Sadie Solstice Was Almost Killed By her Ex-boyfriend

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Hey listeners, before we start
today's podcast I would like to

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give a trigger warning.
Today's podcast will feature

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some strong language, disgusting
of domestic violence, sexual

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assault and discussion of wounds
from a nearly fatal attack.

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If this is too much for you to
listen to today, I completely

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understand and I hope to see you
all in the future.

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Hey, everybody in serial killer
country.

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My name is Brittany Ransom and
this is When Killers Get Caught

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podcast of What is Deep Dives is
the killers we love to learn

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about.
And in season three we are going

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to talk one-on-one with people
who've experienced crime or been

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deeply affected by the justice
system in the United States.

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But don't fret.
You will still get your deep

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dives into how killers grew up,
how they killed, and how they

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got caught.
But I guess today was just 18

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years old when she became the
victim of a horrendous crime

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that almost took her life.
Her name is Sadie Solstice.

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She's a lifestyle brand owner
and a model.

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And you might have seen her
discuss this on TikTok, But

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today we're going to dig a
little bit deeper.

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Hey there, Sadie.
Hey, how are you?

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I'm good.
How are you doing?

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Awesome.
So like I said, I I came across

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one of your videos.
I'm not sure if it was a story

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time.
It might have been a slightly

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shorter video and was just like,
who's this?

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Right?
And then I I continued talking

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to you and finally we managed to
hook up so we could talk about

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what actually happened.
Now I have actually listened to

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all of your story time videos
about this, but I think I guess

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we should start for people who
haven't had a chance to figure

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out or hear what you remember
from the night of your attack.

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You said it was January.
It was February, actually.

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Oh, February.
OK, see I'm off.

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Yeah, so it was, it was the
night of February 5th and it

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actually that's when it began,
but it was actually the morning

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early in the morning on February
6th when the attack really

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occurred.
So it kind of took all night to

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get to that point.
But yeah, so the 5th and the 6th

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of February.
OK, So what starts us off the

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night before everything goes
off?

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Actually, I'm gonna roll it back
even further.

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Let's talk about you and your
ex.

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Yeah, So the person that
attacked me, his name is Marlon,

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and he was somebody that I knew
since middle school.

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We were, you know, good friends
in in middle school.

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We had a brief middle school
relationship where we dated for

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just a few months.
And then after breaking up, we

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still remain friends for, you
know, all of high school until I

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graduated in 2016.
And that's when him and I began

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another romantic.
Like relationship, you know, a

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more serious one, being that we
were older at that point.

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He was a year older than me.
And yeah, we we just started

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getting really close.
We started dating and then he

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somehow convinced me that it was
a a great idea for us to get

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pregnant and have a baby, even
though we were teenagers,

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freshly out of school, living in
the car most nights.

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But he convinced me, so I got
pregnant with his baby.

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OK, let's pause on that.
Living in your car?

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What exactly do you mean by
that?

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Yeah.
So just at that point in my

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life, you know as a 18 year old
that I felt free to do whatever

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I wanted and I was kind of
moving back and forth between my

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my mom's house and my dad's
house.

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They they got divorced when I
was like 15 and they just kind

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of kept kicking me out because
of.

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You know, whatever was going on
with me.

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And so I would get kicked out of
my mom's, go stay at my dad's,

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get kicked out of my dad's, go
stay at my mom's.

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And then I got a car.
So I just figured I'll just stay

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in my my car.
And so that way I don't have to

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worry about being kicked out.
And that was short lived for

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only a couple months until I got
pregnant and I decided I should

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probably, you know, stay.
My parents place, but yeah, most

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nights I was staying in the car,
especially because Marlon also

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was living at home with his
parents and that he had to like

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share a room with his younger
brother.

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So you know, it was just
uncomfortable, there wasn't a

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lot of space for him.
So he just preferred to stay in

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the car with me.
Can't exactly feel like a grown

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up sleeping with your little
brother or sister in the room.

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Right, Exactly.
OK, so you did decide that once

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you two got pregnant, you were
gonna kind of move back in with

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your your family.
Who are you staying with this

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time?
Mainly with my dad.

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OK, so the night of or the night
before at the assault, you're at

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your dad's house?
Right.

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So actually before we got to my
dad's house, we we were staying

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in the car.
So what had happened was a

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friend of ours, actually
somebody that we were looking

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at, you know, even moving in
with.

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He had his family and they were.
They, you know, they had his

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wife and kids had taken the car
and they were in the mountains

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and he was staying in this hotel
because we're all about to, you

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know try to find a place
together.

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And he needed almond milk for
his cereal.

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So we go to to bring him some
and this person was somebody

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that supplied us with, you know
with drugs basically with mainly

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acid and.
And yeah, and so we go to visit

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him.
And I always joke about this

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because that night when we were
eating cereal with him, Marlon

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poured the milk into the bowl
before the cereal.

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And like, that should have been
my red flag, because who does

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that?
Yeah, I've heard people say like

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that's that's serial killer
behavior.

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Exactly.
I should have seen it as a red

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flag, but so that that friend of
ours before we left.

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He gave Marlon drugs.
He gave him acid, which Marlon

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asked for it.
He said, you know, asked if he

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had any.
And he said, yeah, put out your

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hands.
And he had, I don't know if you

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know, those, like breath mints,
the, like, liquid breath mint

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droppers.
Yeah.

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So the the acid was in there and
he, you know, put it into his

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hand and Marlon licked his hand
and.

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Yeah, and.
And so we don't really have any

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way of knowing exactly how many
bits of acid, right?

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Because I usually have heard of
it as tabs, the little tiny

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squares that I guess they put
the liquid on.

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But I've never heard of you
taking the liquid directly.

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Right, exactly.
And so, yeah, so you know, it's

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measured out when you're putting
it onto the paper.

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So you kind of have an idea of
how much it is you're taking,

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but not with this.
So that's something I've kind of

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just always thought about was,
you know, how much really was in

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that that little vial, that
little mint dropper.

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And from what I understand, acid
runs through your system so

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quickly.
If they don't, I mean if they

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wouldn't have given him a drug
test like the night of the

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assault, there's no guarantee
they would have even known.

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Right.
Yeah, you can't, really.

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You can't test for it like in
your urine.

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I think you have to do it in
blood.

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Yeah, it has to.
And it has to be like, within

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like 24 or 48 hours.
It's pretty fast, right?

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So, huh, Well, I guess that adds
another layer to this of well,

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we'll talk about your feelings
about the whole idea of, you

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know, oh, well, he was high, cuz
I don't think that really cuts

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it in the long run, but.
Right.

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I agree.
Yeah.

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So after that we I drove him
back to his parents house and I

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wanted to go home.
I wanted to go to my dad's house

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and get sleep because I was
pregnant.

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It was late at night.
I was exhausted.

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Yeah.
And so he, you know, I I drop

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him off and or we pull up to his
parents house and a lot of times

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when we slept in the car it was
usually right outside his

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parents house and so he yeah.
So I drop him off there and he's

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like, oh you're he's like you're
just dropping me off.

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He's like you're not gonna stay
the night with me.

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He's like I don't want a trip by
myself.

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And so I was like, OK, well,
yeah, I guess I understand not

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wanting to like.
Trip by yourself.

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I was like, but I'm really
tired.

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So I just laid the seat back in
the car and we were just laying

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there listening to music and and
and other audios.

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And I, you know, drifted off
into sleep.

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And at one point I woke up and I
was so thirsty and I knew that

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we didn't have any water in the
car.

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I knew that, you know, all the
gas stations nearby were closed.

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And he I was asking him like if
he was starting to feel.

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You know, like he was tripping.
But you do build the tolerance

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to acid.
See, I didn't know that.

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I've always heard people talk
about it as, you know, the one

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drug you can't get addicted to
because.

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Right, not entirely true.
Right.

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Well, and it's, it's true and
it's not true because you can

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become addicted to anything, you
know.

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I'm sure you've seen the shows
like My Strange Addiction.

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Those are.
Habitual addictions.

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And so it's a little bit
different than like a chemical

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addiction where you know, your
your body physically craves a

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certain chemical, right.
So yeah, So I think that he was

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addicted to the the habit of
taking acid.

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But it also, yeah, you you do
build a tolerance to it.

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Like if you take, you know, acid
twice within a week, the second

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time you're probably not going
to feel it.

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Yeah, especially if you take the
same dosage.

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That's what one of my friends
told me.

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You can't even.
She couldn't even do it

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back-to-back.
Like if she would did it

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Wednesday, she would need to
wait until at least Saturday.

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Yes, exactly.
Because you just build a

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tolerance to it so quickly and
you would have to just really up

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your dosage and so.
You know, Marlin was somebody

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that was taking acid pretty
regularly.

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And so I, you know, he had
started to build a tolerance to

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it.
And so that's kind of what I

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thought was happening.
I thought, you know, because he

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said he wasn't really feeling
much, he wasn't really starting

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to trip yet.
And I was like, OK, well, yeah,

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maybe you just, you took it too
soon since the last time.

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You know, you've probably just
built your tolerance.

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And I was so thirsty and I just
wanted to get water.

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But.
So this is something kind of

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strange that people who didn't
know him may not understand, but

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Marlin was very, very against
drinking tap water.

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He was very particular about the
water that he drank.

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It had to be purified.
It had to be a certain pH level.

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And because I was pregnant with
his child, he felt that he

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wanted me to only drink.
You know, the same like

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purified, you know, water that
had.

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You know, this pH balance or was
alkaline or OK things of that

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nature.
So it's something very

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particular that like other
people may not understand as

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this being a weird thing for
him.

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But I thought it was very
strange that when I suggested,

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hey, let's just go to the
Denny's down the street that we

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would frequent a lot, you know,
they're open 24 hours.

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This is around 4:00 in the
morning.

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I was like, let's just go to the
Denny's and get water there,

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which Denny's obviously serves
tap water.

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And he was like, yeah, that
sounds like a great idea.

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And I I made like a mental note
at the time thinking this is

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weird of him to be like, this is
a good idea instead of trying to

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drive all over Denver trying to
find a gas station that's open

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to get bottled water.
I and I I made that note in my

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head of the reason he's allowing
this is because maybe it's

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because he's high.
And so that was like the first

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weird clue to me.
So we we go to the Denny's and

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again, he's having weird
behavior.

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He drinks 2 glasses of tap water
himself, which again doesn't

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sound weird to other people, but
for him it was very strange and

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he ended up actually coming into
the women's bathroom.

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00:12:01,670 --> 00:12:03,510
With me, I went to go use the
bathroom.

226
00:12:03,510 --> 00:12:06,030
And when I come out to wash my
hands, he's in the bathroom.

227
00:12:06,030 --> 00:12:08,310
And he's like, hey, you know,
telling me something.

228
00:12:08,310 --> 00:12:10,070
And I was like, hey, like, what
are you doing in here?

229
00:12:10,070 --> 00:12:11,790
This is the woman's bathroom.
And he's like, oh, it doesn't

230
00:12:11,790 --> 00:12:14,390
really matter if I'm in here.
And I I kind of agreed with him

231
00:12:14,390 --> 00:12:15,990
because, again, it's four or
five in the morning.

232
00:12:15,990 --> 00:12:17,750
There's nobody in there.
And I was like, I guess you're

233
00:12:17,750 --> 00:12:19,230
right.
I guess it doesn't really matter

234
00:12:19,230 --> 00:12:22,630
which bathroom you go into.
But again, it's just something

235
00:12:22,630 --> 00:12:24,790
that he normally probably
wouldn't have done.

236
00:12:25,230 --> 00:12:30,630
And so this is when we go back,
you know, I'm thinking.

237
00:12:31,050 --> 00:12:33,530
I really want some rest.
I want to go to my my dad's

238
00:12:33,530 --> 00:12:36,690
house and go lay in my own bed.
But Marlon was not allowed in my

239
00:12:36,690 --> 00:12:40,970
dad's house.
My dad did not like him and so I

240
00:12:40,970 --> 00:12:44,490
was waiting basically until, you
know, I knew that my dad would

241
00:12:44,490 --> 00:12:47,410
have left for work before I
brought Marlon there.

242
00:12:48,090 --> 00:12:51,610
And so we just go and we lay in
the car some more in front of

243
00:12:51,610 --> 00:12:56,610
his parents house and I've drift
back off into sleep and I wake

244
00:12:56,610 --> 00:13:01,330
up to him grabbing my my thigh.
And his hand is freezing hold

245
00:13:02,130 --> 00:13:05,970
because he had been running
around outside and he's

246
00:13:06,130 --> 00:13:10,010
breathing heavy.
Oh, OK, so this is our first

247
00:13:10,410 --> 00:13:15,290
look into the fact that he's
probably getting up there right

248
00:13:15,290 --> 00:13:16,650
now.
Right.

249
00:13:16,690 --> 00:13:20,770
And so he starts asking me.
He scares me when he when he

250
00:13:20,810 --> 00:13:24,170
when he grabbed me like that.
And he starts telling me we need

251
00:13:24,170 --> 00:13:26,840
to hide.
And he's out of breath.

252
00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:28,240
I can tell.
He's been running around.

253
00:13:28,240 --> 00:13:30,160
He's cold.
You know, he, he'd been running

254
00:13:30,160 --> 00:13:31,920
around outside doing, I don't
know what.

255
00:13:32,440 --> 00:13:35,600
And he's like, we need to hide.
And I'm like, what do you mean,

256
00:13:35,600 --> 00:13:39,600
what do we need to hide from?
And he was like, well, I don't

257
00:13:39,600 --> 00:13:43,520
know, But you're God, right?
And yeah.

258
00:13:43,520 --> 00:13:46,000
So I was like, no, no, I'm I'm
not God.

259
00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:49,280
And I I'm like, I'm a person
just like you remember.

260
00:13:49,280 --> 00:13:52,680
And I'm trying to get him to,
like, remember things.

261
00:13:53,230 --> 00:13:56,070
Right.
And I open up the the sunroof in

262
00:13:56,070 --> 00:13:58,790
the car and I I, you know, tell
him like, look around, look out

263
00:13:58,790 --> 00:14:00,710
the windows.
There's nothing there.

264
00:14:01,070 --> 00:14:02,430
We don't need to hide from
anything.

265
00:14:02,430 --> 00:14:06,630
It's OK anyway, because at this
point you're kind of a seasoned

266
00:14:06,990 --> 00:14:08,750
person.
I don't know what you call it,

267
00:14:08,750 --> 00:14:11,390
not a trip guy, but you've been
here with him when he's been

268
00:14:11,390 --> 00:14:13,830
high, so you know it.
Right, exactly.

269
00:14:13,830 --> 00:14:17,030
And so yeah, so and I I just
thought because.

270
00:14:17,410 --> 00:14:20,930
And because I before I got
pregnant, I would often trip

271
00:14:20,930 --> 00:14:25,130
with him.
And so you know, I, we just kind

272
00:14:25,130 --> 00:14:27,810
of had this, you know,
philosophy that if things are

273
00:14:27,810 --> 00:14:30,650
not right in your body, if
you're tired, if you're hungry,

274
00:14:30,890 --> 00:14:33,410
whatever it may be, if you're
not in a good mood and you take

275
00:14:33,410 --> 00:14:35,850
acid, it's just gonna make you
feel those feelings more

276
00:14:35,850 --> 00:14:38,730
intensely.
So I just figured he must be

277
00:14:38,730 --> 00:14:41,210
very exhausted, He must be
tired.

278
00:14:41,210 --> 00:14:45,290
And that's why he's having this
weird reaction to the acid and

279
00:14:45,290 --> 00:14:48,720
so.
I told him for other people

280
00:14:48,720 --> 00:14:51,760
listening, it's also a really
long high from what I

281
00:14:51,760 --> 00:14:55,560
understand, like potentially
like 8 or more hours.

282
00:14:56,320 --> 00:15:00,520
So if you're having a bad time,
that sounds awful to me.

283
00:15:01,280 --> 00:15:03,160
Oh yeah, yeah, you.
And it can.

284
00:15:03,440 --> 00:15:06,240
Depending on how much you take,
it can last, you know, days

285
00:15:06,240 --> 00:15:09,240
even, especially if you're very
sensitive to substances.

286
00:15:10,320 --> 00:15:12,080
OK, yeah, that doesn't sound
like a good time to me.

287
00:15:12,080 --> 00:15:14,880
We're having a bad trip and it
lasts forever.

288
00:15:15,280 --> 00:15:16,360
Right.
Yeah.

289
00:15:16,360 --> 00:15:18,760
And you just you you don't know
when it's gonna end.

290
00:15:19,520 --> 00:15:24,360
OK, so he's talking to you about
you being an otherworldly being.

291
00:15:24,760 --> 00:15:27,040
Right.
So he I just figured he needed

292
00:15:27,040 --> 00:15:29,520
to sleep.
So I I tell him, OK, let's let's

293
00:15:29,520 --> 00:15:31,760
go to my dad's.
We'll we'll go to sleep and

294
00:15:31,760 --> 00:15:35,640
you'll feel better.
And so on the drive to my dad's

295
00:15:35,640 --> 00:15:40,760
house, he was acting very
strange and like singing very

296
00:15:40,760 --> 00:15:46,130
off key very loudly.
Just uncharacteristically to a

297
00:15:46,130 --> 00:15:49,250
song in the radio and just
acting very strange.

298
00:15:49,250 --> 00:15:53,370
And I'm like, I was laughing at
him, but I was also starting to

299
00:15:53,370 --> 00:15:58,490
get a little bit concerned.
And so we get to my dad's house

300
00:15:58,490 --> 00:16:01,490
and I take him up to my room and
I get him undressed.

301
00:16:01,490 --> 00:16:04,090
I get myself undressed.
So we're just in our underwear.

302
00:16:04,090 --> 00:16:08,130
And I put him in the bed, and he
keeps asking me questions like,

303
00:16:08,530 --> 00:16:11,490
Are you God?
How many times have we done this

304
00:16:11,490 --> 00:16:13,580
before?
Is it water?

305
00:16:13,700 --> 00:16:14,980
And that's what he kept asking
me.

306
00:16:15,140 --> 00:16:17,020
Is it water?
Is it water?

307
00:16:17,540 --> 00:16:21,180
And I'm not really listening to
him because I'm exhausted.

308
00:16:21,180 --> 00:16:23,180
He is honestly just bothering
me.

309
00:16:23,180 --> 00:16:26,940
He's annoying me.
I just want to go to sleep and

310
00:16:26,940 --> 00:16:29,700
I'm, you know, trying to tell
him nicely, like, hey, like,

311
00:16:30,260 --> 00:16:31,820
let's not talk anymore, let's
just go to sleep.

312
00:16:31,820 --> 00:16:35,340
But he just keeps asking me
questions, you know, thinking

313
00:16:35,340 --> 00:16:38,100
out loud basically, and asking
me over and over.

314
00:16:38,100 --> 00:16:42,220
Is it water?
And then this is really where

315
00:16:42,260 --> 00:16:45,980
the attack begins because, and
this isn't something that I've

316
00:16:45,980 --> 00:16:49,020
shared in too much detail and I
don't have a problem sharing it,

317
00:16:49,020 --> 00:16:55,540
but he asked me is it anal?
And I was like, what do you

318
00:16:55,540 --> 00:16:57,940
mean?
And I kind of laughed it off and

319
00:16:57,940 --> 00:17:00,500
I was like, is he just playing a
prank on me?

320
00:17:01,380 --> 00:17:06,819
Like is he trying to just get me
to do anal with him and this is

321
00:17:06,819 --> 00:17:10,579
like his weird way of trying to?
Make that happen.

322
00:17:11,020 --> 00:17:15,940
And I I asked him that and he
was very confused And so I was

323
00:17:15,940 --> 00:17:20,940
like, OK, so this is like not
like a weird prank, but that's

324
00:17:20,940 --> 00:17:25,540
when he gets on top of me and
he's like, OK, I know what I

325
00:17:25,540 --> 00:17:27,260
have to do.
I have to fuck you.

326
00:17:28,460 --> 00:17:32,420
And I was like, no, no, no, I am
not in the mood for this right

327
00:17:32,420 --> 00:17:35,220
now.
And that's when he just, you

328
00:17:35,220 --> 00:17:38,620
know, even though I'm telling
him no, he proceeds to.

329
00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:41,320
Basically, sexually, sexually
assault me.

330
00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:47,600
And then I was able to kick him
off and I went into my dad's

331
00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:51,480
bedroom, into his bathroom and I
locked the door.

332
00:17:52,400 --> 00:17:56,880
And this is when he comes up and
he's banging on the door,

333
00:17:58,000 --> 00:17:59,800
jiggling the handle, trying to
get in.

334
00:18:00,360 --> 00:18:02,600
And I'm yelling at him like,
dude, I'm not in the mood.

335
00:18:02,600 --> 00:18:07,320
Just leave me alone and I hear
him walk away.

336
00:18:07,760 --> 00:18:13,800
But then I hear all of this
sound downstairs and I'm like,

337
00:18:14,360 --> 00:18:18,680
cuz my dog is home and I'm like
a little bit concerned like

338
00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:20,320
okay, I don't know what's going
on.

339
00:18:20,320 --> 00:18:22,760
Like I should go check out and
see what he's doing.

340
00:18:23,080 --> 00:18:26,800
So I go downstairs and I can't
find him and he's he's in the

341
00:18:26,800 --> 00:18:31,840
garage in my dad's tools.
And he had grabbed a hammer out

342
00:18:31,840 --> 00:18:34,640
of my dad's tools.
So I try and break into the

343
00:18:34,640 --> 00:18:36,960
bathroom.
I think that's exactly what his

344
00:18:36,960 --> 00:18:39,800
intention was, was he was going
to use the hammer to try to

345
00:18:39,800 --> 00:18:42,960
break down the door, take the
handle off or whatever.

346
00:18:43,480 --> 00:18:48,280
And so I immediately I see that
and I get scared and I kind of

347
00:18:48,280 --> 00:18:50,840
wrestle with him a little bit
and I kind of just grabbed the

348
00:18:50,840 --> 00:18:56,120
hammer out of his hands and I.
I told him, dude, you're

349
00:18:56,120 --> 00:18:58,760
starting to scare me.
You know, I'm going to, like,

350
00:18:58,760 --> 00:19:01,080
mess you up if you, if you don't
stop.

351
00:19:01,720 --> 00:19:05,400
And so he then kind of just runs
upstairs.

352
00:19:05,680 --> 00:19:08,720
I go put the hammer away and
close the garage door.

353
00:19:09,040 --> 00:19:13,760
And I remember walking by my dog
and and telling her I might need

354
00:19:13,760 --> 00:19:18,640
you.
And I walk upstairs and Marlon

355
00:19:18,640 --> 00:19:23,600
is now in my bathroom and he's
splashing in the sink.

356
00:19:23,990 --> 00:19:26,830
Remember, he had been asking, is
it water, not water, right.

357
00:19:27,110 --> 00:19:30,110
So he's splashing in the sink.
And I opened the door.

358
00:19:30,110 --> 00:19:32,830
The door is like slightly open.
And I opened the door all the

359
00:19:32,830 --> 00:19:34,190
way.
And I step into the bathroom and

360
00:19:34,190 --> 00:19:35,910
I say, hey Merlin, like, what is
going on?

361
00:19:35,910 --> 00:19:37,910
And that's when he punches me in
the face.

362
00:19:38,510 --> 00:19:42,630
Oh, crap, OK.
Yeah, So he punches me and I

363
00:19:42,630 --> 00:19:45,670
fall back.
And this is where my

364
00:19:45,910 --> 00:19:50,750
recollection becomes a little
bit foggy because I I remember,

365
00:19:51,110 --> 00:19:53,470
You know what?
What happened after this?

366
00:19:53,700 --> 00:19:57,620
In like a chronological sense.
But there is a piece missing.

367
00:19:58,020 --> 00:20:01,180
A piece that I remember, but I
don't remember when it happened.

368
00:20:01,540 --> 00:20:04,860
But when I after I had gotten to
the hospital after all of this,

369
00:20:05,020 --> 00:20:09,060
this is all I remembered was
this one flash of him hitting

370
00:20:09,060 --> 00:20:11,660
me.
I hit him back, he hits me back

371
00:20:11,660 --> 00:20:15,380
harder and I decided not to hit
him back anymore because he's

372
00:20:15,380 --> 00:20:19,140
hitting me back harder.
So I don't remember when that

373
00:20:19,140 --> 00:20:21,540
happened, but when I got to the
hospital, that was all I

374
00:20:21,540 --> 00:20:23,940
remembered.
And then once I woke up from

375
00:20:23,940 --> 00:20:26,260
surgery, the rest of the
memories had come back to me.

376
00:20:26,260 --> 00:20:29,180
Except for I don't remember that
when that little bit when that

377
00:20:29,180 --> 00:20:32,460
flash happened.
Sometime between coming back

378
00:20:32,460 --> 00:20:36,580
upstairs and the final attack,
there was a moment where you did

379
00:20:36,580 --> 00:20:39,300
try and fight him back, right?
Yes.

380
00:20:39,340 --> 00:20:41,820
I just, I don't remember exactly
at what point that was.

381
00:20:41,820 --> 00:20:46,670
But what I do remember is going
into the guest room, which is

382
00:20:46,670 --> 00:20:49,470
right next door to the bathroom.
So after he he had hit me and I

383
00:20:49,470 --> 00:20:53,390
fell back, I I immediately
thought okay, I need help, but I

384
00:20:53,390 --> 00:20:56,070
don't want to call the cops on
him because I don't want him to

385
00:20:56,070 --> 00:20:59,510
get in trouble.
And so I went to the guest room,

386
00:20:59,510 --> 00:21:02,230
which didn't have a lock on the
door and I was just kind of

387
00:21:02,230 --> 00:21:05,150
leaned up against the door and I
thought, okay, I'm gonna, I'm

388
00:21:05,150 --> 00:21:08,750
gonna call some friends to come
and and help me just leave, you

389
00:21:08,750 --> 00:21:11,920
know.
And I was trying to think of

390
00:21:11,920 --> 00:21:14,440
because I, we had a group of
friends, a group of mutual

391
00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:18,400
friends that we spent a lot of
time with and majority of them

392
00:21:18,400 --> 00:21:22,240
were boys.
And I was trying to think who of

393
00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:26,040
my friends has a car because
like one of my best friends, he,

394
00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:28,960
his car was broken down.
And so I was just trying to

395
00:21:28,960 --> 00:21:30,960
think of like, who has a car.
And I I remembered a friend of

396
00:21:30,960 --> 00:21:33,000
mine and I was like, OK, he has
a car.

397
00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:35,150
I'm gonna call him.
I called him.

398
00:21:35,270 --> 00:21:37,510
He doesn't answer.
So I sent him a message and I

399
00:21:37,510 --> 00:21:39,270
just say, hey, I'm at my dad's
house.

400
00:21:39,270 --> 00:21:41,470
Marlon is beating me.
Please come help me.

401
00:21:41,950 --> 00:21:45,310
And before I'm able to get a
message back or anything like

402
00:21:45,310 --> 00:21:50,190
that, Marlon bursts through the
guest room door because again,

403
00:21:50,190 --> 00:21:52,630
it doesn't have a lock and I was
just leaned up against it.

404
00:21:52,750 --> 00:21:54,550
Yeah, so he's able to push
through.

405
00:21:54,950 --> 00:21:58,350
I'm sure you weren't a very
heavy person, no.

406
00:21:58,350 --> 00:21:58,790
Yeah.
No.

407
00:21:58,830 --> 00:22:02,270
I was 18, so I was, I was very
small and only three months

408
00:22:02,270 --> 00:22:05,030
pregnant at the time even.
I had even lost weight in my

409
00:22:05,030 --> 00:22:08,270
first trimester of pregnancy
because of my morning sickness.

410
00:22:08,590 --> 00:22:14,230
So yeah, so I was very small,
like I'm like 5-1 and I think at

411
00:22:14,230 --> 00:22:16,990
that time I was probably like
less than £110.00.

412
00:22:16,990 --> 00:22:21,150
So I was very small and I.
Just pulled you over exactly.

413
00:22:21,150 --> 00:22:25,690
So he gets in the room and he
basically picks me up and throws

414
00:22:25,690 --> 00:22:31,130
me down onto the bed and he
tells me pain isn't even real.

415
00:22:32,010 --> 00:22:35,410
And he bites my lip, my bottom
lip.

416
00:22:35,780 --> 00:22:40,060
He bites it so hard he's and
he's just continuing to bite it

417
00:22:40,060 --> 00:22:43,100
hard, just clamp down.
And this is when I start

418
00:22:43,100 --> 00:22:46,060
screaming because I'm hoping
that he'll stop or I'm hoping my

419
00:22:46,060 --> 00:22:49,860
dog will will come up or I'm
hoping my neighbors will hear me

420
00:22:50,100 --> 00:22:52,420
and I'm looking around to see if
the windows are open, hoping my

421
00:22:52,420 --> 00:22:55,100
neighbors will hear me.
And he's just biting me.

422
00:22:55,100 --> 00:23:00,220
And then he stops biting me and
he begins to sexually assault me

423
00:23:00,220 --> 00:23:03,680
again.
And and I believe he was also

424
00:23:03,680 --> 00:23:06,680
just, like, hitting me and
beating me as well.

425
00:23:07,040 --> 00:23:09,680
And this is when.
So this is, you know, in the

426
00:23:09,680 --> 00:23:12,840
morning time, you know, And my
phone alarm starts going off

427
00:23:12,840 --> 00:23:14,840
because I had an alarm set for
like every day.

428
00:23:14,840 --> 00:23:16,520
I want to say it like 8:00 in
the morning.

429
00:23:17,280 --> 00:23:21,040
And so my phone alarm is going
off and it's freaking him out.

430
00:23:21,760 --> 00:23:24,000
He's like, what is that?
What is that?

431
00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:26,080
Make it stop.
And I'm my phone's in the

432
00:23:26,080 --> 00:23:29,300
corner.
And so I I tell him, oh, it's

433
00:23:29,300 --> 00:23:30,300
just my phone.
Let me get it.

434
00:23:30,300 --> 00:23:32,060
If you let me up, I can get it.
I can turn it off.

435
00:23:32,060 --> 00:23:35,620
So he he gets up off me and I
grab the phone and I turn off

436
00:23:35,620 --> 00:23:37,100
the alarm.
And that's when he asks me

437
00:23:37,100 --> 00:23:38,620
again.
Is it water?

438
00:23:38,700 --> 00:23:41,900
And I say, yes, it's water.
It is.

439
00:23:41,980 --> 00:23:43,780
And I'm gonna go get you some
water.

440
00:23:43,900 --> 00:23:46,260
So you stay here and I'll go get
you some water.

441
00:23:47,100 --> 00:23:50,500
And I rundown the stairs.
But he's following behind me.

442
00:23:51,060 --> 00:23:54,820
And I I see my dog and she's
standing there kind of looking

443
00:23:54,820 --> 00:23:57,780
at me, concerned.
And I I sick my dog on Marlon.

444
00:23:58,660 --> 00:24:01,380
Oh, This is why I called Trixie
your hero.

445
00:24:01,500 --> 00:24:04,500
Yes.
Yes, she she really is.

446
00:24:04,500 --> 00:24:06,820
So yeah, my dog Trixie.
I tell her Trixie get him,

447
00:24:06,820 --> 00:24:10,660
Trixie get him and she starts
jumping on him and I open.

448
00:24:10,820 --> 00:24:14,020
I open the garage door.
I go into the garage, I open the

449
00:24:14,300 --> 00:24:18,580
the car door for the garage and
I start to get in my car when I

450
00:24:18,580 --> 00:24:22,140
realize I don't have the keys
because it was a push to start.

451
00:24:22,140 --> 00:24:25,020
So a lot of times I would just
leave my keys in the car cuz it

452
00:24:25,020 --> 00:24:28,390
wouldn't lock so I wouldn't be
locked out of the car, but I

453
00:24:28,390 --> 00:24:30,270
would just leave them in there
because I had the the clothes

454
00:24:30,270 --> 00:24:31,550
garage.
But I realized the keys aren't

455
00:24:31,550 --> 00:24:33,590
in there they're in my jacket
and I have to go back inside and

456
00:24:33,590 --> 00:24:37,030
get my jacket.
So as I go back in to get my

457
00:24:37,030 --> 00:24:40,270
jacket with the the keys in the
pocket and again at this point

458
00:24:40,270 --> 00:24:45,750
I'm I'm only in my my bra and my
panties and I I grab my jacket I

459
00:24:45,750 --> 00:24:50,550
start to put it on and my dog is
jumping on Marlon but he goes Oh

460
00:24:50,550 --> 00:24:53,390
yeah, I like dogs.
Like, he was remembering that he

461
00:24:53,510 --> 00:24:57,060
likes dogs and he starts like
petting her and kind of playing

462
00:24:57,060 --> 00:25:01,140
with her and you know, she, she
knows Marlon, right?

463
00:25:01,460 --> 00:25:05,900
You know, so she she's like just
like, OK, like it's just Marlon,

464
00:25:05,900 --> 00:25:11,260
it's OK, you know?
And so I start to go back to get

465
00:25:11,260 --> 00:25:13,420
into the car.
But he's right behind me now,

466
00:25:13,900 --> 00:25:17,860
and he, you know, opens up the
passenger side door to get into

467
00:25:17,860 --> 00:25:20,600
the car.
And I'm like, no, no, no.

468
00:25:20,800 --> 00:25:23,960
Like, you stay here, remember?
I'm gonna go get you some water,

469
00:25:23,960 --> 00:25:26,000
do you remember?
And I'm trying to get him to

470
00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:30,840
stay.
And he actually begins, he

471
00:25:30,840 --> 00:25:33,200
starts peeing into my car.
Oh.

472
00:25:33,840 --> 00:25:36,040
Geez, into the passenger side
door.

473
00:25:36,040 --> 00:25:40,000
He's peeing into it and he's
just laughing and he, like,

474
00:25:40,040 --> 00:25:43,720
starts running around the car
trying to pee on me.

475
00:25:44,440 --> 00:25:48,920
So I, like, run away from the
car and I start running into the

476
00:25:48,920 --> 00:25:51,680
driveway and I'm just yelling
like, what the fuck is going on

477
00:25:51,680 --> 00:25:54,600
with you?
Like I was, I was like, so

478
00:25:54,600 --> 00:25:58,040
shocked by this.
So question here, in the space

479
00:25:58,040 --> 00:26:00,040
of all this, do you feel like
you were scared at all?

480
00:26:00,080 --> 00:26:03,360
Yeah, definitely.
Yeah, I was just, I was scared

481
00:26:03,360 --> 00:26:04,920
and I just wanted to get away
from him.

482
00:26:05,480 --> 00:26:08,600
And I just didn't really know
what to do because again, I'm

483
00:26:08,600 --> 00:26:11,960
still at a point of, like, not
wanting him to get in trouble,

484
00:26:12,450 --> 00:26:16,290
which was stupid, you know?
And so I I just really didn't

485
00:26:16,290 --> 00:26:19,210
know what to do.
So I I run into the the driveway

486
00:26:19,730 --> 00:26:24,490
and I see my neighbor, she's
she's like sitting in her car in

487
00:26:24,490 --> 00:26:26,490
the Culdesac.
So my dad lived in a Culdesac

488
00:26:26,490 --> 00:26:28,330
and she's like sitting kind of
on the other side of it.

489
00:26:29,290 --> 00:26:34,370
And I waved to her and then she
sees me and she's like, what's

490
00:26:34,370 --> 00:26:37,850
going on?
And I don't really want to like

491
00:26:37,850 --> 00:26:41,010
yell like help or anything like
that because I I don't want to

492
00:26:41,010 --> 00:26:43,470
alarm Marlon.
Like I'm at a point of like not

493
00:26:43,470 --> 00:26:45,870
really knowing how to handle
this situation.

494
00:26:46,030 --> 00:26:48,790
So I'm like I don't want to like
you know, be like help help and

495
00:26:48,790 --> 00:26:51,430
and alarm him, you know, and set
him off more.

496
00:26:51,750 --> 00:26:54,350
So I just kind of like mouths to
her like help.

497
00:26:54,350 --> 00:26:58,830
And she she goes, she like
mouths to me that she's gonna

498
00:26:58,830 --> 00:27:01,870
call 911 and she gets in the car
and she starts calling 911.

499
00:27:02,030 --> 00:27:03,750
And I don't think that she saw
this happen.

500
00:27:03,750 --> 00:27:06,750
But what happened was he picked
me up and he brought me back.

501
00:27:06,750 --> 00:27:10,840
Into the house, yeah.
Yeah, it's such an interesting

502
00:27:10,840 --> 00:27:14,680
thing in hindsight.
I I remember as a kid, I don't

503
00:27:14,680 --> 00:27:17,920
know if you learned this when
you were younger, but I remember

504
00:27:17,920 --> 00:27:21,400
being told you never want to
make an attacker angry.

505
00:27:21,720 --> 00:27:24,800
And I always wonder, in
hindsight, is that good advice

506
00:27:24,800 --> 00:27:27,400
to give somebody in the middle
of going through something like

507
00:27:27,400 --> 00:27:28,600
this, right?
Yes.

508
00:27:29,160 --> 00:27:32,980
My mom always taught me, you
know, somebody tries to to take

509
00:27:32,980 --> 00:27:34,980
you or anything like that.
She's like, you kick, you

510
00:27:34,980 --> 00:27:37,660
scream, you bite, you yell.
Right.

511
00:27:37,660 --> 00:27:40,380
So you don't do any go along
with it, right.

512
00:27:40,380 --> 00:27:42,740
Exactly.
And so you know, it probably

513
00:27:42,740 --> 00:27:44,980
would have been better for me to
take that advice at the time.

514
00:27:44,980 --> 00:27:49,540
But and after he pulled me back
in, you know, I was, I was

515
00:27:49,540 --> 00:27:52,860
kicking and I was, you know,
screaming and trying to get him

516
00:27:52,860 --> 00:27:54,980
off of me.
But again, I was a small person

517
00:27:55,300 --> 00:27:57,220
and so I couldn't really get
away from him.

518
00:27:57,860 --> 00:28:00,900
And so we get back.
He pulls me back into the house

519
00:28:01,330 --> 00:28:05,410
and he tells me, oh, I know what
I need to do.

520
00:28:05,810 --> 00:28:07,770
I need to kill you.
Oh geez.

521
00:28:08,530 --> 00:28:11,570
And so he starts.
He has me like, on the ground,

522
00:28:11,570 --> 00:28:15,690
like I'm laying on the ground,
face up, and he's standing,

523
00:28:15,690 --> 00:28:20,810
kneeling over me, choking.
So he starts strangling me and I

524
00:28:20,810 --> 00:28:22,490
start, like, trying to fight him
back.

525
00:28:22,490 --> 00:28:25,650
I'm like hitting him in the
nuts, but I can't quite reach.

526
00:28:26,110 --> 00:28:28,310
So I'm like trying to hit him
and but then again I remembered,

527
00:28:28,350 --> 00:28:30,470
you know, when I was hitting him
earlier, it was making him mad.

528
00:28:30,470 --> 00:28:33,070
So I'm like I'm, you know, just
fighting him off to try to get

529
00:28:33,070 --> 00:28:35,390
him off me.
But I'm also not trying to make

530
00:28:35,390 --> 00:28:37,550
the situation any worse.
Right.

531
00:28:37,550 --> 00:28:40,830
And so I also, I just kind of,
you know, let it happen.

532
00:28:40,830 --> 00:28:44,750
And I just, you know, I I just
passed out.

533
00:28:44,750 --> 00:28:48,950
I I lost consciousness.
And I think a lot of people

534
00:28:49,150 --> 00:28:51,910
don't realize, like when when
you're being choked out and when

535
00:28:51,910 --> 00:28:56,470
you lose consciousness, that's,
you know, that's not death, you

536
00:28:56,470 --> 00:28:58,870
know, that's just you've lost
oxygen to the point where you've

537
00:28:58,870 --> 00:29:02,470
lost consciousness.
But in order for somebody to

538
00:29:02,470 --> 00:29:05,470
really kill you through
strangulation, they have to

539
00:29:05,670 --> 00:29:08,110
continue.
They just follow through for it

540
00:29:08,110 --> 00:29:11,470
and nobody.
I just covered a case on TikTok

541
00:29:11,470 --> 00:29:15,390
where I talked about that it was
a grown man who tried to choke a

542
00:29:15,390 --> 00:29:18,830
little girl and gave up because
people don't realize.

543
00:29:19,610 --> 00:29:21,330
It actually takes a lot of
force.

544
00:29:21,610 --> 00:29:24,250
It does, yes.
You choke someone to death, so

545
00:29:24,530 --> 00:29:27,010
usually they give up and go do
something else.

546
00:29:27,010 --> 00:29:29,730
And that's the same thing that
happened here, right?

547
00:29:30,090 --> 00:29:34,250
Exactly.
So this is where I lose, like,

548
00:29:34,490 --> 00:29:37,490
my memory.
I know what happened and I have

549
00:29:37,490 --> 00:29:42,130
like maybe like flashes here and
there of memory but I did.

550
00:29:42,620 --> 00:29:45,660
I was so I lost consciousness.
And then at one point I I do

551
00:29:45,660 --> 00:29:49,140
remember I regained
consciousness and I was crying

552
00:29:49,460 --> 00:29:54,700
and he was like on top of me and
I don't remember exactly like

553
00:29:54,700 --> 00:29:58,820
what was happening but I would
basically ended up happening was

554
00:29:59,260 --> 00:30:04,260
he had grabbed a large kitchen
knife out of like the butcher

555
00:30:04,260 --> 00:30:08,180
block in my kitchen and began
stabbing me.

556
00:30:08,220 --> 00:30:12,410
So I was conscious and I was
fighting him off, and I have

557
00:30:12,410 --> 00:30:16,290
defensive wounds on my hand from
pushing the knife away, but I

558
00:30:16,290 --> 00:30:19,570
don't have any memory of
actually being stabbed.

559
00:30:19,730 --> 00:30:23,530
Oh, that's good.
It is, yeah, because it's pretty

560
00:30:23,530 --> 00:30:26,810
painful.
So at this point, our our hero

561
00:30:26,810 --> 00:30:29,650
Trixie kind of stepped in?
Yes, exactly.

562
00:30:29,650 --> 00:30:35,650
So because I had left the garage
doors open, she had run out and

563
00:30:35,650 --> 00:30:39,120
sat on my neighbor's porch.
This is what our neighbor told

564
00:30:39,120 --> 00:30:41,880
us afterwards that he sees
because he, they had one of

565
00:30:41,880 --> 00:30:47,280
those front doors that was like,
like foggy glass.

566
00:30:47,480 --> 00:30:50,840
So, like, you could kind of see
things outside of the door.

567
00:30:51,160 --> 00:30:53,640
And she's pawing at the door and
barking.

568
00:30:53,840 --> 00:30:55,520
And he's like, I think that's
Trixie.

569
00:30:55,520 --> 00:30:57,760
And he opens the door and he's
like Trixie, like, what are you

570
00:30:57,760 --> 00:31:00,160
doing here?
And she runs to like the end of

571
00:31:00,280 --> 00:31:04,520
of his driveway and sits there
and turns to look to see if he's

572
00:31:04,520 --> 00:31:07,970
coming.
And then she ran back to the

573
00:31:07,970 --> 00:31:10,490
house and he followed her over
there because he saw our garage

574
00:31:10,490 --> 00:31:12,890
door open and wanted to make
sure that, you know, Trixie got

575
00:31:12,890 --> 00:31:14,570
back into the house OK and
everything.

576
00:31:14,690 --> 00:31:20,490
And when he gets to the door, he
opens it and he sees Marlon on

577
00:31:20,490 --> 00:31:23,330
top of me, stabbing me.
Oh God.

578
00:31:23,850 --> 00:31:27,930
And so this distracted Marlon.
Marlon sees him come in and he

579
00:31:27,930 --> 00:31:30,890
gets up and he begins to run
towards my neighbor with the

580
00:31:30,890 --> 00:31:34,050
knife in hand.
And my neighbor shut, like,

581
00:31:34,050 --> 00:31:36,890
slams the garage door into his
face.

582
00:31:37,610 --> 00:31:39,730
And he begins to, like walk
away.

583
00:31:40,050 --> 00:31:43,250
And then he's like, he realizes,
no, I have to, I have to go back

584
00:31:43,250 --> 00:31:44,770
in.
I have to make sure Sadie's OK.

585
00:31:45,210 --> 00:31:47,810
But what had happened is once
Marlon had gotten off me and

586
00:31:47,810 --> 00:31:50,490
started running towards my
neighbor, I had an adrenaline

587
00:31:50,490 --> 00:31:53,930
rush and I got up and I ran out
the back door.

588
00:31:54,010 --> 00:31:57,570
So I was able to run out of the
house and I ran and I again,

589
00:31:57,570 --> 00:31:59,730
this isn't something I remember,
but something my neighbors told

590
00:31:59,730 --> 00:32:01,290
me.
I saw my my neighbor who had

591
00:32:01,290 --> 00:32:04,170
initially called 911.
She sees me run out and she

592
00:32:04,170 --> 00:32:07,490
tells me go run to our neighbor
Judy's house, just like go to

593
00:32:07,490 --> 00:32:09,850
Judy's house.
So Judy's there waiting for me,

594
00:32:10,170 --> 00:32:14,330
takes me inside, and that's the
next thing I remember is laying

595
00:32:14,330 --> 00:32:18,490
on Judy's couch and just being
in so much pain.

596
00:32:18,490 --> 00:32:21,850
And I don't think I realized
what had really happened.

597
00:32:21,970 --> 00:32:23,410
What?
I mean, you wouldn't have a

598
00:32:23,410 --> 00:32:26,970
frame of reference for something
like this, so I got it right.

599
00:32:26,970 --> 00:32:30,850
So a good majority of my stab
wounds were on my back.

600
00:32:30,970 --> 00:32:34,650
And so I I just remembered, you
know, Judy's asking me, like,

601
00:32:34,650 --> 00:32:36,170
where does it hurt?
What's going on?

602
00:32:36,170 --> 00:32:37,850
And I'm just like, my back
hurts.

603
00:32:38,170 --> 00:32:41,170
And to me, it felt like I had
been, like, punched.

604
00:32:41,770 --> 00:32:44,330
And so people ask sometimes, you
know, they want to know like,

605
00:32:44,330 --> 00:32:45,970
how did it feel when you got
stabbed?

606
00:32:45,970 --> 00:32:50,330
And even though I don't have
much memory of the actual act, I

607
00:32:50,330 --> 00:32:53,290
would say it's not a sharp pain.
I mean, and also I was being

608
00:32:53,290 --> 00:32:55,330
stabbed at the kitchen neck.
That was quite dull.

609
00:32:55,730 --> 00:32:59,890
So it was more of a dull pain,
like you're being punched, not

610
00:33:00,170 --> 00:33:02,960
not the feeling of being stabbed
that you would think.

611
00:33:03,280 --> 00:33:05,880
Okay.
And so the next time you wake

612
00:33:05,880 --> 00:33:08,800
up, because at this point we're
looking at blood loss now,

613
00:33:09,280 --> 00:33:11,040
right.
And so you, I mean you were a

614
00:33:11,080 --> 00:33:14,480
pretty small 18 year old girl at
the time.

615
00:33:14,480 --> 00:33:19,080
So you pass out and you wake up
in the hospital, right?

616
00:33:19,080 --> 00:33:22,920
So actually I yeah, I'm, I'm on
Judy's couch.

617
00:33:22,920 --> 00:33:25,720
And I actually remember telling
her I just want to get in the

618
00:33:25,720 --> 00:33:28,440
bath because I don't think I
realized again.

619
00:33:28,440 --> 00:33:30,200
Like, I I don't really know
what's happened.

620
00:33:30,200 --> 00:33:32,600
I'm just in pain and I want to
be in the bath and the warm

621
00:33:32,600 --> 00:33:35,000
water to soothe me.
And she's like, I don't know if

622
00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:37,400
that's a good idea, but she
takes me to the bath and I run

623
00:33:37,400 --> 00:33:39,640
the water and I'm like, I just
want to be in the bath, which is

624
00:33:39,640 --> 00:33:42,640
terrible if you, if you have a
open bleeding wound, do not get

625
00:33:42,640 --> 00:33:45,560
into water because you were
going to lose more blood that

626
00:33:45,560 --> 00:33:47,850
way.
And I didn't.

627
00:33:47,890 --> 00:33:49,970
I didn't know that.
I again, I don't think I even

628
00:33:49,970 --> 00:33:53,090
realized what had happened.
And I I'm in the bath and Judy's

629
00:33:53,090 --> 00:33:56,730
on the phone with 911 because my
neighbors had called 911

630
00:33:56,730 --> 00:33:58,810
already.
But they were trying to.

631
00:33:59,010 --> 00:34:00,530
I don't know.
I don't know what exactly

632
00:34:00,530 --> 00:34:02,890
happened.
Where we're waiting for the the

633
00:34:03,090 --> 00:34:05,930
first call is.
Probably, oh, this is domestic

634
00:34:05,930 --> 00:34:07,930
disturbance.
A couple doors down.

635
00:34:08,250 --> 00:34:10,010
They're like, oh, we'll send
somebody out.

636
00:34:10,050 --> 00:34:13,290
The second call is this guy.
I saw this guy stabbing this

637
00:34:13,290 --> 00:34:15,300
girl.
Now here's a question.

638
00:34:15,300 --> 00:34:17,420
You're in Judy's house.
Where is Marlon?

639
00:34:17,500 --> 00:34:20,300
So that's a great question.
So Marlon is still in my dad's

640
00:34:20,300 --> 00:34:23,060
house.
And what happened was when my

641
00:34:23,060 --> 00:34:27,540
neighbor went back in to make
sure I was OK, Marlin again was

642
00:34:27,540 --> 00:34:30,659
trying to attack him.
And my neighbor is he's like a

643
00:34:30,659 --> 00:34:33,500
very large man, you know, he's
like 6-4.

644
00:34:33,820 --> 00:34:37,699
And Marlin was, you know,
Marlins only 5-10 hundred and 30

645
00:34:37,699 --> 00:34:41,900
pounds like a smaller guy.
And so my neighbor was able to

646
00:34:41,900 --> 00:34:43,820
basically pin him against the
wall.

647
00:34:44,060 --> 00:34:47,820
He banged Marlins hand up
against the wall until he

648
00:34:47,820 --> 00:34:50,659
dropped the knife.
And then my other neighbor who

649
00:34:50,659 --> 00:34:55,380
was a retired Marine, actually,
you know, came because everyone

650
00:34:55,380 --> 00:34:57,900
in the neighborhood is like
something is going on over at

651
00:34:57,900 --> 00:35:00,100
that house.
And so my my other neighbor who

652
00:35:00,100 --> 00:35:04,140
like I had babysat his kids and
stuff like we we had a, you

653
00:35:04,140 --> 00:35:06,340
know, pretty tight knit
community in that neighborhood.

654
00:35:06,860 --> 00:35:09,100
But they they came in to see
what was going on.

655
00:35:09,100 --> 00:35:13,180
And so my my two neighbors both
held Marlon down, waiting for

656
00:35:13,180 --> 00:35:15,980
the police to get there.
Wow, that's just good that you

657
00:35:15,980 --> 00:35:18,020
had them.
Yeah, absolutely.

658
00:35:18,100 --> 00:35:20,980
He probably would have chased
you to the next neighbor's house

659
00:35:21,300 --> 00:35:23,790
and tried to attack both of you.
Right.

660
00:35:23,790 --> 00:35:26,190
And so, yeah.
So I'm so grateful for them.

661
00:35:26,190 --> 00:35:28,910
Like, have they not come in like
that?

662
00:35:28,910 --> 00:35:32,270
You know, because the the only
reason I'm alive today has

663
00:35:32,270 --> 00:35:36,070
nothing to do with Marlon.
It has nothing to do with him

664
00:35:36,070 --> 00:35:39,230
showing me mercy, you know, has
nothing to do with him, you

665
00:35:39,230 --> 00:35:41,390
know, deciding in the moment.
Wait, What I'm doing is wrong.

666
00:35:41,390 --> 00:35:44,510
And I need to get her help.
He he never would have stopped,

667
00:35:44,710 --> 00:35:46,910
you know?
So it's no thanks to him that

668
00:35:46,910 --> 00:35:49,070
I'm alive.
It's all thanks to my dog,

669
00:35:49,070 --> 00:35:52,490
Trixie and my neighbors.
Their names are Tim and John and

670
00:35:52,490 --> 00:35:56,450
they came and rescued me, yeah.
Big ups to Tim and John because

671
00:35:56,810 --> 00:35:58,250
sounds awful.
Yeah.

672
00:35:58,770 --> 00:36:00,770
And.
And I know that it definitely

673
00:36:00,770 --> 00:36:03,050
deeply affected them.
You know for.

674
00:36:03,370 --> 00:36:04,930
Yeah.
Well I just thought Tim the

675
00:36:04,930 --> 00:36:07,970
other day my dad still lives in
that house and Tim still lives

676
00:36:07,970 --> 00:36:10,050
right next door and he got to
see my.

677
00:36:10,090 --> 00:36:12,690
I brought my son over and so
yeah.

678
00:36:12,690 --> 00:36:16,450
He got to see him and yeah.
So we still, we still see each

679
00:36:16,450 --> 00:36:19,170
other every now and then when I
go, you know, visit my dad.

680
00:36:19,170 --> 00:36:22,780
But yeah, definitely deeply
affected them because I couldn't

681
00:36:22,780 --> 00:36:25,780
even imagine, like I don't even
have, you know, memory of what

682
00:36:25,780 --> 00:36:27,220
happened.
But for them, they do.

683
00:36:27,940 --> 00:36:31,220
Oh, yeah, that's it's intense
and a little bit scary.

684
00:36:31,860 --> 00:36:34,980
Yeah, absolutely.
And So what ended up happening

685
00:36:34,980 --> 00:36:39,540
was, yeah, I get to the
hospital, they, I mean, a lot of

686
00:36:39,540 --> 00:36:40,980
pain.
They gave me medicine and the

687
00:36:40,980 --> 00:36:45,420
ambulance, but I I get to the
hospital and they need to put me

688
00:36:45,420 --> 00:36:48,620
in for an MRI.
So I have, like, a vague memory

689
00:36:48,620 --> 00:36:52,740
of being in the MRI machine.
And then they tell me that they

690
00:36:52,740 --> 00:36:55,900
need to go in and do surgery
because my lung is collapsed.

691
00:36:57,220 --> 00:36:59,740
Wow.
So yeah, he stabbed me twice in

692
00:36:59,740 --> 00:37:04,260
my abdomen on the front, and one
of those stabs hit my lung,

693
00:37:04,540 --> 00:37:07,580
punctured it, and it collapsed.
And so they needed to do that.

694
00:37:07,580 --> 00:37:12,060
And then they also saw like,
like air in like, my abdomen.

695
00:37:12,060 --> 00:37:14,900
And they needed to make sure
that, you know, nothing else

696
00:37:14,900 --> 00:37:18,300
was, you know, at risk.
And so they had to do what they

697
00:37:18,300 --> 00:37:21,380
call explorative surgery where
they just kind of open you up

698
00:37:21,380 --> 00:37:24,060
and they just go in to just take
a look and make sure everything

699
00:37:24,060 --> 00:37:25,140
was OK.
So they did.

700
00:37:25,300 --> 00:37:28,100
They'd put me under for surgery
and I remember being so excited

701
00:37:28,300 --> 00:37:30,740
that they were going to put me
under anesthesia because I was

702
00:37:30,740 --> 00:37:32,740
so excited to not be in pain
anymore.

703
00:37:32,780 --> 00:37:35,180
Yeah, But I mean, you're still
pregnant now, So there's also

704
00:37:35,180 --> 00:37:38,670
worry there, right?
Which I I did make sure to tell

705
00:37:38,670 --> 00:37:42,110
everyone that I was pregnant and
my parents knew by this point as

706
00:37:42,110 --> 00:37:44,230
well.
And so I was just, yeah.

707
00:37:44,390 --> 00:37:46,710
But I was so excited.
I was like, I I can't wait to be

708
00:37:46,710 --> 00:37:49,070
put under for surgery so I don't
have to be in this pain anymore.

709
00:37:49,550 --> 00:37:53,550
And so, yeah, so in total, he
stabbed me.

710
00:37:53,550 --> 00:37:59,900
About 13 * 17 if you count the
defensive wounds on my hand.

711
00:38:00,140 --> 00:38:02,300
My mom counts them.
I don't count them.

712
00:38:02,460 --> 00:38:03,980
Those are defensive wounds to
me.

713
00:38:04,620 --> 00:38:07,140
But yeah, you.
Still got stabbed in the hand,

714
00:38:07,660 --> 00:38:09,300
right?
Yeah, yeah, that's true.

715
00:38:09,300 --> 00:38:12,340
But, but yeah, so.
You said you have limited

716
00:38:12,340 --> 00:38:15,020
function in that hand now.
Yes I do.

717
00:38:15,020 --> 00:38:19,620
So he cut the tendons and nerves
in my two of my fingers, my

718
00:38:19,620 --> 00:38:22,500
middle finger and my ring finger
on my right hand, which is my

719
00:38:22,500 --> 00:38:26,550
dominant hand.
And it was that was the like

720
00:38:26,710 --> 00:38:30,950
longest standing injury that I
received from that, which is

721
00:38:30,950 --> 00:38:33,270
lucky you know that that's the
only thing because.

722
00:38:33,310 --> 00:38:36,350
Now you're, what, 25?
So yes.

723
00:38:36,590 --> 00:38:38,510
Yeah.
And so, yeah.

724
00:38:38,510 --> 00:38:41,350
So like, even, you know, my lung
being punctured has, like, not

725
00:38:41,350 --> 00:38:44,350
affected my life.
You know, they put a tube in my

726
00:38:44,350 --> 00:38:45,670
lung.
I was in the hospital for three

727
00:38:45,670 --> 00:38:48,910
days to monitor my lung and make
sure that it reinflated properly

728
00:38:48,910 --> 00:38:51,910
and everything was fine.
And yeah, and so I healed well.

729
00:38:51,910 --> 00:38:55,060
But other than that, yeah, my
hands I had to get.

730
00:38:55,180 --> 00:38:58,220
So what they did was they
stitched up my my wounds on my

731
00:38:58,220 --> 00:38:59,620
hand.
But they didn't fix anything

732
00:38:59,620 --> 00:39:02,180
because your hand is very
elaborate.

733
00:39:02,460 --> 00:39:05,540
And so they have to have
specialists who specialize in

734
00:39:05,540 --> 00:39:09,220
hand surgery go in.
So I had to schedule my surgery

735
00:39:09,220 --> 00:39:12,620
for, I want to say maybe two
weeks or something.

736
00:39:13,260 --> 00:39:14,220
Oh, geez.
After that.

737
00:39:14,220 --> 00:39:17,740
So I had to go into a specialist
and get my hand fixed.

738
00:39:18,120 --> 00:39:20,040
They had to go.
So now the scars that I have on

739
00:39:20,040 --> 00:39:23,400
my hands, on my fingers are not
even from the stab wounds, the

740
00:39:23,400 --> 00:39:26,040
scars that I have from the
surgery, because they had to go

741
00:39:26,040 --> 00:39:29,200
in and find my tendons and
nerves that had been severed

742
00:39:29,200 --> 00:39:31,360
because they roll, you know,
when you cut them, they roll.

743
00:39:31,600 --> 00:39:34,320
So they had to go find them and
then reattach them.

744
00:39:34,480 --> 00:39:36,800
And I did regain feeling in my
fingers.

745
00:39:36,800 --> 00:39:39,520
So I do have feeling it's maybe
a little bit more fuzzy compared

746
00:39:39,520 --> 00:39:41,640
to my other fingers, but for the
most part I have feeling.

747
00:39:41,640 --> 00:39:45,460
But I and I have, you know,
motion, but I don't have

748
00:39:45,460 --> 00:39:48,140
strength, so I'm not able to
bend my fingers all the way

749
00:39:48,140 --> 00:39:50,780
down.
It does cause me some pain when

750
00:39:50,780 --> 00:39:54,380
doing certain things, like doing
dishes, you know, and using a

751
00:39:54,380 --> 00:39:57,260
sponge to to do dishes.
It causes me some pain.

752
00:39:57,460 --> 00:40:00,700
But other than that, like that
is my only real, like

753
00:40:00,700 --> 00:40:03,940
longstanding injury from that.
So the other stab wounds that I

754
00:40:03,940 --> 00:40:09,220
sustained were three in my leg,
two in my arm, one in my neck,

755
00:40:10,100 --> 00:40:12,910
and then.
The rest were and then the two

756
00:40:13,030 --> 00:40:15,030
that were on the front of my
abdomen, the one that punctured

757
00:40:15,030 --> 00:40:17,350
my lung, and then the rest are
on my back.

758
00:40:18,390 --> 00:40:23,710
OK, yeah, I saw on TikTok the
you have a tattoo of a knife

759
00:40:23,710 --> 00:40:26,550
right near the one stab wound on
your leg.

760
00:40:26,950 --> 00:40:28,710
Yeah.
My best friend is a tattoo

761
00:40:28,710 --> 00:40:32,070
artist and she drew some knives
and posted them up on on

762
00:40:32,070 --> 00:40:33,550
Facebook.
Like, does anybody want to get,

763
00:40:33,790 --> 00:40:35,630
you know, a nice tattoo?
I just want to practice.

764
00:40:35,630 --> 00:40:38,830
And I was like, yeah, do you
want to do it on my my stab

765
00:40:38,830 --> 00:40:42,070
wounds?
And she told me, oh, you won't

766
00:40:42,070 --> 00:40:43,790
do it.
And I was like, bet I will do

767
00:40:43,790 --> 00:40:46,430
it.
And so I showed up and she did

768
00:40:46,430 --> 00:40:49,910
the the tongue and cheeks.
Yeah, it's it's I kind of have

769
00:40:49,910 --> 00:40:53,510
an affinity for a knives now and
I always compare it to the way

770
00:40:53,510 --> 00:40:56,350
Christians carry a cross for
Jesus.

771
00:40:57,070 --> 00:40:59,870
It's like, well, you know, I
didn't, I didn't die.

772
00:40:59,870 --> 00:41:03,430
But you know I have another
knife tattoo on my face.

773
00:41:04,110 --> 00:41:07,030
I You know my I.
Can't notice that one.

774
00:41:07,030 --> 00:41:08,910
I'm gonna have to go look at
your picture again.

775
00:41:09,400 --> 00:41:10,760
Yeah, it's like, right, It's on
the side.

776
00:41:10,760 --> 00:41:13,280
It's like on my sideburn.
So it's it's very like hidden.

777
00:41:13,520 --> 00:41:14,560
OK.
All right.

778
00:41:14,560 --> 00:41:19,440
So OK, we have surgery, you're
you're in hospital for a couple

779
00:41:19,440 --> 00:41:22,280
days.
Where's Marlon and all of this?

780
00:41:22,840 --> 00:41:26,440
So they brought Marlon to the
same hospital because he had

781
00:41:26,440 --> 00:41:29,200
stabbed himself in the leg.
Yeah.

782
00:41:29,200 --> 00:41:31,920
He begun stabbing himself and he
stabbed himself in the leg.

783
00:41:31,920 --> 00:41:34,720
And so they needed to take him.
And they also needed to take him

784
00:41:34,720 --> 00:41:38,320
for like blood testing for
drugs.

785
00:41:38,360 --> 00:41:44,080
And so he they took it in.
And my sister was at my mom's

786
00:41:44,080 --> 00:41:46,560
house.
So this is part of like, just

787
00:41:46,560 --> 00:41:50,000
to, you know, side note, part of
the miracle that allowed me to

788
00:41:50,000 --> 00:41:53,440
be alive today is that my dog
was at my dad's house even

789
00:41:53,440 --> 00:41:55,360
though my sister was at my mom's
house.

790
00:41:55,960 --> 00:41:59,400
And my sister always wherever
she was, that's where the dog

791
00:41:59,400 --> 00:42:01,320
was.
But for whatever.

792
00:42:01,320 --> 00:42:04,280
Reason the one time, the one
time that she leaves the dog at

793
00:42:04,280 --> 00:42:06,430
my dad's house.
You needed her.

794
00:42:06,630 --> 00:42:09,270
I needed her to be there.
And so, you know, that's just

795
00:42:09,270 --> 00:42:12,390
part of that, like, miracle of
everything coming together to,

796
00:42:12,590 --> 00:42:14,790
you know, allow me to survive
this moment.

797
00:42:14,790 --> 00:42:18,510
And so my sister is at my my
mom's house and my mom's husband

798
00:42:18,710 --> 00:42:20,630
wakes her up and it's like, hey,
I need to drive you to the

799
00:42:20,630 --> 00:42:22,230
hospital.
Sadie got hurt.

800
00:42:22,670 --> 00:42:26,630
And, you know, he takes her and
meet, you know, she meets my mom

801
00:42:26,630 --> 00:42:27,990
there.
So my mom and my sister are

802
00:42:27,990 --> 00:42:33,030
walking through the hospital
back to my room and they hear

803
00:42:33,030 --> 00:42:36,350
something that they all they my
sister says she almost thought

804
00:42:36,350 --> 00:42:40,710
it was like a machine because of
the way that like high pitched

805
00:42:40,910 --> 00:42:44,950
way it sounded, but it was
actually Marlon screaming.

806
00:42:45,150 --> 00:42:47,990
Oh my goodness.
So he was screaming so high

807
00:42:47,990 --> 00:42:51,430
pitched, so loud that yeah, like
my sister, they were like, what

808
00:42:51,470 --> 00:42:53,190
is that?
And then they realized it was

809
00:42:53,190 --> 00:42:55,190
him.
So he's just screaming at the

810
00:42:55,190 --> 00:42:59,230
top of his lungs.
And yeah, so they, they had to,

811
00:42:59,960 --> 00:43:01,400
you know, stitch him up, do
blood work.

812
00:43:01,440 --> 00:43:04,840
And then they took him to the
police, arrested him and took

813
00:43:04,840 --> 00:43:07,360
him to the hospital.
Or took him to the jail, not the

814
00:43:07,360 --> 00:43:08,960
hospital.
I gotcha.

815
00:43:09,440 --> 00:43:11,800
OK.
And you talked to them about the

816
00:43:11,800 --> 00:43:12,640
night?
Yeah.

817
00:43:12,640 --> 00:43:16,000
So the detective actually
questioned me in the emergency

818
00:43:16,000 --> 00:43:18,000
room.
Just asking me, you know.

819
00:43:18,080 --> 00:43:22,270
So actually, when I was being
loaded into the ambulance, my

820
00:43:22,270 --> 00:43:25,030
dad, my, my neighbors had called
my dad and he had rushed home

821
00:43:25,030 --> 00:43:27,390
from work.
And that's the first time my dad

822
00:43:27,390 --> 00:43:29,390
saw me was I'm being loaded into
the ambulance.

823
00:43:29,390 --> 00:43:32,550
And my dad asks me, he's like,
Sadie, who did this to you?

824
00:43:32,950 --> 00:43:34,670
And I told him, it's Marlon,
It's Marlon.

825
00:43:34,670 --> 00:43:38,030
And my dad actually tried to get
into the ambulance, that Marlon

826
00:43:38,030 --> 00:43:42,270
was being loaded into the
paramedics, the paramedics and

827
00:43:42,270 --> 00:43:45,670
the cops had to hold him back.
That's right.

828
00:43:45,710 --> 00:43:47,390
Yeah.
So my, you know, my dad was

829
00:43:47,390 --> 00:43:49,190
about to take matters into.
Understand.

830
00:43:49,790 --> 00:43:52,760
I understand Dad in the moment,
absolutely.

831
00:43:52,760 --> 00:43:54,800
And so.
He's like, I never liked this

832
00:43:54,800 --> 00:43:57,760
guy anyway.
And This is why, right?

833
00:43:57,760 --> 00:44:00,200
He's like, I knew the whole time
this guy was bad news.

834
00:44:00,480 --> 00:44:03,440
And so, yeah, he was about to
take matters into his own hands,

835
00:44:03,440 --> 00:44:07,880
but he was, he was stopped.
And and so, you know, in the

836
00:44:07,880 --> 00:44:10,880
emergency room, I told the
detective like, it was Marlon.

837
00:44:10,880 --> 00:44:14,720
Marlon did it.
And he had taken like a picture

838
00:44:14,720 --> 00:44:20,600
from Marlon's, his ID, and
showed it to me, you know, they

839
00:44:20,600 --> 00:44:22,000
scanned it, whatever.
He showed it to me.

840
00:44:22,200 --> 00:44:24,320
And he said, is this Marlin?
And I said, yeah, that's him.

841
00:44:24,600 --> 00:44:28,360
And and then I told him that
story of we got into a fight in

842
00:44:28,360 --> 00:44:30,680
the hallway.
I hit him or he hit me.

843
00:44:30,800 --> 00:44:32,800
I hit him back.
He hit me back harder.

844
00:44:32,800 --> 00:44:35,210
So I stopped hitting him.
And that's what I told the

845
00:44:35,210 --> 00:44:37,890
detective at the time because
I'd forgotten what had happened.

846
00:44:37,890 --> 00:44:39,210
And that's the only memory I
had.

847
00:44:39,210 --> 00:44:42,050
And now looking back, I don't
have that memory anymore.

848
00:44:42,530 --> 00:44:45,650
And so, yeah, so they didn't
really know what had happened.

849
00:44:45,930 --> 00:44:49,650
And until I I came to and I
started, you know, kind of

850
00:44:49,650 --> 00:44:52,130
telling my family and my
neighbors, who all rescued me,

851
00:44:52,130 --> 00:44:54,610
and they all came to see me in
the hospital and they were

852
00:44:54,610 --> 00:44:57,530
telling me their sides of, like,
what was going on.

853
00:44:57,530 --> 00:45:00,370
And I told them, you know what?
I, because I woke up and I

854
00:45:00,370 --> 00:45:03,530
remembered everything.
And so my family was like,

855
00:45:03,990 --> 00:45:05,310
that's not what you told the
detective.

856
00:45:05,910 --> 00:45:09,150
And I was like, what did I tell
the the detective I remember.

857
00:45:09,390 --> 00:45:11,910
What I was thinking of at that
time, right.

858
00:45:11,910 --> 00:45:16,030
And so, and so then I did end up
having a meeting with like the

859
00:45:16,030 --> 00:45:18,910
district attorneys because in
the state of Colorado with

860
00:45:18,910 --> 00:45:22,710
domestic violence cases, the
state always takes over because

861
00:45:22,710 --> 00:45:27,070
what happened too often is, you
know, men would beat their

862
00:45:27,070 --> 00:45:29,550
wives.
The wives would not report it,

863
00:45:29,590 --> 00:45:32,510
they would not press charges.
Even if it did get reported or

864
00:45:32,510 --> 00:45:34,270
the cops got called, they
wouldn't press charges.

865
00:45:34,310 --> 00:45:36,630
And then those men would end up
killing their wives.

866
00:45:36,910 --> 00:45:39,670
And so now in the state of
Colorado, any domestic violence

867
00:45:39,670 --> 00:45:42,070
case, the state takes over and
presses charges.

868
00:45:42,390 --> 00:45:44,790
So I wasn't even the one to
press charges against him.

869
00:45:44,790 --> 00:45:47,350
It was the district attorneys.
Right and so.

870
00:45:47,510 --> 00:45:50,030
The things that I got into
arguments with people about last

871
00:45:50,030 --> 00:45:53,070
year in regards to the situation
with, you know, Mega Stallion

872
00:45:53,070 --> 00:45:57,070
getting shot by her then
boyfriend that I was like, she's

873
00:45:57,070 --> 00:46:00,310
not the one taking him to court.
Y'all this is the state.

874
00:46:01,080 --> 00:46:03,320
Yeah, out of her control at this
point.

875
00:46:03,320 --> 00:46:05,960
It's not her fault.
I mean, also, to be fair, she's

876
00:46:05,960 --> 00:46:09,280
the one who got shot.
Why are we mad at her?

877
00:46:10,080 --> 00:46:13,440
Well, and it happens often.
And I had a lot of people giving

878
00:46:13,680 --> 00:46:19,400
me grief after this happened.
And so after this happened in

879
00:46:19,400 --> 00:46:22,860
the hospital, I remember they
have separate workers who

880
00:46:23,020 --> 00:46:26,300
they're not, you know,
necessarily like nurses or

881
00:46:26,300 --> 00:46:29,740
doctors, but they what their job
in the hospital is to just wheel

882
00:46:29,740 --> 00:46:31,580
patients from room to room.
OK.

883
00:46:32,140 --> 00:46:36,580
And I remember the, the guy who
was Wheeling me, you know, was

884
00:46:36,580 --> 00:46:38,260
like, oh, no, like, what
happened?

885
00:46:38,260 --> 00:46:39,540
Ask it because I looked
terrible.

886
00:46:40,340 --> 00:46:42,700
Yeah, I saw one of.
Those pictures you posted on

887
00:46:43,460 --> 00:46:47,840
TikTok, Yeah, my face was
completely swollen, my lips were

888
00:46:47,840 --> 00:46:51,000
completely swollen.
I had black eyes and you know,

889
00:46:51,000 --> 00:46:56,280
my blood vessel had burst in one
of my eyes and and then

890
00:46:56,280 --> 00:46:58,520
obviously I had stitches and
staples all over me.

891
00:46:58,600 --> 00:47:01,680
My hands were bandaged, bandaged
up because again, they didn't

892
00:47:01,680 --> 00:47:04,440
want to go in and do anything
yet until I was able to see a

893
00:47:04,440 --> 00:47:06,280
hand specialist.
So they just bandaged me up so I

894
00:47:06,280 --> 00:47:07,760
wouldn't move my fingers too
much.

895
00:47:08,560 --> 00:47:11,200
So I looked terrible and I
remember the guy asking me, you

896
00:47:11,200 --> 00:47:13,040
know, what happened?
I was like, oh, my boyfriend

897
00:47:13,040 --> 00:47:16,350
tried to kill me.
And he goes, oh, I hope he's

898
00:47:16,350 --> 00:47:18,510
your ex-boyfriend now.
And I go, yeah, he's he's going

899
00:47:18,510 --> 00:47:21,110
to be my ex-boyfriend now.
But.

900
00:47:21,710 --> 00:47:24,190
And so in in the hospital for
the three days I was there, I

901
00:47:24,190 --> 00:47:27,470
was like, that's my ex now,
until I got out of the hospital

902
00:47:27,470 --> 00:47:30,870
and I started thinking, I don't
want to have this baby alone.

903
00:47:30,910 --> 00:47:33,430
I'm a teenager.
It wasn't his fault.

904
00:47:33,430 --> 00:47:35,830
I start making excuses for him.
It wasn't his fault.

905
00:47:36,070 --> 00:47:38,750
He was on drugs.
It was an accident, you know.

906
00:47:38,750 --> 00:47:41,470
And so after that, I decided
that I was going to stay with

907
00:47:41,470 --> 00:47:44,280
him and try to make it work, you
know, And there's so much

908
00:47:44,280 --> 00:47:46,800
pressure, I think too, because
because I was a teen parent and

909
00:47:46,800 --> 00:47:50,880
I wanted to prove society wrong.
I'm not a statistic, you know,

910
00:47:50,880 --> 00:47:52,720
I'm not going to be a single
mother just because I'm a teen

911
00:47:52,720 --> 00:47:54,440
parent.
You know, I'm going to make this

912
00:47:54,440 --> 00:47:56,200
work and we're going to have a
happy life and we're going to

913
00:47:56,200 --> 00:47:59,000
get married and, you know, and
so I just kind of had this

914
00:47:59,120 --> 00:48:02,280
pressure that I felt to like,
make the, especially because he

915
00:48:02,280 --> 00:48:07,440
was somebody who was not well
liked by people in our age

916
00:48:07,440 --> 00:48:10,630
group.
He had, you know, he had a lot

917
00:48:10,630 --> 00:48:13,030
of people who liked him and then
a lot of people who didn't like

918
00:48:13,030 --> 00:48:15,830
him.
And I wanted to prove the people

919
00:48:15,830 --> 00:48:18,550
who didn't like him wrong.
You know, I made a good choice

920
00:48:18,550 --> 00:48:20,390
in dating him.
I made a good choice of deciding

921
00:48:20,390 --> 00:48:23,270
to have a baby with him.
So I just wanted to prove those

922
00:48:23,270 --> 00:48:25,830
decisions that I made, right.
So I decided I was going to stay

923
00:48:25,830 --> 00:48:27,590
with him.
And so that caused a lot of

924
00:48:27,590 --> 00:48:30,950
backlash for me where people
were telling me, Sadie, you're

925
00:48:30,950 --> 00:48:34,190
being too positive about this,
Sadie, you are, you know, you're

926
00:48:34,190 --> 00:48:36,510
delusional.
I haven't had random people off

927
00:48:36,510 --> 00:48:38,630
of Facebook which I never found
out who this was.

928
00:48:38,630 --> 00:48:42,520
But one profile in particular
with what was probably a fake

929
00:48:42,520 --> 00:48:46,000
picture and a fake name telling
me that this was all my fault,

930
00:48:46,000 --> 00:48:49,960
that Marlin was in jail.
If you know if if I, you know,

931
00:48:50,000 --> 00:48:52,200
loved him, I wouldn't be
pressing charges and that's when

932
00:48:52,200 --> 00:48:54,000
I tried to explain it's not me
pressing charges.

933
00:48:54,000 --> 00:48:58,480
It's the it's the state.
And and even when, as far as to

934
00:48:58,480 --> 00:49:03,990
calling me names such as a cum
dumpster, yeah, so like things

935
00:49:03,990 --> 00:49:05,510
like that.
To the point where I had to

936
00:49:05,550 --> 00:49:09,350
deactivate my social media for
probably a couple months because

937
00:49:09,350 --> 00:49:11,590
I couldn't stand to look at it.
Wow.

938
00:49:12,030 --> 00:49:14,590
Yeah, that's.
And you gotta wonder who is that

939
00:49:14,590 --> 00:49:20,270
person who hears my friend
nearly killed a woman and goes.

940
00:49:20,830 --> 00:49:24,910
Obviously he did nothing wrong
and there's still people that

941
00:49:24,910 --> 00:49:27,110
feel that way.
You know, all these years later,

942
00:49:27,150 --> 00:49:32,060
he still has supporters who
think that he's done.

943
00:49:32,060 --> 00:49:34,540
You know, it was an accident, He
was on drugs.

944
00:49:34,540 --> 00:49:37,300
He's done nothing wrong.
Yeah, but you know what though?

945
00:49:37,300 --> 00:49:40,540
I'm not really a person who does
a whole lot in regards to, like,

946
00:49:40,540 --> 00:49:44,060
drugs or things of that nature.
I I grew up with attorney

947
00:49:44,060 --> 00:49:45,780
parents and I was a singer
growing up.

948
00:49:46,060 --> 00:49:48,700
So in my head I was like, we're
not gonna do anything to destroy

949
00:49:48,700 --> 00:49:50,820
my voice.
And also nothing that's gonna

950
00:49:50,820 --> 00:49:53,420
make my mom or dad upset with
me.

951
00:49:53,900 --> 00:49:55,700
Sure.
I hung out with people who did

952
00:49:55,700 --> 00:49:57,620
things and I have been around
people.

953
00:49:57,970 --> 00:50:01,930
On acid.
And I can I have never in my

954
00:50:01,930 --> 00:50:06,570
life seen anyone even get
violent on that drug, let alone

955
00:50:06,850 --> 00:50:11,290
go as far as Marlon went.
So I don't know what was going

956
00:50:11,290 --> 00:50:13,970
on in his head that day.
But that's not, that's not the

957
00:50:13,970 --> 00:50:16,200
norm.
And and I agree.

958
00:50:16,200 --> 00:50:18,960
And at the time, you know, like
I said I was, I was making those

959
00:50:19,000 --> 00:50:24,880
same excuses for him and he had
me very much under his thumb.

960
00:50:25,200 --> 00:50:27,480
You know, it was in that
relationship.

961
00:50:27,480 --> 00:50:31,240
It was what Marlon wants we do,
you know, like I just felt very

962
00:50:32,400 --> 00:50:36,320
and you know what I I felt low
self esteem at the time and I

963
00:50:36,320 --> 00:50:39,760
felt like he was better than me.
And I think that's where it came

964
00:50:39,760 --> 00:50:41,740
from.
Now this.

965
00:50:41,740 --> 00:50:45,020
This didn't seem like it was an
abusive relationship before that

966
00:50:45,020 --> 00:50:46,940
night.
Not physically, ever, no.

967
00:50:47,340 --> 00:50:49,580
OK.
But you do feel like there were,

968
00:50:49,580 --> 00:50:52,060
there were some things that he
was doing that?

969
00:50:52,420 --> 00:50:55,260
Were abusive in terms of
emotional abuse before them,

970
00:50:55,940 --> 00:50:58,420
yes.
So not really too much like

971
00:50:58,420 --> 00:51:00,740
verbal abuse.
Like he never really yelled at

972
00:51:00,740 --> 00:51:04,060
me.
He did call me names, but it was

973
00:51:04,060 --> 00:51:08,060
a lot of like emotional abuse,
emotional manipulation.

974
00:51:08,180 --> 00:51:10,660
He was very skilled at it.
He was very skilled.

975
00:51:10,660 --> 00:51:14,620
He even he had a lot of people
fooled and still does.

976
00:51:15,020 --> 00:51:17,140
But he, you know, he was very
skilled.

977
00:51:17,140 --> 00:51:20,260
I always, you know, referred to
him as the masterful manipulator

978
00:51:21,320 --> 00:51:24,680
and he just really, you know,
had me, like I said, under his

979
00:51:24,680 --> 00:51:27,000
thumb.
And it was.

980
00:51:27,080 --> 00:51:29,800
It was impressive, honestly, the
way that he was able to just

981
00:51:29,800 --> 00:51:32,440
kind of control me.
So this is now in the hands of

982
00:51:32,440 --> 00:51:35,800
the court and they are going to
prosecute.

983
00:51:35,880 --> 00:51:40,600
It goes to court.
And he said Marlon got 13 years,

984
00:51:40,600 --> 00:51:44,120
but it was weird.
He didn't exactly get charged

985
00:51:44,120 --> 00:51:49,080
with what he did, right?
So the way these cases work is

986
00:51:49,080 --> 00:51:53,770
they offer a plea deal which
basically says if you just, you

987
00:51:53,770 --> 00:51:57,250
know, you know, plead guilty,
we're going to give you this

988
00:51:57,250 --> 00:52:01,490
sentence instead of, you know,
risking going to trial getting

989
00:52:01,490 --> 00:52:03,890
found guilty, right.
Exactly.

990
00:52:03,890 --> 00:52:05,970
And he actually had two
attempted murder charges, one

991
00:52:05,970 --> 00:52:08,770
for me and one for my neighbor
that he tried to attack as well.

992
00:52:08,770 --> 00:52:11,850
So the charges that he were
arrested on were two attempted

993
00:52:11,850 --> 00:52:15,250
murder charges, menacing a
deadly weapon, three different

994
00:52:15,250 --> 00:52:20,170
assault charges, one for
strangulation and attempted

995
00:52:20,170 --> 00:52:23,730
sexual assault, 2 attempted
sexual assault charges,

996
00:52:24,810 --> 00:52:26,330
obstruction of telephone
service.

997
00:52:26,330 --> 00:52:29,290
Because when I had called my
friends for help, he had thrown

998
00:52:29,290 --> 00:52:34,050
my phone to the floor and the
last one was kidnapping because

999
00:52:34,050 --> 00:52:36,450
after I tried to leave the
house, he pulled me back in and

1000
00:52:36,450 --> 00:52:39,330
that's kidnapping.
And so those were the charges he

1001
00:52:39,330 --> 00:52:42,370
was originally arrested on,
which would have, you know, had

1002
00:52:42,370 --> 00:52:45,850
he been found guilty of those
charges, he would have gotten a

1003
00:52:45,850 --> 00:52:48,970
sentence of he was looking at
probably 30 years.

1004
00:52:50,810 --> 00:52:52,290
But they offered him a plea
deal.

1005
00:52:52,810 --> 00:52:54,810
He originally, he wanted to go
to trial.

1006
00:52:55,570 --> 00:52:57,410
He wanted to to be found not
guilty.

1007
00:52:57,410 --> 00:52:59,810
He wanted to get off.
You know, he he wanted to go to

1008
00:52:59,810 --> 00:53:02,250
trial and just explain, hey, I
was on drugs.

1009
00:53:02,930 --> 00:53:06,170
It was an accident.
And we even got like he, I went

1010
00:53:06,170 --> 00:53:09,890
and found people that were in
our friend groups and mentors of

1011
00:53:09,890 --> 00:53:12,050
our teachers and things like
that and asked them to write

1012
00:53:12,050 --> 00:53:17,110
character references for him.
Yeah, so it was, it was bad and

1013
00:53:17,390 --> 00:53:21,150
and like looking back it, it
makes me worried about the

1014
00:53:21,150 --> 00:53:23,910
things that I did to try to get
him out of that situation, you

1015
00:53:23,910 --> 00:53:26,710
know, begging with the district
attorneys, you know, things like

1016
00:53:26,710 --> 00:53:28,510
that.
Like I really did not want him

1017
00:53:28,510 --> 00:53:30,510
to go to jail.
I wanted him to be a father to

1018
00:53:30,510 --> 00:53:36,030
my my child and I.
Think I mean, people who work in

1019
00:53:36,030 --> 00:53:38,310
this field specifically with
domestic violence, they also

1020
00:53:38,310 --> 00:53:42,530
understand that.
It's it's weird.

1021
00:53:43,290 --> 00:53:46,810
I I, in hindsight, I look back
in my own situation and go I was

1022
00:53:46,810 --> 00:53:48,770
in a relationship for a total of
eight years.

1023
00:53:48,850 --> 00:53:52,170
Half of that time I was
positively miserable.

1024
00:53:52,450 --> 00:53:57,610
Why did I never just stop?
Right, Right.

1025
00:53:57,650 --> 00:54:03,090
And the analogy that I've heard
used is if you put a frog into

1026
00:54:03,090 --> 00:54:04,690
boiling hot water, they jump
right out.

1027
00:54:05,130 --> 00:54:08,810
Right, if you put a frog into
cold water and turn.

1028
00:54:09,490 --> 00:54:12,920
The temperature up, Yes, they
stay because they don't notice

1029
00:54:12,920 --> 00:54:14,160
that they're being boiled alive.
That's.

1030
00:54:15,000 --> 00:54:18,240
Probably a perfectly accurate
explanation and you get back at

1031
00:54:18,280 --> 00:54:19,280
yourself.
And you?

1032
00:54:19,400 --> 00:54:22,120
You're like what?
I I was an idiot.

1033
00:54:22,160 --> 00:54:25,520
Why did I do this right?
Yeah, exactly.

1034
00:54:26,080 --> 00:54:27,880
Yeah.
I look back and I I well and I

1035
00:54:27,960 --> 00:54:30,880
and I have empathy for my past
self and I understand like what

1036
00:54:30,880 --> 00:54:34,260
she was going through, you know,
being a team parent, not wanting

1037
00:54:34,260 --> 00:54:36,740
to parent by herself and and
things like that.

1038
00:54:36,740 --> 00:54:40,500
But it doesn't concern me for
the future going forward because

1039
00:54:40,500 --> 00:54:45,340
the plea deal that he ended up
taking was it was a broad range

1040
00:54:45,380 --> 00:54:48,100
of of of years that he would be
sentenced.

1041
00:54:48,380 --> 00:54:51,460
And basically they just had to
take it to court to have the

1042
00:54:51,460 --> 00:54:55,940
judge say how many years out of
this range that both the public

1043
00:54:55,940 --> 00:54:57,740
defender and district attorneys
agreed to.

1044
00:54:58,330 --> 00:55:02,170
So the range was, oh gosh, I
don't even remember.

1045
00:55:14,770 --> 00:55:17,360
My goodness, yes, before this
actually happened.

1046
00:55:02,170 --> 00:55:05,930
It was like you told me it was
three years to like 26 years or

1047
00:55:05,930 --> 00:55:09,370
something like that.
And so I was hoping that he was

1048
00:55:09,370 --> 00:55:11,730
only gonna get because by the
time this actually happened, he

1049
00:55:11,730 --> 00:55:14,290
had been in jail for nearly two
years.

1050
00:55:17,360 --> 00:55:19,440
Because you know people will see
it in the movies.

1051
00:55:19,760 --> 00:55:21,520
Right.
You know, and they see like

1052
00:55:21,760 --> 00:55:24,680
victims on trial in the movies
and they're still all bruised.

1053
00:55:24,680 --> 00:55:26,080
But you know what happens that
way?

1054
00:55:26,480 --> 00:55:30,480
I think I'm going to blame it on
law and order SVU because every

1055
00:55:30,480 --> 00:55:34,480
single episode the trial gets
handled and what you don't

1056
00:55:34,480 --> 00:55:37,680
realize is that in between every
time they go to court, it's

1057
00:55:37,680 --> 00:55:41,560
months and months.
I remember talking to the the

1058
00:55:41,560 --> 00:55:44,400
people at 2020 about the Gabby
Petito trial.

1059
00:55:44,800 --> 00:55:47,480
And they were like, they didn't
use this in the documentary, but

1060
00:55:47,480 --> 00:55:50,160
I was just like, I think it's
it's wonderful that so many

1061
00:55:50,160 --> 00:55:54,240
people online care, but they are
going to be hurt when they

1062
00:55:54,240 --> 00:55:57,400
realize that this is not going
to end the way they want, right?

1063
00:55:57,400 --> 00:55:59,480
It's not like the movies, and it
didn't.

1064
00:55:59,840 --> 00:56:02,560
It didn't.
In that case, that guy killed

1065
00:56:02,560 --> 00:56:03,880
himself so he could avoid,
right?

1066
00:56:04,400 --> 00:56:06,400
Which is?
Consequences of his actions.

1067
00:56:06,400 --> 00:56:08,480
Yeah, yeah.
What absolute coward.

1068
00:56:09,770 --> 00:56:11,450
So yeah, so I was like, but I
was like this isn't going to end

1069
00:56:11,450 --> 00:56:13,330
the way people want.
They think it's going to be a

1070
00:56:13,370 --> 00:56:16,330
oh, we we found him.
We found her.

1071
00:56:16,330 --> 00:56:17,770
Everything's going to go to
trial.

1072
00:56:17,770 --> 00:56:22,250
We'll all get justice and
unfortunately all too often no

1073
00:56:22,250 --> 00:56:25,690
justice happens or or it's it's
limited justice.

1074
00:56:26,130 --> 00:56:29,290
But you said he's eligible for
parole next year.

1075
00:56:29,750 --> 00:56:31,790
Yes.
So he was sentenced to 13 years

1076
00:56:31,790 --> 00:56:34,630
total.
He's eligible for parole next

1077
00:56:34,630 --> 00:56:37,270
year because those two years
were time served.

1078
00:56:37,270 --> 00:56:39,110
The two years that he was
waiting for his sentence, his

1079
00:56:39,110 --> 00:56:40,310
time served.
Right.

1080
00:56:40,430 --> 00:56:44,830
And so, yeah, So next year in
2024, he's eligible for parole.

1081
00:56:44,830 --> 00:56:50,150
And I, I 100% plan on attending
all of his parole hearings.

1082
00:56:51,110 --> 00:56:53,110
And just because he's eligible
doesn't mean he's going to get

1083
00:56:53,110 --> 00:56:54,590
in front of a parole board right
away.

1084
00:56:54,830 --> 00:56:58,100
It could be months before he
gets in front of a parole board.

1085
00:56:58,300 --> 00:57:00,820
But it doesn't matter when you
show up, right?

1086
00:57:00,820 --> 00:57:03,740
And so I'm going to show up and
I'm going to to tell them he

1087
00:57:03,740 --> 00:57:07,780
actually have filed for a
pardon.

1088
00:57:07,780 --> 00:57:10,020
I believe it was.
Really.

1089
00:57:10,260 --> 00:57:10,980
Yeah.
From.

1090
00:57:11,020 --> 00:57:14,620
And I got an e-mail from the
victim services telling me and

1091
00:57:14,620 --> 00:57:17,540
they asked me if I wanted to
write a statement for this case

1092
00:57:17,540 --> 00:57:21,100
and I wrote a long statement
explaining what had happened and

1093
00:57:21,100 --> 00:57:22,980
he was denied.
Good.

1094
00:57:23,020 --> 00:57:25,100
Yeah, A minimum.
He needs to stay in for his

1095
00:57:25,100 --> 00:57:27,900
minimum amount of time.
I wish it was actually longer

1096
00:57:27,900 --> 00:57:31,540
because, I mean, it's not like
he's going to if he's going, oh,

1097
00:57:31,540 --> 00:57:34,180
I was just drunk.
Or I was, oh, I was just high.

1098
00:57:34,500 --> 00:57:37,300
Are you committed to never using
drugs for the rest of your life,

1099
00:57:37,300 --> 00:57:38,740
dude?
Probably not.

1100
00:57:39,260 --> 00:57:42,500
So you're going to just be high
the next time you do something

1101
00:57:42,500 --> 00:57:45,820
and hurt somebody.
And and I just don't think that

1102
00:57:45,820 --> 00:57:50,170
intentions matter because I
think across the board, we all

1103
00:57:50,170 --> 00:57:52,730
have good intentions.
We all think we're doing the

1104
00:57:52,730 --> 00:57:55,450
right thing.
And I don't think that that

1105
00:57:55,450 --> 00:57:57,850
matters.
I think what matters is how you

1106
00:57:57,850 --> 00:58:01,010
affect people, the outcome of
your actions, your impact.

1107
00:58:01,010 --> 00:58:02,970
Exactly.
And so like I always compare it

1108
00:58:03,010 --> 00:58:05,770
to Thanos from the Marvel
Universe.

1109
00:58:06,130 --> 00:58:07,690
Thanos thinks he's doing the
right thing.

1110
00:58:07,690 --> 00:58:10,970
He thinks that he's helping by
wiping out half of all life

1111
00:58:10,970 --> 00:58:13,490
because it's going to be more
resources for the ones left.

1112
00:58:13,610 --> 00:58:15,330
He really thinks he's doing the
right thing.

1113
00:58:15,410 --> 00:58:16,970
Everyone thinks they're doing
the right thing.

1114
00:58:17,090 --> 00:58:19,860
Right.
And so I mean my thing is when

1115
00:58:19,860 --> 00:58:24,100
you say that because you I asked
you during our preinterview what

1116
00:58:24,100 --> 00:58:27,820
his side of the story was and
you said he doesn't seem to have

1117
00:58:27,820 --> 00:58:32,180
any idea like.
He keeps telling people in

1118
00:58:32,180 --> 00:58:36,020
prison different stories about
what happened exactly.

1119
00:58:36,860 --> 00:58:38,500
Right, So he doesn't know what
happened.

1120
00:58:38,580 --> 00:58:42,420
And I feel like in order for you
to not be a danger to people,

1121
00:58:42,420 --> 00:58:45,590
you need to know what happened,
Sir, right.

1122
00:58:45,590 --> 00:58:48,990
And and after he, you know,
while we're going through this

1123
00:58:48,990 --> 00:58:51,910
trial process because again he
wanted to take it to trial and

1124
00:58:51,910 --> 00:58:55,030
he ended up being convinced to
take the plea deal because there

1125
00:58:55,030 --> 00:58:56,550
was number way he was going to
win that case.

1126
00:58:56,950 --> 00:59:01,070
Yeah, no attorney sat him down
and and finally made it through

1127
00:59:01,070 --> 00:59:02,750
to him, right.
Exactly.

1128
00:59:02,750 --> 00:59:08,110
And so he did get a psych
evaluation during that process,

1129
00:59:08,430 --> 00:59:12,590
and he was officially diagnosed
Bipolar disorder and

1130
00:59:12,710 --> 00:59:14,510
narcissistic personality
disorder.

1131
00:59:15,400 --> 00:59:17,600
That's interesting.
That's what's expecting that

1132
00:59:17,600 --> 00:59:20,480
one, right.
And so and I actually always

1133
00:59:20,480 --> 00:59:23,320
like suspected, you know,
growing up with him like that he

1134
00:59:23,320 --> 00:59:26,080
might have bipolar because he
did display some of those

1135
00:59:26,080 --> 00:59:28,920
symptoms.
And looking back at it now, not

1136
00:59:28,960 --> 00:59:33,360
having those actual diagnosis,
I'm like it fits.

1137
00:59:33,360 --> 00:59:36,320
It makes exact sense.
Like, I can see moments where he

1138
00:59:36,320 --> 00:59:39,320
was manic and he was one of
those bipolars that was mostly

1139
00:59:39,320 --> 00:59:42,320
manic, went through very quick
depressive episodes and then

1140
00:59:42,320 --> 00:59:46,080
would be manic again.
And and I think that, you know,

1141
00:59:46,080 --> 00:59:49,240
in combination with those things
and the narcissism was just

1142
00:59:49,240 --> 00:59:52,360
always obvious.
He was, he was always an obvious

1143
00:59:52,360 --> 00:59:54,440
narcissist.
And that's why he, he had those,

1144
00:59:54,560 --> 00:59:57,640
you know, very skillful
manipulation skills, you know?

1145
00:59:57,640 --> 01:00:00,240
And also why a lot of people
didn't like him, right?

1146
01:00:00,240 --> 01:00:02,080
Yeah, so a lot of people didn't
like him when they saw through

1147
01:00:02,080 --> 01:00:03,360
him.
And then a lot of people did

1148
01:00:03,360 --> 01:00:06,120
like him because he had this
very charismatic persona that he

1149
01:00:06,120 --> 01:00:08,670
put on to.
Trick people and they care

1150
01:00:08,670 --> 01:00:10,470
about.
And that's why somebody in that

1151
01:00:10,470 --> 01:00:13,310
case would take it to trial,
because they care more about the

1152
01:00:13,310 --> 01:00:16,190
fact that people would see them.
Because in order to get a plea

1153
01:00:16,190 --> 01:00:18,270
deal, you have to admit guilt.
Right.

1154
01:00:18,910 --> 01:00:21,190
And.
And you don't want to admit that

1155
01:00:21,190 --> 01:00:25,510
to the world.
That you physically assaulted

1156
01:00:25,510 --> 01:00:27,710
your girlfriend?
That doesn't look good on

1157
01:00:27,710 --> 01:00:29,150
anybody's record.
Right.

1158
01:00:29,150 --> 01:00:33,310
And he actually, he has a
Facebook page.

1159
01:00:33,840 --> 01:00:35,960
So I'm not sure how it's being
run.

1160
01:00:35,960 --> 01:00:38,480
It could be possible that he's
calling somebody and asking them

1161
01:00:38,480 --> 01:00:41,040
to post on his behalf.
It could be possible that he has

1162
01:00:41,160 --> 01:00:42,920
contraband.
It could be possible that even

1163
01:00:42,920 --> 01:00:45,560
the prison he's in is allowing
them Internet access, because

1164
01:00:45,560 --> 01:00:48,040
some prisons do.
But I see this page.

1165
01:00:48,120 --> 01:00:51,800
I think when you have like a
like a sex crime that involves

1166
01:00:51,800 --> 01:00:54,080
the Internet, they ban the
Internet from you.

1167
01:00:54,600 --> 01:00:56,640
But this is a terrible random
story.

1168
01:00:56,640 --> 01:01:00,560
But years ago, I met a guy like
a couple weeks before he went to

1169
01:01:00,560 --> 01:01:03,730
prison.
And he wanted me to, I don't

1170
01:01:03,730 --> 01:01:06,490
know, be loyal to him.
And I'm like, dude, I don't even

1171
01:01:06,490 --> 01:01:09,650
know you.
But years later, he hit me up on

1172
01:01:09,650 --> 01:01:11,490
Facebook too, while he was in
prison.

1173
01:01:11,490 --> 01:01:13,770
And I was just, yes.
What are you expecting, bud?

1174
01:01:13,770 --> 01:01:16,010
I'm dating somebody.
He's like, you didn't wait for

1175
01:01:16,010 --> 01:01:17,610
me.
And I'm like, I only knew you

1176
01:01:17,610 --> 01:01:19,650
for two weeks.
What are you talking about?

1177
01:01:20,130 --> 01:01:23,050
But yeah, some of them do have
access, I guess based on good

1178
01:01:23,050 --> 01:01:27,370
behavior, things of that nature.
And and yeah, I've even seen

1179
01:01:27,370 --> 01:01:30,810
like people in jail cells going
live on Facebook or going on.

1180
01:01:32,130 --> 01:01:33,650
Things like that.
Like I've seen, you know,

1181
01:01:33,650 --> 01:01:35,810
prisoners on TikTok and things
like that.

1182
01:01:35,810 --> 01:01:39,690
So he has a Facebook page and
even on this page, you know, he

1183
01:01:39,690 --> 01:01:43,650
has supporters galore, a bunch
of people who support him.

1184
01:01:43,890 --> 01:01:45,810
He posts all of these very
delusional.

1185
01:01:45,810 --> 01:01:48,490
He really thinks of himself as a
God.

1186
01:01:48,810 --> 01:01:50,650
He thinks of himself as a
prophet.

1187
01:01:50,650 --> 01:01:52,290
Like he is that type of
narcissist.

1188
01:01:52,290 --> 01:01:57,250
He's very spiritual and he just
really thinks of himself as the

1189
01:01:57,250 --> 01:01:59,450
end all be all.
He thinks he's a prophet.

1190
01:01:59,990 --> 01:02:04,990
And he has supporters, and he
has made a post about the

1191
01:02:04,990 --> 01:02:07,670
situation.
And again, it's all defending

1192
01:02:07,670 --> 01:02:09,430
his actions.
What?

1193
01:02:09,750 --> 01:02:12,270
Yes, just all defending it,
saying it was, you know, he

1194
01:02:12,270 --> 01:02:15,710
didn't need to do it.
He was on drugs and it was for

1195
01:02:15,870 --> 01:02:19,670
whatever reason, you know, I
feel like when he goes up for

1196
01:02:21,150 --> 01:02:25,350
parole, you need to have
screenshots of that because that

1197
01:02:25,350 --> 01:02:29,790
is not somebody who is contrite
and ready to, you know, be back

1198
01:02:29,790 --> 01:02:31,990
into society.
You're at.

1199
01:02:31,990 --> 01:02:33,710
You're saying you did nothing
wrong.

1200
01:02:33,710 --> 01:02:36,790
Are you kidding me?
Dude, you almost died.

1201
01:02:37,030 --> 01:02:38,550
Yeah, absolutely.
No remorse.

1202
01:02:38,550 --> 01:02:41,590
And I think and and I do wonder
about that.

1203
01:02:41,590 --> 01:02:45,190
Had I died?
Had I not made it through, which

1204
01:02:45,190 --> 01:02:46,630
again, was nothing to do with
him?

1205
01:02:46,630 --> 01:02:49,060
It was not.
Because of him that I'm alive.

1206
01:02:49,060 --> 01:02:50,860
It was because of my neighbors
stopping him.

1207
01:02:51,020 --> 01:02:53,540
If he was able to continue on, I
would be dead today.

1208
01:02:53,780 --> 01:02:58,620
And so I just, I do wonder, like
in that moment, would that have

1209
01:02:58,620 --> 01:03:01,780
changed anything or would he
still justify it probably?

1210
01:03:02,300 --> 01:03:05,340
I think he would.
I mean, to avoid going to prison

1211
01:03:05,340 --> 01:03:09,500
you have to essentially you
can't show any remorse in court,

1212
01:03:09,500 --> 01:03:11,700
like because I'll be like, Oh
well, that means you did it.

1213
01:03:11,900 --> 01:03:15,020
You can't like even in
situations where somebody shot

1214
01:03:15,020 --> 01:03:18,610
someone out of self-defense,
they really can't show any

1215
01:03:18,850 --> 01:03:23,010
remorse for the action or it
looks bad to the jewelry.

1216
01:03:23,290 --> 01:03:28,410
So you have to maintain this
position of I was right and it

1217
01:03:28,410 --> 01:03:33,130
just seems so callous to me
personally that you could look,

1218
01:03:33,130 --> 01:03:37,850
you know, your victim in the
face and and be like, yeah, I

1219
01:03:37,850 --> 01:03:40,850
stabbed you and and collapsed
your lung and did all these

1220
01:03:40,850 --> 01:03:43,090
horrible things to you and So
what?

1221
01:03:43,290 --> 01:03:46,910
Right now here's my question and
I was I thought about this after

1222
01:03:46,910 --> 01:03:52,390
we had our pre interview.
What happens with his aspect of

1223
01:03:52,390 --> 01:03:55,110
being a parent when he gets out
of prison?

1224
01:03:55,710 --> 01:04:01,430
Do you have to allow him access?
So because so I was three months

1225
01:04:01,430 --> 01:04:05,310
pregnant when this happened, so
he was in jail when the baby was

1226
01:04:05,310 --> 01:04:09,000
born and so.
I don't know if this is just a

1227
01:04:09,000 --> 01:04:12,360
Colorado thing, but again, if
you, if the father is not

1228
01:04:12,360 --> 01:04:15,840
present to sign for the birth
certificate, they will not go on

1229
01:04:15,840 --> 01:04:17,080
the birth certificate.
Right.

1230
01:04:17,080 --> 01:04:19,840
And so I am the only parent on
his birth certificate.

1231
01:04:20,560 --> 01:04:23,840
I am.
I did foolishly as you know, a

1232
01:04:23,840 --> 01:04:25,960
teen who wanted to still make
things work with him.

1233
01:04:25,960 --> 01:04:29,600
I did give my child his last
name, Marlon's last name.

1234
01:04:29,760 --> 01:04:32,040
That can be changed.
And so, yeah, that's that's what

1235
01:04:32,040 --> 01:04:34,920
we're in the process of right
now is changing my child's name

1236
01:04:34,920 --> 01:04:37,630
legally.
Filing I I do.

1237
01:04:37,630 --> 01:04:39,950
In the state of Colorado.
You have legal custody.

1238
01:04:39,950 --> 01:04:44,710
The mother has full legal
custody of her child unless you

1239
01:04:44,710 --> 01:04:48,310
know, you know, proven, you know
an unfit parent or things of

1240
01:04:48,310 --> 01:04:51,710
that nature.
But but my son is, you know,

1241
01:04:51,710 --> 01:04:55,750
mine legally.
And after my partner and I get

1242
01:04:55,750 --> 01:04:58,870
married, he'll be probably
adopting my son just to make

1243
01:04:58,870 --> 01:05:02,430
sure that if if something does
happen where Marlin does try.

1244
01:05:02,890 --> 01:05:05,730
That's what I'm worried about.
Because a lot of these times,

1245
01:05:05,730 --> 01:05:10,090
people who are abusers will try
little ways to to stay in your

1246
01:05:10,090 --> 01:05:11,330
life.
Right.

1247
01:05:11,530 --> 01:05:13,770
And that is my fear.
That is my fear with him getting

1248
01:05:13,770 --> 01:05:19,410
out is, is the fact that we do
have this child that he might

1249
01:05:19,410 --> 01:05:22,650
want access to, that he might
want to take from me, that he

1250
01:05:22,650 --> 01:05:25,330
might want to hurt either me or
my son.

1251
01:05:25,610 --> 01:05:28,810
And so that's our biggest thing
is, is protecting my son.

1252
01:05:28,810 --> 01:05:31,650
And so again, that's why my
partner will be adopting him,

1253
01:05:31,650 --> 01:05:33,460
because.
If something were to happen to

1254
01:05:33,460 --> 01:05:36,500
me, you know, I'd hate for the
baby, you know, Marlon to come.

1255
01:05:36,700 --> 01:05:38,500
Yeah, right.
Which he wouldn't.

1256
01:05:38,500 --> 01:05:41,740
But I I just want to make sure
everything is in place to make

1257
01:05:41,740 --> 01:05:44,220
sure that even if Marlon does
try to get custody, if he does

1258
01:05:44,220 --> 01:05:48,900
try to get visitation, that no
judge would look at, you know,

1259
01:05:48,900 --> 01:05:52,140
this this case and say, yeah,
you can have visitation.

1260
01:05:52,140 --> 01:05:54,620
So we're just making sure,
putting everything in place to

1261
01:05:54,620 --> 01:05:56,140
make sure that that doesn't
happen.

1262
01:05:56,260 --> 01:05:58,700
I wish I could say that I have
not seen that happen, but I

1263
01:05:58,700 --> 01:06:02,020
have.
I've seen actual rapists request

1264
01:06:02,020 --> 01:06:06,220
visitation from the children
that weren't born out of an

1265
01:06:06,220 --> 01:06:10,020
assault and and and someone
actually trying to petition the

1266
01:06:10,020 --> 01:06:13,500
court because, well, that's
still my kid and I want to have.

1267
01:06:13,820 --> 01:06:15,900
I'm like, are you kidding me,
dude?

1268
01:06:16,460 --> 01:06:19,780
Right.
It's it's disgusting and and I

1269
01:06:19,780 --> 01:06:22,860
think we're going to see a lot
more of it with the laws that

1270
01:06:22,860 --> 01:06:24,420
are being put in place in this
country.

1271
01:06:24,620 --> 01:06:27,900
Yep.
Unfortunately, I just saw a case

1272
01:06:27,980 --> 01:06:32,220
and people.
This girl, she was very young.

1273
01:06:32,660 --> 01:06:35,860
She didn't want the baby, and
she had no option to get rid of

1274
01:06:35,860 --> 01:06:38,420
the baby.
She hit it and then she tried to

1275
01:06:38,420 --> 01:06:42,380
throw it away.
And I'm like, well, yeah, when

1276
01:06:42,380 --> 01:06:46,860
you don't allow women the
ability to control their

1277
01:06:46,860 --> 01:06:48,820
reproductive health, this is
what's going to happen.

1278
01:06:48,820 --> 01:06:50,940
We said to you this is what was
going to happen.

1279
01:06:51,580 --> 01:06:55,780
Yeah, people will find a way.
Absolutely, because it's not as

1280
01:06:55,780 --> 01:06:59,220
easy to get your child adopted
out as people think.

1281
01:06:59,260 --> 01:07:02,940
Oh, yeah, no, it definitely.
And and we already have you know

1282
01:07:03,900 --> 01:07:05,940
hundreds of thousands of
children in the foster right

1283
01:07:05,940 --> 01:07:11,980
system being harmed every day.
It makes me so upset.

1284
01:07:13,060 --> 01:07:17,020
One thing I wanted to talk about
was you said we talked about in

1285
01:07:17,020 --> 01:07:19,980
the pre interview.
But I I want, I want them to

1286
01:07:19,980 --> 01:07:23,620
hear about this because like you
said, you were on Marlon's side

1287
01:07:23,940 --> 01:07:26,660
for about two years after he was
in prison.

1288
01:07:26,820 --> 01:07:30,940
I want to talk about that time
period of when you were using

1289
01:07:30,940 --> 01:07:36,820
all of your money to to talk to
him and and for hours every day,

1290
01:07:37,380 --> 01:07:39,660
like what was going through your
mind then?

1291
01:07:39,660 --> 01:07:41,580
I guess it's what, 18 to 20
years old?

1292
01:07:42,180 --> 01:07:47,420
Yeah, so at his one of his 1st
Court hearings, I attended

1293
01:07:47,420 --> 01:07:50,460
everyone you know with my family
and.

1294
01:07:51,310 --> 01:07:55,950
I put a petition to modify our
protection order because again,

1295
01:07:55,950 --> 01:07:58,070
in these situations, you know,
the district attorneys are

1296
01:07:58,070 --> 01:08:01,070
pressing charges and there was a
a restraining order, a

1297
01:08:01,070 --> 01:08:04,390
protection order put in place
and I wanted it modified because

1298
01:08:04,390 --> 01:08:06,550
I wanted to be able to to visit
him in the jail.

1299
01:08:06,550 --> 01:08:08,110
And these visits are not in
person.

1300
01:08:08,110 --> 01:08:13,230
They're all on video call and
and if you go to the jail, it's

1301
01:08:13,230 --> 01:08:14,590
free.
If you want to do it on your

1302
01:08:14,590 --> 01:08:19,550
phone at home, it costs money.
And then when he got able to use

1303
01:08:19,550 --> 01:08:22,310
the phones.
As opposed to just the video

1304
01:08:22,310 --> 01:08:27,550
visits, it costs $0.12 a minute
to talk on the phone and I was

1305
01:08:27,550 --> 01:08:29,910
paying for it.
I've I've learned that in

1306
01:08:29,990 --> 01:08:33,630
contacting people who are in
prison now for stories and

1307
01:08:33,630 --> 01:08:39,510
things, I think to send an
e-mail to the one woman I've

1308
01:08:39,510 --> 01:08:43,470
spoken with in the UK, it's like
$4.00 every time I send her an

1309
01:08:43,470 --> 01:08:44,830
e-mail.
Yeah, yeah.

1310
01:08:44,830 --> 01:08:48,149
So and we did the like the
e-mail thing as well.

1311
01:08:48,580 --> 01:08:53,060
Paid money for that, you know,
sent each other letters and

1312
01:08:53,140 --> 01:08:55,180
talked on the phone for $0.12 a
minute.

1313
01:08:55,300 --> 01:08:57,540
And you would think you're
spending all this money.

1314
01:08:57,540 --> 01:09:01,500
You're trying to help him feel
better while he's in prison, and

1315
01:09:01,580 --> 01:09:03,300
I'm sorry, it's out of my
control.

1316
01:09:03,300 --> 01:09:04,779
I would have dropped the charges
if I could.

1317
01:09:04,779 --> 01:09:09,060
You would think in that
situation he would be nice to

1318
01:09:09,060 --> 01:09:11,420
you.
And you know, he was in the

1319
01:09:11,420 --> 01:09:14,020
beginning, and I think that was
part of the love bombing.

1320
01:09:14,350 --> 01:09:17,990
Manipulation to get me to stay
with him because he was

1321
01:09:17,990 --> 01:09:21,189
everything I wanted him to be
before, you know, I wanted him

1322
01:09:21,189 --> 01:09:24,550
to be sweet to me and my love.
Language is words of affirmation

1323
01:09:24,550 --> 01:09:26,790
and I wanted him to give me
those words of affirmation.

1324
01:09:26,790 --> 01:09:28,229
He was finally starting to do
these things.

1325
01:09:28,229 --> 01:09:30,590
Finally starting to tell me all
the things I always wanted to

1326
01:09:30,590 --> 01:09:34,350
hear from him and then you know
two years into our relationship

1327
01:09:34,350 --> 01:09:36,350
and and it's it's the breaking
me down.

1328
01:09:36,920 --> 01:09:40,560
You know, the accusing me of
being unfaithful to him, which I

1329
01:09:40,560 --> 01:09:44,359
wasn't at any point, even though
it would have been, I think

1330
01:09:44,359 --> 01:09:47,439
justified.
Like I stayed so loyal to him.

1331
01:09:47,479 --> 01:09:50,800
I just rode so hard for him,
defended him, and he's just on

1332
01:09:50,800 --> 01:09:54,120
the phone with me, making me
feel small and insecure.

1333
01:09:54,279 --> 01:09:57,440
And I just realized, I'm paying
money for this.

1334
01:09:58,160 --> 01:10:02,120
I'm paying money to money that
should go with your son.

1335
01:10:02,530 --> 01:10:04,210
Exactly.
And I'm I wasn't necessarily

1336
01:10:04,210 --> 01:10:06,490
working at the time and maybe
had some like side gigs but I

1337
01:10:06,490 --> 01:10:09,570
was a stay at home teen parent
you know living with my parents

1338
01:10:09,570 --> 01:10:11,210
and and thank God for my
parents.

1339
01:10:11,210 --> 01:10:13,290
You know I I love my mom.
I love my dad.

1340
01:10:13,290 --> 01:10:16,810
They've they've taken such good
care of me and allowed me to

1341
01:10:16,810 --> 01:10:19,370
really be at home with my son.
But again I'm I'm not working

1342
01:10:19,370 --> 01:10:24,490
using whatever money I I can get
basically to to you know spend

1343
01:10:24,490 --> 01:10:26,610
money on on talking to this man
to be belittled.

1344
01:10:26,610 --> 01:10:29,370
And that was when I realized I
like myself.

1345
01:10:30,050 --> 01:10:33,090
And I don't like the way he's
making me feel about myself and

1346
01:10:33,090 --> 01:10:34,450
I'm not gonna pay for this
anymore.

1347
01:10:34,850 --> 01:10:39,170
And so that was when I finally
started to slowly kind of come

1348
01:10:39,170 --> 01:10:43,170
out of that hold he had on me
and decide that it was time for

1349
01:10:43,170 --> 01:10:46,930
me to to leave him Now, when you
stopped doing the phone calls,

1350
01:10:46,930 --> 01:10:48,170
did he reach out?
Yes.

1351
01:10:48,170 --> 01:10:53,170
So he still would call me and
even after I officially broke up

1352
01:10:53,170 --> 01:10:55,240
with him.
Even now and then he would call

1353
01:10:55,240 --> 01:10:58,600
me and I still, it took a while
for me to finally cut contact

1354
01:10:59,560 --> 01:11:02,720
because he started to pay
because he was working in the

1355
01:11:02,720 --> 01:11:06,360
jail, like they have jobs.
And so he, you know, they it's,

1356
01:11:07,560 --> 01:11:11,200
I mean it's basically, you know,
legal slavery, which is a whole

1357
01:11:11,200 --> 01:11:13,360
other conversation.
But he was making, you know, a

1358
01:11:13,360 --> 01:11:15,680
certain amount of money to wash
dishes in the jail.

1359
01:11:16,030 --> 01:11:18,990
And his mom would put money on
his books and things like that.

1360
01:11:18,990 --> 01:11:22,510
And so he started actually using
his own money off his books to

1361
01:11:22,630 --> 01:11:24,430
pay for the calls.
So I started answering them.

1362
01:11:24,590 --> 01:11:27,430
You answered.
Yeah, So I would talk to him and

1363
01:11:27,430 --> 01:11:29,790
I would, you know, and this, you
know, he was somebody that was

1364
01:11:29,790 --> 01:11:32,790
like my best friend.
Like before anything, even when

1365
01:11:32,790 --> 01:11:35,630
we were to introduce each other,
we would never say, this is my

1366
01:11:35,630 --> 01:11:37,230
boyfriend, this is my
girlfriend, you know, I say this

1367
01:11:37,230 --> 01:11:40,430
is my best friend.
And so it was hard for me to

1368
01:11:40,430 --> 01:11:43,510
like, you know, even after an
extra betrayal.

1369
01:11:44,180 --> 01:11:47,140
It absolutely like, it wasn't
just, you know, a partner.

1370
01:11:47,180 --> 01:11:50,500
It was.
It was my best friend, you know,

1371
01:11:50,500 --> 01:11:52,940
for years.
So even after you decided, you

1372
01:11:52,940 --> 01:11:55,500
know, I like myself, I want to
do better, you still kind of

1373
01:11:55,500 --> 01:11:58,460
talk to him for a little while.
Yeah, I did for a little bit.

1374
01:11:58,460 --> 01:12:02,100
And then I actually started
getting into a new relationship

1375
01:12:02,100 --> 01:12:03,900
with somebody else, not my
current partner, but just

1376
01:12:03,900 --> 01:12:06,340
somebody I saw kind of briefly
after that.

1377
01:12:06,340 --> 01:12:09,660
And and that's a whole other
story in itself.

1378
01:12:09,660 --> 01:12:13,020
But I I just was like, I think
I'm done talking to him.

1379
01:12:13,330 --> 01:12:16,650
I was going to ask you, do you
feel like I can only speak from

1380
01:12:16,650 --> 01:12:19,490
my own experience?
It took me a while, I think to

1381
01:12:19,490 --> 01:12:26,330
get from the abusive aspect of
of my relationship to like a

1382
01:12:26,330 --> 01:12:29,810
positive, good relationship like
the one I'm in now is a very

1383
01:12:29,810 --> 01:12:32,610
good one.
But I I had two other people I

1384
01:12:32,610 --> 01:12:38,770
dated after my abuser and I was
trying to figure out how are

1385
01:12:38,770 --> 01:12:43,690
people supposed to treat you?
I don't know, is this right?

1386
01:12:44,570 --> 01:12:46,770
My head was completely skewed
for so long.

1387
01:12:47,170 --> 01:12:52,090
Did you go through that too?
Well, I made very poor decisions

1388
01:12:52,090 --> 01:12:56,650
and partners after that.
So the first person that I like

1389
01:12:56,650 --> 01:13:01,330
really was very casually seeing
after this was some.

1390
01:13:01,330 --> 01:13:03,250
It was like he was somebody that
kind of helped me.

1391
01:13:04,380 --> 01:13:07,220
Like, really make the final
decision to break up with Marlon

1392
01:13:07,220 --> 01:13:10,540
because I kind of wanted to
pursue this other person, but

1393
01:13:10,540 --> 01:13:13,700
this person ended up being just
as narcissistic.

1394
01:13:13,900 --> 01:13:15,860
Oh no, just as abusive.
Not to me.

1395
01:13:16,140 --> 01:13:19,340
He ended up dating a friend of
mine and was very abusive to

1396
01:13:19,340 --> 01:13:21,340
her.
So I just made very poor

1397
01:13:21,340 --> 01:13:23,220
decisions.
And then the guy that I dated

1398
01:13:23,220 --> 01:13:25,380
for, you know, a little bit more
seriously, for a few months

1399
01:13:25,380 --> 01:13:28,420
after that, another narcissist
who?

1400
01:13:29,220 --> 01:13:31,420
Just didn't really have a lot of
empathy for me.

1401
01:13:31,420 --> 01:13:34,860
And even in the days when I when
I broke up with that person, he

1402
01:13:34,860 --> 01:13:39,180
compared the feeling of me
breaking up with him to what

1403
01:13:39,180 --> 01:13:41,380
Marlon had done to me.
He told me.

1404
01:13:41,900 --> 01:13:45,060
He told me, Sadie, remember when
Marlon stabbed you?

1405
01:13:45,060 --> 01:13:46,420
Do you remember the feeling you
felt?

1406
01:13:46,420 --> 01:13:48,820
That's how you're making me
feel, no?

1407
01:13:49,540 --> 01:13:52,300
And I was like that is not the
same actually that's.

1408
01:13:54,100 --> 01:13:55,940
Yeah.
So I'm in fact anybody would say

1409
01:13:55,940 --> 01:13:57,460
that.
Wow, wow.

1410
01:13:57,620 --> 01:14:00,730
And.
It was actually so my best

1411
01:14:00,730 --> 01:14:02,490
friend in the world, Her name is
Maddie.

1412
01:14:02,530 --> 01:14:06,450
Shout out to Maddie. her and I
sat down shortly after I'd

1413
01:14:06,450 --> 01:14:08,410
broken up with Marlon when I was
still kind of, you know,

1414
01:14:08,410 --> 01:14:10,850
casually seeing that other
person and I I made a list.

1415
01:14:11,170 --> 01:14:14,690
I made a list of everything I
wanted in a partner, and I put,

1416
01:14:14,690 --> 01:14:18,290
I kept it in my phone and I just
kind of, you know, didn't really

1417
01:14:18,290 --> 01:14:19,810
think about it too much.
Didn't look at it all the time.

1418
01:14:19,810 --> 01:14:23,170
But by the time I broke up with
that other person, who compared?

1419
01:14:24,010 --> 01:14:27,490
Compared our situations after I
broke up with him, I was like

1420
01:14:27,530 --> 01:14:30,450
I'm going to find my person and
they're going to be exactly

1421
01:14:30,450 --> 01:14:32,410
everything on this list.
They're going to treat me well

1422
01:14:32,410 --> 01:14:33,930
they're going to have the same
interest as me.

1423
01:14:34,130 --> 01:14:36,610
You know all of these things,
all of these things on my list

1424
01:14:36,810 --> 01:14:40,570
and I was like I I'm going to
know it when I see them and or

1425
01:14:40,570 --> 01:14:43,250
you know however it was like I'm
going to date them and you know

1426
01:14:43,450 --> 01:14:45,370
these things are going to happen
and they're going to say these

1427
01:14:45,370 --> 01:14:47,610
things to me and that's going to
be my confirmation that this is

1428
01:14:47,610 --> 01:14:49,830
the right.
Person my my Cosmic Life

1429
01:14:49,830 --> 01:14:52,750
partner.
And everything unfolded with my

1430
01:14:52,750 --> 01:14:56,350
partner Christopher, exactly how
I imagined it.

1431
01:14:56,630 --> 01:15:01,150
Oh, that's wonderful.
I absolutely lucked into it.

1432
01:15:01,510 --> 01:15:05,470
I went into a period of I am not
going to, I'm gonna go on dates,

1433
01:15:05,790 --> 01:15:08,150
but I am not going to allow
anybody to get close to me if it

1434
01:15:08,150 --> 01:15:11,070
does not feel right.
And for like a solid like 11

1435
01:15:11,070 --> 01:15:13,990
months I went on dates.
And if it didn't feel right, I

1436
01:15:13,990 --> 01:15:17,070
immediately went Nope and just
didn't see the person again.

1437
01:15:17,310 --> 01:15:22,130
And then last Christmas, or
right before Christmas, I went

1438
01:15:22,130 --> 01:15:26,970
on a date with my current
partner and it was like, huh,

1439
01:15:27,610 --> 01:15:29,370
light.
There's just like a light of.

1440
01:15:29,370 --> 01:15:32,930
Like right, what is this is
everything that I've always

1441
01:15:32,930 --> 01:15:36,090
wanted someone to talk to me in
this way, someone to listen to

1442
01:15:36,090 --> 01:15:40,610
me in this way, someone who is
very because you do.

1443
01:15:40,970 --> 01:15:43,450
I always make all the jokes as
like, you know, hot girls with

1444
01:15:43,450 --> 01:15:49,750
all of our mental health issues.
But absolutely who who

1445
01:15:49,830 --> 01:15:51,870
understood that?
And it was actually really

1446
01:15:51,870 --> 01:15:54,590
interesting.
One day he took my roommate to

1447
01:15:54,590 --> 01:15:59,430
the grocery store and he asked
her she does this thing and it

1448
01:15:59,470 --> 01:16:02,950
has to do with my ADHD and how I
I talk and how I jump from

1449
01:16:02,950 --> 01:16:06,590
subject to subject so fast.
And he like he asked her about

1450
01:16:06,590 --> 01:16:08,710
it to try and understand me
better.

1451
01:16:08,710 --> 01:16:12,610
He didn't get mad at me.
He he was like, how do I learn

1452
01:16:12,610 --> 01:16:16,090
more about this condition She
has because she is completely

1453
01:16:16,090 --> 01:16:19,130
oblivious.
She has some of the ways that

1454
01:16:19,130 --> 01:16:22,610
she she talks sometimes.
And I was like, that's really

1455
01:16:22,610 --> 01:16:25,970
nice because I met so many
people who were like, your

1456
01:16:25,970 --> 01:16:27,730
mental health's not my problem.
I don't care.

1457
01:16:28,490 --> 01:16:32,090
That's love and and I think the
person that I was with prior to

1458
01:16:32,090 --> 01:16:36,150
my partner, like, I think he.
He was kind of that way.

1459
01:16:36,150 --> 01:16:38,990
He didn't really understand my
my traumas.

1460
01:16:38,990 --> 01:16:41,470
I mean, I had just gotten out of
that relationship with Mara,

1461
01:16:41,470 --> 01:16:44,350
right?
He didn't really understand, you

1462
01:16:44,350 --> 01:16:48,670
know, how how things were for me
and didn't really have a lot of

1463
01:16:48,670 --> 01:16:52,510
empathy and and wanted me to, I
think just be normal and right.

1464
01:16:52,550 --> 01:16:55,950
Just be regular, right?
And so yeah, why are you crying?

1465
01:16:55,950 --> 01:16:57,830
For no reason.
Right, right.

1466
01:16:57,950 --> 01:17:00,030
Exactly like he would.
Oh my gosh, it was.

1467
01:17:00,070 --> 01:17:01,950
It was horrible to the point
where if I was venting to him

1468
01:17:01,950 --> 01:17:03,430
about something, he would be
like, why do you want me to do

1469
01:17:03,430 --> 01:17:04,750
your personal development for
you?

1470
01:17:05,110 --> 01:17:07,030
Oh.
I'm like, I'm just, he's like

1471
01:17:07,030 --> 01:17:08,830
I'm not your therapist.
Get my good.

1472
01:17:08,910 --> 01:17:11,510
I'm like.
I'm a therapist, thank you.

1473
01:17:11,550 --> 01:17:14,150
I'm just talking to you because
you're my boyfriend, but like, I

1474
01:17:14,150 --> 01:17:16,230
still have.
I have trauma for my abusive

1475
01:17:16,230 --> 01:17:19,550
relationship.
It's been for almost five years

1476
01:17:19,550 --> 01:17:23,270
now, and slamming doors affect
me.

1477
01:17:24,310 --> 01:17:26,630
Yes.
And they still do.

1478
01:17:26,990 --> 01:17:31,910
Like when I hear a very loud
smash, something break, drop on

1479
01:17:31,910 --> 01:17:33,590
the ground, it's really loud.
I jump.

1480
01:17:34,350 --> 01:17:37,870
And so the fact that you, like
you meet somebody who's kind of

1481
01:17:37,870 --> 01:17:41,470
got to be okay with the fact
that that's sort of a thing.

1482
01:17:41,470 --> 01:17:47,190
And I don't know when that's
going to stop because for me, I

1483
01:17:47,190 --> 01:17:51,390
I was with somebody who didn't
hit me but hit other things and

1484
01:17:51,390 --> 01:17:53,870
and that's a sign of I could
hurt you if I wanted to.

1485
01:17:54,350 --> 01:17:57,670
Right, absolutely.
You know, so that's that's it's

1486
01:17:57,670 --> 01:17:59,550
scary.
And so I still have those little

1487
01:17:59,550 --> 01:18:03,680
moments that pop up and and to
have somebody just be like just

1488
01:18:03,680 --> 01:18:07,160
just come over here and cry for
a little bit, that's it's

1489
01:18:07,160 --> 01:18:09,600
wonderful.
It's it's love and and my

1490
01:18:09,600 --> 01:18:13,240
partner is my partner also you
know struggles with some some

1491
01:18:13,240 --> 01:18:16,560
traumas of his own and so he's
very understanding towards me

1492
01:18:16,800 --> 01:18:20,200
and you know we we just get each
other and that's you know like

1493
01:18:20,200 --> 01:18:22,680
the biggest blessing for me is
like finding my person because

1494
01:18:23,000 --> 01:18:25,000
you wouldn't you wouldn't
imagine being able to trust

1495
01:18:25,000 --> 01:18:29,160
somebody again after like that.
Kind of betrayal, but I'm very

1496
01:18:29,160 --> 01:18:31,160
blessed and lucky that and I'm
an optim.

1497
01:18:31,200 --> 01:18:35,720
I'm an optimist 100% and it's
almost to a fault where I just

1498
01:18:35,720 --> 01:18:38,000
can't control it.
I just can't let anything drag

1499
01:18:38,000 --> 01:18:41,040
me down for too long.
Even in the hospital after I had

1500
01:18:41,040 --> 01:18:45,720
woken up, after everything had
happened and I just felt this

1501
01:18:45,720 --> 01:18:49,280
feeling of, I don't know why
this happened, but it's it was

1502
01:18:49,280 --> 01:18:52,000
for a reason.
And one day, because I've always

1503
01:18:52,000 --> 01:18:54,560
wanted to be a public speaker,
one day I'm going to tell the

1504
01:18:54,560 --> 01:18:56,960
story from stage.
And I had that feeling waking up

1505
01:18:56,960 --> 01:19:00,240
in the hospital.
And so I just am a very

1506
01:19:00,280 --> 01:19:03,120
optimistic person.
If we have to point out a

1507
01:19:03,120 --> 01:19:06,480
reason, maybe the reason was so
that your son wouldn't grow up

1508
01:19:06,480 --> 01:19:10,280
with Marlon and his life.
And I'm so grateful for that and

1509
01:19:10,280 --> 01:19:15,040
I look at people who you know
have to to Co parent with people

1510
01:19:15,040 --> 01:19:18,640
that maybe didn't treat them
well and it's it's really hard

1511
01:19:18,640 --> 01:19:20,720
and I'm lucky that I don't have
to Co parent with him.

1512
01:19:20,840 --> 01:19:22,720
He's out of the picture.
Maybe.

1513
01:19:22,840 --> 01:19:26,180
Maybe you unfortunately went
through all this pain, but you

1514
01:19:26,180 --> 01:19:30,660
can save your son from going
through more pain of having a

1515
01:19:30,660 --> 01:19:35,180
narcissistic parent.
Because I have a bio dad who is

1516
01:19:35,900 --> 01:19:39,700
he's the trip I I in my
adulthood.

1517
01:19:39,700 --> 01:19:42,140
I finally had to say to him, I
don't like talking to you

1518
01:19:42,140 --> 01:19:44,460
because every time I talk to
you, you make me feel bad.

1519
01:19:45,220 --> 01:19:47,580
I was like, if you want to know
about my life, text me.

1520
01:19:47,580 --> 01:19:49,860
Because I just don't even want
to have a conversation with you,

1521
01:19:49,860 --> 01:19:51,090
dude.
Right?

1522
01:19:51,090 --> 01:19:56,930
At every opportunity, he somehow
finds a way to just be awful.

1523
01:19:57,250 --> 01:20:00,690
And so maybe you know, your son
was saved from having a life of

1524
01:20:00,730 --> 01:20:02,530
of being raised by somebody like
that.

1525
01:20:02,610 --> 01:20:05,890
Yeah absolutely And and I'm I'm
so grateful and and the way my

1526
01:20:05,890 --> 01:20:11,130
life has turned out since that
is, it's so good compared to

1527
01:20:11,130 --> 01:20:12,850
what it would have been.
Right.

1528
01:20:12,850 --> 01:20:14,770
What it could have been.
I mean, you're you're doing

1529
01:20:15,050 --> 01:20:17,690
wonderful things like you said,
you started a lifestyle brand

1530
01:20:17,690 --> 01:20:19,690
you.
I I saw your modeling.

1531
01:20:19,690 --> 01:20:21,290
I even saw.
I noticed you did like

1532
01:20:21,290 --> 01:20:23,970
photography on your page.
You said it's just a hobby, but

1533
01:20:24,210 --> 01:20:26,250
it looks beautiful.
Some of the things that you've

1534
01:20:26,250 --> 01:20:27,610
done.
Yeah.

1535
01:20:27,610 --> 01:20:28,290
Thank you.
Yeah.

1536
01:20:28,290 --> 01:20:31,650
I've I've been doing modeling
for a few years now.

1537
01:20:31,650 --> 01:20:36,210
I actually went to like modeling
and acting trade school kind of

1538
01:20:36,210 --> 01:20:38,970
after I broke up with Marlon.
And I'm starting to do that and

1539
01:20:39,490 --> 01:20:43,530
and then me and and, you know,
my best friend Morgan started

1540
01:20:44,130 --> 01:20:46,050
Get Life, which is a lifestyle
brand.

1541
01:20:46,050 --> 01:20:49,010
And it's it's all about, you
know, living life like there's

1542
01:20:49,010 --> 01:20:51,250
no tomorrow.
And that's the idea behind it.

1543
01:20:51,250 --> 01:20:53,610
And I don't think I would have
stepped into the leadership role

1544
01:20:53,610 --> 01:20:56,570
that it took for me to own this
brand if I was still under

1545
01:20:56,570 --> 01:20:59,170
Marlon's thumb and allowing him
to lead all my decisions.

1546
01:20:59,170 --> 01:21:01,730
Right, because it doesn't seem
like it at the time.

1547
01:21:01,730 --> 01:21:06,330
But they do little things to to
sabotage you.

1548
01:21:06,370 --> 01:21:08,770
I think about that too, in
regards to like TikTok and

1549
01:21:08,770 --> 01:21:11,850
whatnot.
And I started this.

1550
01:21:12,810 --> 01:21:15,170
Being involved with TikTok in
2021.

1551
01:21:15,930 --> 01:21:19,090
Started the podcast 2021 and I'm
like, I don't know if I would

1552
01:21:19,090 --> 01:21:23,490
have done this right.
If if that person was still in

1553
01:21:23,490 --> 01:21:28,210
my life because at every
opportunity he he chipped away

1554
01:21:28,250 --> 01:21:31,850
just little bits, little bit at
a time and I didn't realize it.

1555
01:21:32,130 --> 01:21:35,530
And would I have had the
confidence to to get on camera,

1556
01:21:35,530 --> 01:21:39,650
to be in a movie, to go on a
film set, I don't know.

1557
01:21:39,650 --> 01:21:41,930
I don't know if I would have
been that person that I I was

1558
01:21:41,930 --> 01:21:44,550
in.
You know, the late aughts or the

1559
01:21:44,670 --> 01:21:48,830
20 teams that I am now?
Yeah, absolutely.

1560
01:21:48,830 --> 01:21:50,110
Yeah.
I feel the the same way.

1561
01:21:50,110 --> 01:21:52,230
Like I I don't think I would
have had the confidence to go

1562
01:21:52,230 --> 01:21:55,310
after my dreams and I wouldn't
have, you know, I wouldn't I I

1563
01:21:55,310 --> 01:21:57,430
would have let him take the
lead, like it's just how we

1564
01:21:57,430 --> 01:21:59,590
operated.
I would have let him, you know,

1565
01:21:59,590 --> 01:22:02,070
kind of do things and and really
get life.

1566
01:22:02,470 --> 01:22:06,640
A big part of it was inspired by
the near death experience I had

1567
01:22:06,640 --> 01:22:09,440
because I I did realize how much
I wanted to check off my bucket

1568
01:22:09,440 --> 01:22:12,160
list and how much I wanted to be
a full time parent and I wanted

1569
01:22:12,160 --> 01:22:13,440
to help other people do the same
thing.

1570
01:22:13,440 --> 01:22:16,720
And so that's what we do and
it's it's like been the biggest

1571
01:22:16,720 --> 01:22:19,600
blessing of my life.
So I, even though it was

1572
01:22:19,720 --> 01:22:23,440
horrible and traumatic and I
still do suffer from the trauma

1573
01:22:24,240 --> 01:22:27,000
in certain regards, like I
couldn't be more happy that that

1574
01:22:27,000 --> 01:22:31,760
happened to me.
It's weird, Yeah, Yeah, I I.

1575
01:22:32,350 --> 01:22:34,710
Funny enough, this morning
before my my partner left for

1576
01:22:34,710 --> 01:22:36,590
work, I was just like, I wish we
would have met each other when

1577
01:22:36,590 --> 01:22:40,470
we were younger, but on the
other side, you know I am who I

1578
01:22:40,470 --> 01:22:46,270
am now to meet this person who
seems perfect for me because of

1579
01:22:46,270 --> 01:22:49,910
who I am now.
Yes, I ohh I agree so much.

1580
01:22:50,030 --> 01:22:52,070
Yeah.
So, and I remember something one

1581
01:22:52,070 --> 01:22:54,510
of my therapists said to me,
it's something that I I still

1582
01:22:54,510 --> 01:22:57,030
struggle with sometimes, she
said.

1583
01:22:58,100 --> 01:23:01,220
Forgive who you had to be to
survive Whatever you had to do

1584
01:23:01,220 --> 01:23:03,260
to get you where you are right
now.

1585
01:23:03,540 --> 01:23:05,940
There's no reason to have a
regret about any of that.

1586
01:23:06,300 --> 01:23:10,220
You did what you had to do to
get where you are today.

1587
01:23:10,580 --> 01:23:13,620
And you know, I think about
like, Dang.

1588
01:23:13,620 --> 01:23:16,420
I mean, I let this guy ruin my
college experience.

1589
01:23:16,820 --> 01:23:20,140
I I would skip school.
I failed out of school for that

1590
01:23:20,140 --> 01:23:21,780
dude.
You know, like, what would I

1591
01:23:21,780 --> 01:23:24,020
have been if I hadn't?
I hadn't failed out of college

1592
01:23:24,020 --> 01:23:27,270
if I hadn't.
You know, done all these things,

1593
01:23:27,270 --> 01:23:30,510
lived in these places.
I don't know.

1594
01:23:31,150 --> 01:23:33,430
But I know that who I am right
now is somebody that I am proud

1595
01:23:33,430 --> 01:23:34,710
of.
And it sounds like you are too.

1596
01:23:34,870 --> 01:23:36,710
Yeah.
And I love that you said that.

1597
01:23:36,710 --> 01:23:39,470
That resonates a lot because it
is hard for me to look back at

1598
01:23:39,470 --> 01:23:44,030
my 18/19/20 year old self who
was, you know, in this

1599
01:23:44,030 --> 01:23:47,430
relationship with this person.
And I almost feel more regret

1600
01:23:47,430 --> 01:23:49,710
and guilt, not because of what
he did to me, but because I know

1601
01:23:49,710 --> 01:23:53,590
he had other allegations against
him and I ignored them.

1602
01:23:53,910 --> 01:23:58,770
And so I like to all of his
other victims, like, I love you

1603
01:23:58,770 --> 01:24:01,010
guys and we're, you know, united
together.

1604
01:24:01,010 --> 01:24:03,770
And I stand by you.
But I I think I love that you

1605
01:24:03,770 --> 01:24:05,770
said that, like, forgive who you
had to be to survive.

1606
01:24:05,810 --> 01:24:07,130
I'm gonna keep that in mind for
sure.

1607
01:24:07,490 --> 01:24:11,970
The day the day this woman said
that to me, it it was stuck in

1608
01:24:11,970 --> 01:24:16,170
my head all day long and I was
just like that was the first

1609
01:24:16,170 --> 01:24:19,970
time I was at therapy and I was
just racked and it was such a

1610
01:24:19,970 --> 01:24:23,490
simple statement.
Forgive yourself, Britney.

1611
01:24:24,850 --> 01:24:27,850
And I I I really struggled with
it for a long time.

1612
01:24:27,930 --> 01:24:31,690
Because you you blame yourself.
You're like, what if I I why did

1613
01:24:31,690 --> 01:24:35,610
I accept this horrible treatment
everybody around me, like when

1614
01:24:35,610 --> 01:24:38,770
literally when I was like we
broke up, my my friends were

1615
01:24:38,770 --> 01:24:42,810
like, thank Hallelujah, finally.
You know they had never liked

1616
01:24:42,810 --> 01:24:46,690
this man for years.
But I wasn't willing to listen.

1617
01:24:47,330 --> 01:24:49,130
And I just.
I wasn't ready.

1618
01:24:49,570 --> 01:24:51,370
Yeah.
And and that's the thing about

1619
01:24:51,370 --> 01:24:54,330
abusive relationships that
people need to understand

1620
01:24:54,330 --> 01:24:56,490
because I I have a lot of
friends cut me off.

1621
01:24:56,490 --> 01:24:58,730
And I know it was because it was
hard.

1622
01:24:58,730 --> 01:25:01,890
It was hard for them to see me
in pain, to see me be with

1623
01:25:01,890 --> 01:25:03,650
somebody who could do something
like this to me.

1624
01:25:03,810 --> 01:25:07,050
And for their own well-being in
mental health, I'm sure it was

1625
01:25:07,050 --> 01:25:08,570
just easier for them to
separate.

1626
01:25:08,970 --> 01:25:12,810
But the people that stood by me
and didn't make comments, you

1627
01:25:12,810 --> 01:25:16,330
know, my best friend, Maddie,
she never liked that man, but

1628
01:25:16,330 --> 01:25:20,110
she never told me anything, you
know, she always was by my side,

1629
01:25:20,430 --> 01:25:23,830
you know, So those people in
your life, it's so important to

1630
01:25:23,830 --> 01:25:26,830
have because when you're friends
who are in these, you know,

1631
01:25:26,830 --> 01:25:30,270
abusive or at least toxic
relationships, when they're

1632
01:25:30,270 --> 01:25:33,030
ready to leave, they will become
ready to leave on their own

1633
01:25:33,030 --> 01:25:35,750
accord and what they need is a
support system to back them.

1634
01:25:36,950 --> 01:25:38,710
Yeah, and that's what I tell
people now.

1635
01:25:38,710 --> 01:25:41,390
Like when people ask like, what
do I do, you know?

1636
01:25:42,180 --> 01:25:44,860
My friend's this horrible guy
and I'm like, you don't have to

1637
01:25:44,860 --> 01:25:47,100
always sit and listen to your
friend complain.

1638
01:25:47,500 --> 01:25:50,460
I was like, what you tell them
is I love you.

1639
01:25:50,740 --> 01:25:54,020
I will always be here for you.
I do not want to hear about that

1640
01:25:54,020 --> 01:25:57,820
man anymore, and that's totally
valid.

1641
01:25:58,220 --> 01:26:02,380
It can be hard to see a friend
be in so much pain, and there's

1642
01:26:02,380 --> 01:26:04,900
only so much you can do for
somebody who doesn't want to,

1643
01:26:05,420 --> 01:26:06,580
you know, make a change.
You can't.

1644
01:26:06,580 --> 01:26:09,060
You can't save people.
You can't push a dead bear up a

1645
01:26:09,060 --> 01:26:10,540
tree.
I had to.

1646
01:26:10,700 --> 01:26:13,260
I had to say it to somebody I
knew not that long ago.

1647
01:26:13,260 --> 01:26:16,980
I had to say, listen, I cannot
sit and watch you get harmed.

1648
01:26:17,060 --> 01:26:20,100
And weirdly enough, she showed
up on my doorstep.

1649
01:26:20,740 --> 01:26:22,860
He had stabbed her.
My God.

1650
01:26:23,140 --> 01:26:27,700
And I was just like, come on in.
Yeah, I used to think my story

1651
01:26:27,700 --> 01:26:31,180
was, you know, more unique.
But I've met a lot of people

1652
01:26:31,180 --> 01:26:33,830
that have been stabbed by
partners.

1653
01:26:33,830 --> 01:26:36,590
Even my current partner was
stabbed by an ex of his not in,

1654
01:26:36,670 --> 01:26:40,270
you know, such a brutal way that
I was, but her situation was

1655
01:26:40,270 --> 01:26:42,830
one.
Time and and she walked out the

1656
01:26:42,830 --> 01:26:46,510
door and I was like what do we
need to do And we we called her

1657
01:26:46,510 --> 01:26:51,710
mom and her mom showed up the
next morning and when he was at

1658
01:26:51,710 --> 01:26:54,110
work pulled all over crap out of
the house.

1659
01:26:54,510 --> 01:26:57,310
And I mean, that was what she
needed to see like experience

1660
01:26:57,310 --> 01:26:59,310
though.
And like, you know, I I had to

1661
01:26:59,310 --> 01:27:02,750
tell somebody else in my life.
I was just like, because now I'm

1662
01:27:02,750 --> 01:27:05,750
just full of all these
statistics that I've learned

1663
01:27:05,750 --> 01:27:08,270
about this from my own
experience, from things I I've

1664
01:27:08,270 --> 01:27:10,670
researched for, for the podcast
and for TikTok.

1665
01:27:11,070 --> 01:27:14,830
And I I had to tell a close
friend I was like, you know, the

1666
01:27:14,830 --> 01:27:18,270
likelihood that you're going to
die goes up about 80% when he

1667
01:27:18,270 --> 01:27:18,870
chokes you.
Yeah.

1668
01:27:19,510 --> 01:27:21,630
He's like, you just told me that
this man choked you.

1669
01:27:22,230 --> 01:27:25,870
I I can't leave that from you.
The next time, he might kill

1670
01:27:25,870 --> 01:27:28,100
you.
And I was like, I'm not going to

1671
01:27:28,580 --> 01:27:31,540
disavow you, but I'm I'm letting
you know that if you stay in

1672
01:27:31,540 --> 01:27:35,740
this situation, you're putting
yourself and your kids at risk.

1673
01:27:36,780 --> 01:27:40,140
And I don't know whether she'll
leave that situation or not.

1674
01:27:40,140 --> 01:27:41,420
But I'm not going to abandon my
friend.

1675
01:27:41,420 --> 01:27:45,380
I'm just got to tell you that I
don't like that guy and I'm not

1676
01:27:45,380 --> 01:27:47,820
all easy.
Can't come into my house, right?

1677
01:27:47,820 --> 01:27:49,300
I was.
Like exactly.

1678
01:27:49,860 --> 01:27:53,700
You can come stay here whenever
you want, but he can't come.

1679
01:27:55,590 --> 01:27:56,990
You can bring your whole.
Crew here.

1680
01:27:56,990 --> 01:27:58,830
But yeah, it's tough.
It's really hard to be on the

1681
01:27:58,830 --> 01:28:00,950
outside.
That's one of the things that

1682
01:28:01,030 --> 01:28:04,950
I've been exploring and talking
to people this this year with

1683
01:28:04,950 --> 01:28:09,510
with the the new season of the
podcast, you you have the base

1684
01:28:09,910 --> 01:28:13,350
person who experienced the
trauma, but then there's also a

1685
01:28:13,350 --> 01:28:17,470
bubble of people around that
person who also experienced

1686
01:28:17,470 --> 01:28:20,070
trauma.
So you have your neighbors who

1687
01:28:20,070 --> 01:28:21,830
were there who also got
attacked.

1688
01:28:21,990 --> 01:28:25,640
You're very close friends.
Your parents who saw you in your

1689
01:28:25,640 --> 01:28:29,320
hospital, like all of them were
affected by that moment, that

1690
01:28:29,320 --> 01:28:32,520
I'm sure the moment that both
your mom and dad saw you in that

1691
01:28:32,520 --> 01:28:35,400
hospital bed is embedded in
their brain for the rest of

1692
01:28:35,400 --> 01:28:36,920
their lives.
You're their baby.

1693
01:28:37,200 --> 01:28:41,240
And so that affects them.
That's why actually, the

1694
01:28:41,240 --> 01:28:44,440
organization that I work for,
they provide counseling not just

1695
01:28:44,520 --> 01:28:47,160
to the person who's been
assaulted, but also to like the

1696
01:28:47,160 --> 01:28:50,080
children and other household
members who were there too.

1697
01:28:50,450 --> 01:28:53,570
Because there's trauma in just
witnessing what happened to

1698
01:28:53,570 --> 01:28:55,370
somebody and nobody absolutely
about that.

1699
01:28:56,010 --> 01:28:59,170
You know, and so that outside
bubble, those other people also

1700
01:28:59,170 --> 01:29:01,450
were greatly affected.
It's not just a crime against

1701
01:29:01,450 --> 01:29:04,330
one person, right?
And and I I think that's part of

1702
01:29:04,330 --> 01:29:07,050
the reason why.
So those friends that I had

1703
01:29:07,250 --> 01:29:10,540
called for help, they did show
up, but it was after the the

1704
01:29:10,540 --> 01:29:13,500
police and the paramedics had
already arrived.

1705
01:29:13,500 --> 01:29:15,060
And so they they met me at the
hospital.

1706
01:29:15,220 --> 01:29:16,700
I've not seen them since that
day.

1707
01:29:16,940 --> 01:29:19,500
I think it was so hard for them
to see me in that hospital bed

1708
01:29:19,500 --> 01:29:22,420
looking the way I did that they
just could never face me again.

1709
01:29:23,740 --> 01:29:27,620
And even my partner, who I met
my partner years later, you

1710
01:29:27,620 --> 01:29:31,620
know, and him and I have been
together for two years now and

1711
01:29:31,780 --> 01:29:34,300
it affects him.
You know, somebody who wasn't

1712
01:29:34,300 --> 01:29:37,420
even there for when it happened,
didn't even know who I was.

1713
01:29:37,420 --> 01:29:41,350
But every time you know he
doesn't watch my tik toks when I

1714
01:29:41,350 --> 01:29:44,470
talk about it, you know, and he
knows the story and everything,

1715
01:29:44,470 --> 01:29:47,870
but it affects him so deeply it
makes him so upset to think

1716
01:29:47,870 --> 01:29:50,470
about.
Well then you also look at the

1717
01:29:50,470 --> 01:29:53,590
world, Cuz I don't talk about it
a whole lot, but after my mom

1718
01:29:53,590 --> 01:29:57,030
passed, I had a real tenuous
relationship with wanting to be

1719
01:29:57,030 --> 01:30:00,590
alive after that.
And there's a lot of feelings

1720
01:30:01,390 --> 01:30:05,870
that come from feeling that way.
There's almost like a level of

1721
01:30:05,870 --> 01:30:09,090
guilt of.
Like, there's no way he could

1722
01:30:09,090 --> 01:30:13,490
have been there to help you, but
because he loves you so much in

1723
01:30:13,490 --> 01:30:16,690
his head, he probably wishes he
could have like, and he says

1724
01:30:16,690 --> 01:30:18,690
that all the time.
He's like, I he's like, I know I

1725
01:30:18,690 --> 01:30:22,090
didn't know you, but I feel
almost guilty for not being

1726
01:30:22,090 --> 01:30:25,730
there to protect you, even
though he lived in a different

1727
01:30:25,730 --> 01:30:28,250
state when it happened.
Like, you know, all of this.

1728
01:30:28,250 --> 01:30:31,210
And I always tease him because
he's more than 10 years older

1729
01:30:31,210 --> 01:30:32,690
than me.
So I was tease him and say,

1730
01:30:32,930 --> 01:30:35,210
well, you know, it would have
been really creepy if you knew

1731
01:30:35,210 --> 01:30:37,250
me when I was 18.
Oh no.

1732
01:30:39,610 --> 01:30:40,610
Yeah.
It's weird.

1733
01:30:40,610 --> 01:30:45,970
It doesn't make sense what what
things we we take guilt for or

1734
01:30:45,970 --> 01:30:47,890
or or feelings that we have
sometimes.

1735
01:30:47,890 --> 01:30:51,490
But I think it's sweet and it
it's only my my partner's like

1736
01:30:51,890 --> 01:30:53,970
you know that hurt that you felt
years ago.

1737
01:30:53,970 --> 01:30:56,650
I wish I wish I could have been
there to help you with it.

1738
01:30:57,370 --> 01:30:58,690
Right.
But I'm like, you're here now

1739
01:30:58,690 --> 01:31:00,730
and that's that's what matters,
you know?

1740
01:31:01,050 --> 01:31:02,810
That's, yeah, that's that's all
I can hope for.

1741
01:31:02,810 --> 01:31:05,900
You're here now.
When the reverberations of of

1742
01:31:05,900 --> 01:31:10,420
some of those situations affect
me, I have someone who cares

1743
01:31:10,420 --> 01:31:12,260
about the fact that it does
affect me.

1744
01:31:12,260 --> 01:31:14,900
And that's massive.
Absolutely.

1745
01:31:16,140 --> 01:31:20,300
But yeah, Sadie, I this was
wonderful to talk to you.

1746
01:31:20,500 --> 01:31:22,820
I I think you're quite
wonderful.

1747
01:31:23,260 --> 01:31:26,060
I I love a lot of your posts
that have nothing to do with

1748
01:31:26,060 --> 01:31:28,860
this on your tech talk like we
talked about how I loved your

1749
01:31:28,860 --> 01:31:30,340
posts.
You were like, please don't call

1750
01:31:30,340 --> 01:31:32,990
me strong.
And I was like I that would hit

1751
01:31:32,990 --> 01:31:38,030
me so hard because my brain said
if I never hear that I am strong

1752
01:31:38,030 --> 01:31:41,950
another day in my life, that
would be enough times that I

1753
01:31:41,950 --> 01:31:43,230
have heard it.
I don't want to be strong.

1754
01:31:43,230 --> 01:31:47,430
I want someone to take care of
me and to feel mental and and

1755
01:31:47,470 --> 01:31:52,230
and take it.
Care of being strong is not a

1756
01:31:52,230 --> 01:31:54,230
badge of honor anymore.
It just feels like.

1757
01:31:54,700 --> 01:31:57,540
You can endure trauma.
I don't want to endure trauma

1758
01:31:57,540 --> 01:32:00,140
anymore.
I love we, Yes.

1759
01:32:00,140 --> 01:32:03,540
As a society, we almost
commemorate women and put value

1760
01:32:03,540 --> 01:32:06,860
on a women.
A woman based on how much abuse

1761
01:32:06,860 --> 01:32:09,500
she is willing to endure from a
man, right?

1762
01:32:09,620 --> 01:32:11,460
That is.
That is the badge of honor that

1763
01:32:11,460 --> 01:32:13,420
we place on women.
So I don't like to be called

1764
01:32:13,420 --> 01:32:14,740
strong.
I'm not strong.

1765
01:32:14,740 --> 01:32:17,780
I was a victim of a terrible
situation and I just kept

1766
01:32:17,780 --> 01:32:19,060
living.
Like what doesn't kill you

1767
01:32:19,060 --> 01:32:21,140
doesn't make you stronger, it
just forces you to keep

1768
01:32:21,180 --> 01:32:22,540
surviving.
Thank you.

1769
01:32:22,540 --> 01:32:25,420
Oh, my goodness.
That is exactly.

1770
01:32:26,340 --> 01:32:28,700
It's not what what doesn't kill
you make you stronger.

1771
01:32:28,700 --> 01:32:31,900
It's just Tessa.
My roommate is a friend I've had

1772
01:32:31,900 --> 01:32:36,180
now for many, many years, and
she always tells me she's she's

1773
01:32:36,180 --> 01:32:38,860
living out of spite.
Yeah, I love it.

1774
01:32:38,860 --> 01:32:39,700
Me too.
Yep.

1775
01:32:39,740 --> 01:32:42,580
And I was like, sometimes that's
what you got to do until you can

1776
01:32:42,580 --> 01:32:45,580
make it through to the place
where you are living happily.

1777
01:32:46,210 --> 01:32:49,450
Absolutely.
Just push through everything

1778
01:32:49,810 --> 01:32:53,330
until you can get to a place
where you're like, OK, I think

1779
01:32:53,330 --> 01:32:56,530
I'm happy now.
Oh, spite is so powerful.

1780
01:32:58,450 --> 01:33:01,650
Well, I hope that you have a
wonderful life with your partner

1781
01:33:01,650 --> 01:33:06,610
and your little boy, and I'll
continue to, you know, like your

1782
01:33:06,610 --> 01:33:08,450
videos on TikTok.
Awesome.

1783
01:33:08,810 --> 01:33:10,690
I appreciate you.
Thank you for letting me come on

1784
01:33:10,690 --> 01:33:13,060
and share my story.
I've been wanting to, you know,

1785
01:33:13,060 --> 01:33:15,980
be more open about this and
hopefully I can, you know, help

1786
01:33:15,980 --> 01:33:19,580
other, you know, domestic
violence victims and survivors

1787
01:33:19,580 --> 01:33:21,500
like overcome the things that
they're going through.

1788
01:33:21,500 --> 01:33:24,100
Or, you know, if I could help
somebody get out of an abusive

1789
01:33:24,100 --> 01:33:26,420
relationship because they hear
my story, like that's all I

1790
01:33:26,420 --> 01:33:28,060
want.
And so I just appreciate like

1791
01:33:28,300 --> 01:33:31,500
having the platform to be able
to speak on this.

1792
01:33:32,260 --> 01:33:35,740
So thank you.
And before we go, you can let

1793
01:33:35,740 --> 01:33:39,220
anybody know your socials so
they can find you online.

1794
01:33:39,220 --> 01:33:42,790
Yeah, so my my socials are on
everything.

1795
01:33:42,790 --> 01:33:44,870
I'm on Instagram, TikTok,
Facebook.

1796
01:33:44,870 --> 01:33:47,510
All of it is Sadie Solstice.
Or if you want to look me up by

1797
01:33:47,510 --> 01:33:49,750
my handle, it's Little Miss
Sadie.

1798
01:33:49,990 --> 01:33:56,830
But it's LILMISS.
S80S80 is my like, short term

1799
01:33:56,830 --> 01:33:58,870
for Sadie.
So that's where you can find me.

1800
01:33:58,870 --> 01:34:01,110
I'm on all the platforms.
All right.

1801
01:34:01,110 --> 01:34:03,270
Well, thank you so much for
talking to me today, Sadie.

1802
01:34:03,310 --> 01:34:06,230
And.
Thank all of you for listening.

1803
01:34:06,430 --> 01:34:08,950
You have a great weekend.
Bye.