he's doing the right thing. He thinks that he's helping by wiping out half of all life because it's going to be more resources for the ones left. He really thinks he's doing the right thing. Everyone thinks they're doing the right thing. Right. And so I mean my thing is when you say that because you I asked you during our preinterview what his side of the story was and you said he doesn't seem to have any idea like. He keeps telling people in prison different stories about what happened exactly. Right, So he doesn't know what happened. And I feel like in order for you to not be a danger to people, you need to know what happened, Sir, right. And and after he, you know, while we're going through this trial process because again he wanted to take it to trial and he ended up being convinced to take the plea deal because there was number way he was going to win that case.

58:56 Yeah, no attorney sat him down and and finally made it through to him, right. Exactly. And so he did get a psych evaluation during that process, and he was officially diagnosed Bipolar disorder and narcissistic personality disorder. That's interesting. That's what's expecting that one, right. And so and I actually always like suspected, you know, growing up with him like that he might have bipolar because he did display some of those symptoms. And looking back at it now, not having those actual diagnosis, I'm like it fits. It makes exact sense. Like, I can see moments where he was manic and he was one of those bipolars that was mostly manic, went through very quick depressive episodes and then would be manic again. And and I think that, you know, in combination with those things and the narcissism was just always obvious. He was, he was always an obvious narcissist. And that's why he, he had those, you know, very skillful manipulation skills, you know?

59:57 And also why a lot of people didn't like him, right? Yeah, so a lot of people didn't like him when they saw through him. And then a lot of people did like him because he had this very charismatic persona that he put on to. Trick people and they care about. And that's why somebody in that case would take it to trial, because they care more about the fact that people would see them. Because in order to get a plea deal, you have to admit guilt. Right. And. And you don't want to admit that to the world. That you physically assaulted your girlfriend? That doesn't look good on anybody's record. Right. And he actually, he has a Facebook page. So I'm not sure how it's being run. It could be possible that he's calling somebody and asking them to post on his behalf. It could be possible that he has contraband. It could be possible that even the prison he's in is allowing them Internet access, because some prisons do. But I see this page.

1:00:48 I think when you have like a like a sex crime that involves the Internet, they ban the Internet from you. But this is a terrible random story. But years ago, I met a guy like a couple weeks before he went to prison. And he wanted me to, I don't know, be loyal to him. And I'm like, dude, I don't even know you. But years later, he hit me up on Facebook too, while he was in prison. And I was just, yes. What are you expecting, bud? I'm dating somebody. He's like, you didn't wait for me. And I'm like, I only knew you for two weeks. What are you talking about? But yeah, some of them do have access, I guess based on good behavior, things of that nature. And and yeah, I've even seen like people in jail cells going live on Facebook or going on.

1:01:32 Things like that. Like I've seen, you know, prisoners on TikTok and things like that. So he has a Facebook page and even on this page, you know, he has supporters galore, a bunch of people who support him. He posts all of these very delusional. He really thinks of himself as a God. He thinks of himself as a prophet. Like he is that type of narcissist. He's very spiritual and he just really thinks of himself as the end all be all. He thinks he's a prophet. And he has supporters, and he has made a post about the situation. And again, it's all defending his actions. What? Yes, just all defending it, saying it was, you know, he didn't need to do it. He was on drugs and it was for whatever reason, you know, I feel like when he goes up for parole, you need to have screenshots of that because that is not somebody who is contrite and ready to, you know, be back into society. You're at.

1:02:31 You're saying you did nothing wrong. Are you kidding me? Dude, you almost died. Yeah, absolutely. No remorse. And I think and and I do wonder about that. Had I died? Had I not made it through, which again, was nothing to do with him? It was not. Because of him that I'm alive. It was because of my neighbors stopping him. If he was able to continue on, I would be dead today. And so I just, I do wonder, like in that moment, would that have changed anything or would he still justify it probably? I think he would. I mean, to avoid going to prison you have to essentially you can't show any remorse in court, like because I'll be like, Oh well, that means you did it. You can't like even in situations where somebody shot someone out of self-defense, they really can't show any remorse for the action or it looks bad to the jewelry.

1:03:23 So you have to maintain this position of I was right and it just seems so callous to me personally that you could look, you know, your victim in the face and and be like, yeah, I stabbed you and and collapsed your lung and did all these horrible things to you and So what? Right now here's my question and I was I thought about this after we had our pre interview. What happens with his aspect of being a parent when he gets out of prison? Do you have to allow him access? So because so I was three months pregnant when this happened, so he was in jail when the baby was born and so. I don't know if this is just a Colorado thing, but again, if you, if the father is not present to sign for the birth certificate, they will not go on the birth certificate. Right.

1:04:17 And so I am the only parent on his birth certificate. I am. I did foolishly as you know, a teen who wanted to still make things work with him. I did give my child his last name, Marlon's last name. That can be changed. And so, yeah, that's that's what we're in the process of right now is changing my child's name legally. Filing I I do. In the state of Colorado. You have legal custody. The mother has full legal custody of her child unless you know, you know, proven, you know an unfit parent or things of that nature. But but my son is, you know, mine legally. And after my partner and I get married, he'll be probably adopting my son just to make sure that if if something does happen where Marlin does try.

1:05:02 That's what I'm worried about. Because a lot of these times, people who are abusers will try little ways to to stay in your life. Right. And that is my fear. That is my fear with him getting out is, is the fact that we do have this child that he might want access to, that he might want to take from me, that he might want to hurt either me or my son. And so that's our biggest thing is, is protecting my son. And so again, that's why my partner will be adopting him, because. If something were to happen to me, you know, I'd hate for the baby, you know, Marlon to come. Yeah, right. Which he wouldn't. But I I just want to make sure everything is in place to make sure that even if Marlon does try to get custody, if he does try to get visitation, that no judge would look at, you know, this this case and say, yeah, you can have visitation.

1:05:52 So we're just making sure, putting everything in place to make sure that that doesn't happen. I wish I could say that I have not seen that happen, but I have. I've seen actual rapists request visitation from the children that weren't born out of an assault and and and someone actually trying to petition the court because, well, that's still my kid and I want to have. I'm like, are you kidding me, dude? Right. It's it's disgusting and and I think we're going to see a lot more of it with the laws that are being put in place in this country. Yep. Unfortunately, I just saw a case and people. This girl, she was very young.

1:06:32 She didn't want the baby, and she had no option to get rid of the baby. She hit it and then she tried to throw it away. And I'm like, well, yeah, when you don't allow women the ability to control their reproductive health, this is what's going to happen. We said to you this is what was going to happen. Yeah, people will find a way. Absolutely, because it's not as easy to get your child adopted out as people think. Oh, yeah, no, it definitely. And and we already have you know hundreds of thousands of children in the foster right system being harmed every day. It makes me so upset.

1:07:13 One thing I wanted to talk about was you said we talked about in the pre interview. But I I want, I want them to hear about this because like you said, you were on Marlon's side for about two years after he was in prison. I want to talk about that time period of when you were using all of your money to to talk to him and and for hours every day, like what was going through your mind then? I guess it's what, 18 to 20 years old? Yeah, so at his one of his 1st Court hearings, I attended everyone you know with my family and. I put a petition to modify our protection order because again, in these situations, you know, the district attorneys are pressing charges and there was a a restraining order, a protection order put in place and I wanted it modified because I wanted to be able to to visit him in the jail.

1:08:06 And these visits are not in person. They're all on video call and and if you go to the jail, it's free. If you want to do it on your phone at home, it costs money. And then when he got able to use the phones. As opposed to just the video visits, it costs $0.12 a minute to talk on the phone and I was paying for it. I've I've learned that in contacting people who are in prison now for stories and things, I think to send an e-mail to the one woman I've spoken with in the UK, it's like $4.00 every time I send her an e-mail. Yeah, yeah. So and we did the like the e-mail thing as well.

1:08:48 Paid money for that, you know, sent each other letters and talked on the phone for $0.12 a minute. And you would think you're spending all this money. You're trying to help him feel better while he's in prison, and I'm sorry, it's out of my control. I would have dropped the charges if I could. You would think in that situation he would be nice to you. And you know, he was in the beginning, and I think that was part of the love bombing. Manipulation to get me to stay with him because he was everything I wanted him to be before, you know, I wanted him to be sweet to me and my love. Language is words of affirmation and I wanted him to give me those words of affirmation. He was finally starting to do these things. Finally starting to tell me all the things I always wanted to hear from him and then you know two years into our relationship and and it's it's the breaking me down.

1:09:36 You know, the accusing me of being unfaithful to him, which I wasn't at any point, even though it would have been, I think justified. Like I stayed so loyal to him. I just rode so hard for him, defended him, and he's just on the phone with me, making me feel small and insecure. And I just realized, I'm paying money for this. I'm paying money to money that should go with your son. Exactly. And I'm I wasn't necessarily working at the time and maybe had some like side gigs but I was a stay at home teen parent you know living with my parents and and thank God for my parents. You know I I love my mom. I love my dad. They've they've taken such good care of me and allowed me to really be at home with my son. But again I'm I'm not working using whatever money I I can get basically to to you know spend money on on talking to this man to be belittled.

1:10:26 And that was when I realized I like myself. And I don't like the way he's making me feel about myself and I'm not gonna pay for this anymore. And so that was when I finally started to slowly kind of come out of that hold he had on me and decide that it was time for me to to leave him Now, when you stopped doing the phone calls, did he reach out? Yes. So he still would call me and even after I officially broke up with him. Even now and then he would call me and I still, it took a while for me to finally cut contact because he started to pay because he was working in the jail, like they have jobs. And so he, you know, they it's, I mean it's basically, you know, legal slavery, which is a whole other conversation. But he was making, you know, a certain amount of money to wash dishes in the jail.

1:11:16 And his mom would put money on his books and things like that. And so he started actually using his own money off his books to pay for the calls. So I started answering them. You answered. Yeah, So I would talk to him and I would, you know, and this, you know, he was somebody that was like my best friend. Like before anything, even when we were to introduce each other, we would never say, this is my boyfriend, this is my girlfriend, you know, I say this is my best friend. And so it was hard for me to like, you know, even after an extra betrayal. It absolutely like, it wasn't just, you know, a partner. It was. It was my best friend, you know, for years. So even after you decided, you know, I like myself, I want to do better, you still kind of talk to him for a little while. Yeah, I did for a little bit.

1:11:58 And then I actually started getting into a new relationship with somebody else, not my current partner, but just somebody I saw kind of briefly after that. And and that's a whole other story in itself. But I I just was like, I think I'm done talking to him. I was going to ask you, do you feel like I can only speak from my own experience? It took me a while, I think to get from the abusive aspect of of my relationship to like a positive, good relationship like the one I'm in now is a very good one. But I I had two other people I dated after my abuser and I was trying to figure out how are people supposed to treat you? I don't know, is this right?

1:12:44 My head was completely skewed for so long. Did you go through that too? Well, I made very poor decisions and partners after that. So the first person that I like really was very casually seeing after this was some. It was like he was somebody that kind of helped me. Like, really make the final decision to break up with Marlon because I kind of wanted to pursue this other person, but this person ended up being just as narcissistic. Oh no, just as abusive. Not to me. He ended up dating a friend of mine and was very abusive to her. So I just made very poor decisions. And then the guy that I dated for, you know, a little bit more seriously, for a few months after that, another narcissist who?

1:13:29 Just didn't really have a lot of empathy for me. And even in the days when I when I broke up with that person, he compared the feeling of me breaking up with him to what Marlon had done to me. He told me. He told me, Sadie, remember when Marlon stabbed you? Do you remember the feeling you felt? That's how you're making me feel, no? And I was like that is not the same actually that's. Yeah. So I'm in fact anybody would say that. Wow, wow. And. It was actually so my best friend in the world, Her name is Maddie. Shout out to Maddie. her and I sat down shortly after I'd broken up with Marlon when I was still kind of, you know, casually seeing that other person and I I made a list.

1:14:11 I made a list of everything I wanted in a partner, and I put, I kept it in my phone and I just kind of, you know, didn't really think about it too much. Didn't look at it all the time. But by the time I broke up with that other person, who compared? Compared our situations after I broke up with him, I was like I'm going to find my person and they're going to be exactly everything on this list. They're going to treat me well they're going to have the same interest as me. You know all of these things, all of these things on my list and I was like I I'm going to know it when I see them and or you know however it was like I'm going to date them and you know these things are going to happen and they're going to say these things to me and that's going to be my confirmation that this is the right. Person my my Cosmic Life partner. And everything unfolded with my partner Christopher, exactly how I imagined it.

1:14:56 Oh, that's wonderful. I absolutely lucked into it. I went into a period of I am not going to, I'm gonna go on dates, but I am not going to allow anybody to get close to me if it does not feel right. And for like a solid like 11 months I went on dates. And if it didn't feel right, I immediately went Nope and just didn't see the person again. And then last Christmas, or right before Christmas, I went on a date with my current partner and it was like, huh, light. There's just like a light of. Like right, what is this is everything that I've always wanted someone to talk to me in this way, someone to listen to me in this way, someone who is very because you do.

1:15:40 I always make all the jokes as like, you know, hot girls with all of our mental health issues. But absolutely who who understood that? And it was actually really interesting. One day he took my roommate to the grocery store and he asked her she does this thing and it has to do with my ADHD and how I I talk and how I jump from subject to subject so fast. And he like he asked her about it to try and understand me better. He didn't get mad at me. He he was like, how do I learn more about this condition She has because she is completely oblivious. She has some of the ways that she she talks sometimes. And I was like, that's really nice because I met so many people who were like, your mental health's not my problem. I don't care.

1:16:28 That's love and and I think the person that I was with prior to my partner, like, I think he. He was kind of that way. He didn't really understand my my traumas. I mean, I had just gotten out of that relationship with Mara, right? He didn't really understand, you know, how how things were for me and didn't really have a lot of empathy and and wanted me to, I think just be normal and right. Just be regular, right? And so yeah, why are you crying? For no reason. Right, right. Exactly like he would. Oh my gosh, it was. It was horrible to the point where if I was venting to him about something, he would be like, why do you want me to do your personal development for you? Oh. I'm like, I'm just, he's like I'm not your therapist. Get my good.

1:17:08 I'm like. I'm a therapist, thank you. I'm just talking to you because you're my boyfriend, but like, I still have. I have trauma for my abusive relationship. It's been for almost five years now, and slamming doors affect me. Yes. And they still do. Like when I hear a very loud smash, something break, drop on the ground, it's really loud. I jump. And so the fact that you, like you meet somebody who's kind of got to be okay with the fact that that's sort of a thing. And I don't know when that's going to stop because for me, I I was with somebody who didn't hit me but hit other things and and that's a sign of I could hurt you if I wanted to.

1:17:54 Right, absolutely. You know, so that's that's it's scary. And so I still have those little moments that pop up and and to have somebody just be like just just come over here and cry for a little bit, that's it's wonderful. It's it's love and and my partner is my partner also you know struggles with some some traumas of his own and so he's very understanding towards me and you know we we just get each other and that's you know like the biggest blessing for me is like finding my person because you wouldn't you wouldn't imagine being able to trust somebody again after like that. Kind of betrayal, but I'm very blessed and lucky that and I'm an optim. I'm an optimist 100% and it's almost to a fault where I just can't control it. I just can't let anything drag me down for too long. Even in the hospital after I had woken up, after everything had happened and I just felt this feeling of, I don't know why this happened, but it's it was for a reason. And one day, because I've always wanted to be a public speaker, one day I'm going to tell the story from stage. And I had that feeling waking up in the hospital. And so I just am a very optimistic person. If we have to point out a reason, maybe the reason was so that your son wouldn't grow up with Marlon and his life. And I'm so grateful for that and I look at people who you know have to to Co parent with people that maybe didn't treat them well and it's it's really hard and I'm lucky that I don't have to Co parent with him.

1:19:20 He's out of the picture. Maybe. Maybe you unfortunately went through all this pain, but you can save your son from going through more pain of having a narcissistic parent. Because I have a bio dad who is he's the trip I I in my adulthood. I finally had to say to him, I don't like talking to you because every time I talk to you, you make me feel bad. I was like, if you want to know about my life, text me. Because I just don't even want to have a conversation with you, dude. Right? At every opportunity, he somehow finds a way to just be awful. And so maybe you know, your son was saved from having a life of of being raised by somebody like that.

1:20:02 Yeah absolutely And and I'm I'm so grateful and and the way my life has turned out since that is, it's so good compared to what it would have been. Right. What it could have been. I mean, you're you're doing wonderful things like you said, you started a lifestyle brand you. I I saw your modeling. I even saw. I noticed you did like photography on your page. You said it's just a hobby, but it looks beautiful. Some of the things that you've done. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah. I've I've been doing modeling for a few years now. I actually went to like modeling and acting trade school kind of after I broke up with Marlon. And I'm starting to do that and and then me and and, you know, my best friend Morgan started Get Life, which is a lifestyle brand.

1:20:46 And it's it's all about, you know, living life like there's no tomorrow. And that's the idea behind it. And I don't think I would have stepped into the leadership role that it took for me to own this brand if I was still under Marlon's thumb and allowing him to lead all my decisions. Right, because it doesn't seem like it at the time. But they do little things to to sabotage you. I think about that too, in regards to like TikTok and whatnot. And I started this. Being involved with TikTok in 2021. Started the podcast 2021 and I'm like, I don't know if I would have done this right. If if that person was still in my life because at every opportunity he he chipped away just little bits, little bit at a time and I didn't realize it.

1:21:32 And would I have had the confidence to to get on camera, to be in a movie, to go on a film set, I don't know. I don't know if I would have been that person that I I was in. You know, the late aughts or the 20 teams that I am now? Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. I feel the the same way. Like I I don't think I would have had the confidence to go after my dreams and I wouldn't have, you know, I wouldn't I I would have let him take the lead, like it's just how we operated. I would have let him, you know, kind of do things and and really get life. A big part of it was inspired by the near death experience I had because I I did realize how much I wanted to check off my bucket list and how much I wanted to be a full time parent and I wanted to help other people do the same thing.

1:22:13 And so that's what we do and it's it's like been the biggest blessing of my life. So I, even though it was horrible and traumatic and I still do suffer from the trauma in certain regards, like I couldn't be more happy that that happened to me. It's weird, Yeah, Yeah, I I. Funny enough, this morning before my my partner left for work, I was just like, I wish we would have met each other when we were younger, but on the other side, you know I am who I am now to meet this person who seems perfect for me because of who I am now. Yes, I ohh I agree so much. Yeah. So, and I remember something one of my therapists said to me, it's something that I I still struggle with sometimes, she said.

1:22:58 Forgive who you had to be to survive Whatever you had to do to get you where you are right now. There's no reason to have a regret about any of that. You did what you had to do to get where you are today. And you know, I think about like, Dang. I mean, I let this guy ruin my college experience. I I would skip school. I failed out of school for that dude. You know, like, what would I have been if I hadn't? I hadn't failed out of college if I hadn't. You know, done all these things, lived in these places. I don't know. But I know that who I am right now is somebody that I am proud of. And it sounds like you are too. Yeah. And I love that you said that. That resonates a lot because it is hard for me to look back at my 18/19/20 year old self who was, you know, in this relationship with this person. And I almost feel more regret and guilt, not because of what he did to me, but because I know he had other allegations against him and I ignored them.

1:23:53 And so I like to all of his other victims, like, I love you guys and we're, you know, united together. And I stand by you. But I I think I love that you said that, like, forgive who you had to be to survive. I'm gonna keep that in mind for sure. The day the day this woman said that to me, it it was stuck in my head all day long and I was just like that was the first time I was at therapy and I was just racked and it was such a simple statement. Forgive yourself, Britney. And I I I really struggled with it for a long time. Because you you blame yourself. You're like, what if I I why did I accept this horrible treatment everybody around me, like when literally when I was like we broke up, my my friends were like, thank Hallelujah, finally. You know they had never liked this man for years. But I wasn't willing to listen.

1:24:47 And I just. I wasn't ready. Yeah. And and that's the thing about abusive relationships that people need to understand because I I have a lot of friends cut me off. And I know it was because it was hard. It was hard for them to see me in pain, to see me be with somebody who could do something like this to me. And for their own well-being in mental health, I'm sure it was just easier for them to separate. But the people that stood by me and didn't make comments, you know, my best friend, Maddie, she never liked that man, but she never told me anything, you know, she always was by my side, you know, So those people in your life, it's so important to have because when you're friends who are in these, you know, abusive or at least toxic relationships, when they're ready to leave, they will become ready to leave on their own accord and what they need is a support system to back them.

1:25:36 Yeah, and that's what I tell people now. Like when people ask like, what do I do, you know? My friend's this horrible guy and I'm like, you don't have to always sit and listen to your friend complain. I was like, what you tell them is I love you. I will always be here for you. I do not want to hear about that man anymore, and that's totally valid. It can be hard to see a friend be in so much pain, and there's only so much you can do for somebody who doesn't want to, you know, make a change. You can't. You can't save people. You can't push a dead bear up a tree. I had to. I had to say it to somebody I knew not that long ago. I had to say, listen, I cannot sit and watch you get harmed.

1:26:17 And weirdly enough, she showed up on my doorstep. He had stabbed her. My God. And I was just like, come on in. Yeah, I used to think my story was, you know, more unique. But I've met a lot of people that have been stabbed by partners. Even my current partner was stabbed by an ex of his not in, you know, such a brutal way that I was, but her situation was one. Time and and she walked out the door and I was like what do we need to do And we we called her mom and her mom showed up the next morning and when he was at work pulled all over crap out of the house. And I mean, that was what she needed to see like experience though. And like, you know, I I had to tell somebody else in my life. I was just like, because now I'm just full of all these statistics that I've learned about this from my own experience, from things I I've researched for, for the podcast and for TikTok.

1:27:11 And I I had to tell a close friend I was like, you know, the likelihood that you're going to die goes up about 80% when he chokes you. Yeah. He's like, you just told me that this man choked you. I I can't leave that from you. The next time, he might kill you. And I was like, I'm not going to disavow you, but I'm I'm letting you know that if you stay in this situation, you're putting yourself and your kids at risk. And I don't know whether she'll leave that situation or not. But I'm not going to abandon my friend. I'm just got to tell you that I don't like that guy and I'm not all easy. Can't come into my house, right? I was. Like exactly. You can come stay here whenever you want, but he can't come.

1:27:55 You can bring your whole. Crew here. But yeah, it's tough. It's really hard to be on the outside. That's one of the things that I've been exploring and talking to people this this year with with the the new season of the podcast, you you have the base person who experienced the trauma, but then there's also a bubble of people around that person who also experienced trauma. So you have your neighbors who were there who also got attacked. You're very close friends. Your parents who saw you in your hospital, like all of them were affected by that moment, that I'm sure the moment that both your mom and dad saw you in that hospital bed is embedded in their brain for the rest of their lives. You're their baby.

1:28:37 And so that affects them. That's why actually, the organization that I work for, they provide counseling not just to the person who's been assaulted, but also to like the children and other household members who were there too. Because there's trauma in just witnessing what happened to somebody and nobody absolutely about that. You know, and so that outside bubble, those other people also were greatly affected. It's not just a crime against one person, right? And and I I think that's part of the reason why. So those friends that I had called for help, they did show up, but it was after the the police and the paramedics had already arrived. And so they they met me at the hospital. I've not seen them since that day. I think it was so hard for them to see me in that hospital bed looking the way I did that they just could never face me again.

1:29:23 And even my partner, who I met my partner years later, you know, and him and I have been together for two years now and it affects him. You know, somebody who wasn't even there for when it happened, didn't even know who I was. But every time you know he doesn't watch my tik toks when I talk about it, you know, and he knows the story and everything, but it affects him so deeply it makes him so upset to think about. Well then you also look at the world, Cuz I don't talk about it a whole lot, but after my mom passed, I had a real tenuous relationship with wanting to be alive after that. And there's a lot of feelings that come from feeling that way. There's almost like a level of guilt of. Like, there's no way he could have been there to help you, but because he loves you so much in his head, he probably wishes he could have like, and he says that all the time. He's like, I he's like, I know I didn't know you, but I feel almost guilty for not being there to protect you, even though he lived in a different state when it happened. Like, you know, all of this.

1:30:28 And I always tease him because he's more than 10 years older than me. So I was tease him and say, well, you know, it would have been really creepy if you knew me when I was 18. Oh no. Yeah. It's weird. It doesn't make sense what what things we we take guilt for or or or feelings that we have sometimes. But I think it's sweet and it it's only my my partner's like you know that hurt that you felt years ago. I wish I wish I could have been there to help you with it. Right. But I'm like, you're here now and that's that's what matters, you know? That's, yeah, that's that's all I can hope for. You're here now. When the reverberations of of some of those situations affect me, I have someone who cares about the fact that it does affect me.

1:31:12 And that's massive. Absolutely. But yeah, Sadie, I this was wonderful to talk to you. I I think you're quite wonderful. I I love a lot of your posts that have nothing to do with this on your tech talk like we talked about how I loved your posts. You were like, please don't call me strong. And I was like I that would hit me so hard because my brain said if I never hear that I am strong another day in my life, that would be enough times that I have heard it. I don't want to be strong. I want someone to take care of me and to feel mental and and and take it. Care of being strong is not a badge of honor anymore. It just feels like.

1:31:54 You can endure trauma. I don't want to endure trauma anymore. I love we, Yes. As a society, we almost commemorate women and put value on a women. A woman based on how much abuse she is willing to endure from a man, right? That is. That is the badge of honor that we place on women. So I don't like to be called strong. I'm not strong. I was a victim of a terrible situation and I just kept living. Like what doesn't kill you doesn't make you stronger, it just forces you to keep surviving. Thank you. Oh, my goodness. That is exactly. It's not what what doesn't kill you make you stronger. It's just Tessa. My roommate is a friend I've had now for many, many years, and she always tells me she's she's living out of spite. Yeah, I love it.

1:32:38 Me too. Yep. And I was like, sometimes that's what you got to do until you can make it through to the place where you are living happily. Absolutely. Just push through everything until you can get to a place where you're like, OK, I think I'm happy now. Oh, spite is so powerful. Well, I hope that you have a wonderful life with your partner and your little boy, and I'll continue to, you know, like your videos on TikTok. Awesome. I appreciate you. Thank you for letting me come on and share my story. I've been wanting to, you know, be more open about this and hopefully I can, you know, help other, you know, domestic violence victims and survivors like overcome the things that they're going through.

1:33:21 Or, you know, if I could help somebody get out of an abusive relationship because they hear my story, like that's all I want. And so I just appreciate like having the platform to be able to speak on this. So thank you. And before we go, you can let anybody know your socials so they can find you online. Yeah, so my my socials are on everything. I'm on Instagram, TikTok, Facebook. All of it is Sadie Solstice. Or if you want to look me up by my handle, it's Little Miss Sadie. But it's LILMISS. S80S80 is my like, short term for Sadie. So that's where you can find me. I'm on all the platforms. All right. Well, thank you so much for talking to me today, Sadie.

1:34:03 And. Thank all of you for listening. You have a great weekend. Bye.