Nika Nikoubin's delusions were so severe she didn't even know she'd commited a crime

0:00 The. Hey everybody in serial Killer country, My name is Brittany Ransom and this is When Killers Get Caught, a podcast devote to deep dives into the killers we love to learn about. But in season three we've been talking one-on-one with people who are closely linked to crimes, who have been affected by their connection to the justice system. And for the first time, we're going to speak with someone who committed a crime.

0:55 If you're here from TikTok, you probably heard my video that said that our guest today attacked her date in the middle of a pretty serious delusion. And got herself embroiled in international politics, of all things. Our guest today is Nika Nikuben and we're going to talk about her life, what happened before the attack, the attack, and what life has been like since. Thanks for coming on the podcast today, Nika. Yeah, thank you so much, Brittany, for having me on. I'm really excited to share my story and exposing my true narrative as well as talking more about how we can change the society to implement positive change in the world. That was one of the first things I was really excited to maybe be able to help you with.

1:36 Because when I was looking up articles about you, a lot of them, some of them are very salacious. Some of them are just downright offensive, right? Yeah, there is like actually inaccuracy in certain media that I've seen. I'm like, that's not true at all. Or if it is true, it's like so generalized and centralized that I'm just like, well, you know, it's trueish, but you're making it super out of context and generalized that it's no longer even accurate anymore. Well, I mean that's the way things work in the US you know, the whole if it bleeds, it leads thing. So the best thing they could do was. Let people know it was Vegas you met on Tinder and all sorts of things of that nature. But before we get into what actually happened, one of the things that I did want to talk, I guess, about was kind of your background, because I feel like none of the news articles really discussed who you are.

2:32 Yeah, for sure. Thank you so much again for giving me this platform. So I'm a Persian, half Persian, half Persian artist. I'd like to partake in different activities. I like to paint, I sang and have some music videos out there as well, and my culture is very important to me. I was actually born and raised in Iran and came to the US when I was 12. So I think that played a major role in the way I was able to like, go through school. And just my life experience is definitely shaped by the fact that I wasn't like born here and had to adjust not only to like a different language. I barely spoke in English and I moved to the US So that was a huge challenge for me. But not only that, it was hard, right? Not only that, but culturally it, it was completely different. You know, when we talk about culture differences, like if you live in LA and you come to Dallas, TX, you can see a culture shock.

3:29 Now imagine moving from a different country. So it was just, you know? You're 23 right now, right? Yeah, I'm 23. So we're talking 11 years ago, I mean Iran, 11 years ago. I mean, it's a completely different place. I remember being in I think middle school and I'm a lot older than you. So. And I remember there was a, a girl we went to school with who was from Iran and she had all these beautiful pictures of what her home looked like it and where she came from and things of that nature. And then, of course, a couple years later, the whole. 911 happens and then the well, we we don't have to talk about the validity of the assault on the Middle East because it's not that valid. But, you know, all these these beautiful places were destroyed. I mean, did you witness any of that when you were little? Yeah.

4:26 I mean, there is a lot of different factors that played in that role. You know, I like to think of my family as very, like modern understanding just because, you know, amazing people. I love the people, Iran and Persian people. I think they're one of the most wonderful people, amazing culture, amazing food. But I will say I'm not the biggest fan of the government just because I do think that it just puts a lot of limitations on its people. And you know, they're just looking for different aspects of international politics that, you know, I'm not an expert on, but I just think it doesn't. It puts another burden on the Iranian people.

5:06 So having to go through that, I've actually seen the green movement. I was in the street, I was a teenager when people would hold up peace signs and having a green flags in the green revolution. So having to kind of experienced that and see that on a personal level when I was a teenager, I think that really did kind of shape the narrative and my understanding of like, wow, you know, there's a lot of limitations that are put on the people and I wish there was waiting for, waiting for us to be able to implement that change. So you come here, it's 2012, pretty much around that time period. Yes, your your your peak is the beginning of adolescence. I mean, you already said there was a language barrier. You struggled with that.

5:54 And I work with little kids and it's really hard with like three and four year olds who don't speak English. So I can't imagine how much more difficult it would have been for you to be in middle school. Yeah. So it was definitely a challenging experience for sure. I was literally carrying out in a dictionary with me everywhere and like sometimes accidentally, I'm just so used to speaking in Persian that I would actually start speaking Persian to my teachers or my friends and I'm like, ohh sorry, like I'm just used to speaking that language. So it was definitely challenge on that part. The one thing that was beneficial though is I don't know, I think the Iranian education system was a little bit different.

6:36 So everything I was learning in right around 7th and 8th grade was actually things that I've learned, already learned before. I just had to relearn them in a different language. So I I was fortunate enough to have that educational background that kind of helped me, but it was still challenging in its own ways for sure. What about friends and meeting, you know, young people in the US? Yeah, I mean, I still have some friends that I've actually met in middle school, like one of my really good friends, Tori. She was the one who actually give me a tour at the school from middle school and I still talk to her. So, yeah, so we, I do have some connections. And there were some people that really did assist and were able to be super friendly to me, even though I was not exactly the best person to communicate with because I, you know, language barrier. But I think especially going into a Coed school because in Iran there's no such thing as a Coed middle school. So yeah, So that was one of the other things. I'm like, boys.

7:39 How do you even talk to them? What even is sex? I had no idea. And like, you know, just going through all kinds of emotions and like being like, wow, I just saw my classmate get pregnant at 7th grade. That was a huge shock to me. Oh wow, Yeah. How did your parents kind of deal with those sort of things happening at school? Yeah, that's why I was only going to this specific middle school. I was going to for a year and then they ended up transferring me over to an all girls magnet high school slash middle school. So yeah, so I ended up moving from that school. But again, I think that one year experience definitely kind of like was a huge culture shock for me.

8:24 Not only language, culture, boys. Everything and in between. I mean even without the culture shock, the the phrase how do I even talk to boys? I think a lot of people can identify with at that age. There's there's a lot of instability between I feel like 12 and 16 as who you are and right who you're supposed to be or become. But you end up going to this all girls school. Just one of the memories I remember from going to that middle school is that I think somebody asked me like have you had sex yet? Or so many along those lines And I answered yes, my password says female. That's like that was basically my understanding of like, sex at that point.

9:08 So. Oh gosh, you know what's funny at that? I think I was about 13 and somebody asked my best friend, does she suck blank? And I was so offended. That I don't think I talked to that kid for like the next like 10 years. I think I saw him recently when I went back to my like parents home and I was just like, I just nodded. But I was offended that he would even ask in the 1st place. So I think that's something that nobody should be asking a 13 year old about, right? But you graduate from. Did you graduate from the girls school? Yeah, that's where I went to for my 8th grade slash choice in my high school. It was a it's in magnets middle school slash high school like college preparatory school was a really good school. I had a great experience there.

9:58 I would say you know I had good grades graduated on top of my class, was class president, was involved in cheerleading all the clubs you can name it. I've been on their big club and everything. So I was super involved and I like to think I had a very outgoing personality. I. Would definitely say you do. Yeah, for sure. Thank you. Now one of the things that you told me was that your mental issues started shortly after that, right? So I like to think like, you know, it was kind of challenging to acclimate to language and culture and stuff like that. But I think I was given good opportunities and had good friends that helped me get acclimated.

10:42 And you know, the start of it was really just summer before freshman year of college where I fortunately had a traumatic experience. And, you know, it's hard for me to kind of talk about it. And I'm sure there's many different women that would feel the way I felt during that time. But also coming from Persian culture, I like to say it's a little bit different just because I do think that, you know, in Western culture or United States, we're more accepting and we're learning more and more what it's like to be a victim of sexual assault. But especially coming from Persian culture where you're like it's very strict and rigid and like you should. Marriage is like seen as a very big thing reputation and a lot of people like will straight up not even consider you marriage material if you're not a virgin.

11:35 And going through that kind of like cultural mindset. Plus, having this traumatic experience, it was super, super hard for me to deal with to the point that I I honestly didn't even tell my parents until a year after it happened where I was so struggling so much with mental health that I was self medicating and I was like, you know what, I I actually need some help and this is kind of like causing me trouble. Right. Because I mean, you, you're trying to start school. I mean, this should be a really exciting, wonderful moment in your life. And instead, well, I guess how was that first year of school for you then? It was very tough.

12:19 I will say that because, you know, I came from a background where I had all A's and graduated top of my class and gave the commencement speech at the graduation. So I had like B's and C's in my classes, didn't really pay attention because it was just super hard for me to focus. Not only that, but also I was part of the debate team at the college I was attending, which I had previous experience from high school debating. So and the person who I had this traumatic experience was I had to see him almost every day because we were on the same team. So yeah, just and he had a very good reputation and you know, doing really well on the team. So there was a lot of like politics slash power play, Like should I speak out?

13:04 Like how do I deal with this? I'm having flashbacks. I'm going to the bathroom in middle practice crying like it was just a lot of different moments that I'm like, you know, I should have probably said something sooner and I'm voicing my story just because I'm sure there's somebody else who's might be in similar shoes than me. And I would really hate for them to, like, go along this long without seeking treatment and starting the healing process. I mean, even if you don't have any underlying mental health issues, just the trauma. Alone would be enough that you would need to reach out for somebody or some someone to talk to, right? And then to add on that this guy is popular and you have to see him almost every day.

13:54 That's terrible. Yeah. And it got really bad, to the point that I was, like, hallucinating, Hallucinating. This is where I initially started, hallucinating his face, like every, every, almost every guy on campus I would see. I would think it's him. And when I say like I think it was, it wasn't like he looks kind of like a no. It was like literally I was like hallucinating 100% his face on other people. So it was very kind of hard for me to like comprehend because in my eyes it looked like 5 people with the same face. But I was like, there's no way that that's that's the same person, but also like, how do I fix the situation, you know?

14:36 No, I don't have any personal experience with. This side of mental illness, like the things that I I deal with are a little more of the, like silent ones. You know, people kind of suffer in silence, but how are you making it through like your classes and stuff Then at this point, Amanda, you said you were still getting B's and Z's, but I think that's commendable for what you're going through. Yeah, honestly, it was just, I was doing the absolute bare minimum. And, you know, because I had such a great educational background coming in, I'm honestly kind of surprised that I even, like, was able to get like passing grades at that point.

15:18 Because, you know, I loved studying. Like school is something I enjoyed. I'm a nerd, like, you know, So it was just kind of like hard because one of my passions was school and it was just so hard for me to focus and like actually pay attention in class that it definitely did impact like my grades and the way I was performing in classes. So what? I mean, what happens next in terms of this? Did you stay in the debate club? Yeah, so in debate. We traveled nationally a lot for competitions and I ended up getting becoming very good friends with the UC Berkeley debate team. And you know, I didn't disclose a lot of my situation, but I was just like, hey, like I would love to like come debate for Y'all's team and I'm a really hard worker and even as a freshman I was making really good arguments and was able to place in competitions and stuff.

16:14 So after speaking to the Berkeley team, I was able to transfer over and moved to Berkeley, CA and was able to debate on their team and I gladly left the college I was attending for my freshman year. So it kind of gave me an escape in a way. But also reminder, I just still hasn't haven't had any treatment or professional help for healing at that point. So you know, I was still kind of going through all of that even though like I moved to a new school and a new state. So it was kind of better and like I had like great support system.

16:56 The Berkeley team was absolutely amazing and very friendly and everything. But I was still kind of like struggling mentally and not healing the the hallucinations and the delusions that I had at that point. Plus like severe depression that was kind of very are. You still wearing me down? Are you still seeing the face of your attacker at Berkeley? I was not. And, you know, I think it was just my mind was just a sodium associating that specific campus with that person. Because I was like, there's no way, like, I don't know how. I'm not a psychologist, but thankfully in Berkeley I did not. I I still had some delusions and hallucinations, but it wasn't to the level of like seeing his face everywhere or being in the troubled state of mind that I wouldn't be able to, you know, work and go to school.

17:46 Now you said that you were self medicating when you were at your first university. Did that continue at Berkeley? Cuz that's a lot of pressure. You get to college, you got this debate team, you're placing in competitions and you said you're working. So I mean, yeah, so I just kind of like relied on different forms of self medication to just being able to survive. I want to recommend that. It was like a temporary fix. It was basically just putting a Band-Aid on a broken bone, if I'm being quite honest, yeah. So we go through sophomore June year, senior year. You graduate? Yeah. So I graduated from Berkeley and then I actually wanted to transfer over for UCLA for my second degree.

18:33 Mmhmm. But um, COVID head and. Right. And then I'm like, ohh, no. Like what do I do? I mean, we didn't. Help any of our mental health issues, right. Yeah. So I think COVID was kind of like the big hallmarks of me going into very, very troubled state of mind because I had all this unhealed trauma that I was able to do semi. OK, yeah, shwid with like self medication and like having friends and support system. But when COVID had I I was a I was like moving back to Dallas, which is where my parents decided to move. While I was in California. I was no longer able to continue within my process. I lost my job and my friends, my support system. So it's basically taking away all the little things that were able to at least help me survive and at least be able to continue on.

19:31 And it just I'm, I just broke down. Honestly, there was nights where I would just cry uncontrollably and my parents would be so concerned or like what happened? Like, are you OK? Like they were super concerned about me and I would sometimes even fight them because I didn't want to tell them what happened and I was just trying to put the blame on them. So they were just like confused and they're like we don't know what it is, the situation. And then that's when I disclosed to them of what has happened and when I actually started to seek mental health treatment for my condition. Yeah. And that helped for a little bit, I would say definitely was useful. But again, it was online.

20:16 And you know, I think mental health is good to like be online, but for my situation specifically, I think. More comprehensive care would have been needed or like in person kind of thing would have been better situated for that type of no no, sorry for sure. I'm just sitting here and I'm. I'm listening to what you're saying and like so much of it feels familiar to me, but in a different way. I experienced that moment in my life too, where you're like, I've got, I'm doing it. I am handling things. And then one little thing happens and then you just drop everything. You're like, I'm handling nothing. I can't do anything.

20:58 I don't know what to do anymore. I guess at my like low point, I think I was seeing a therapist like 3 * a week. How? I mean, you said it was online, so I don't think. I don't know if that would have been no, I don't think that would have helped me either. I don't think that really helped many people, being able to only see people online. I know for some people they really like it. Yeah, I mean, if it works for your situation and if you're able to get the treatment that you need, everybody situation is different. So I'm not saying online threat therapy doesn't work, but in my opinion, in my personal situation it was not very helpful. Right. But you do tell your parents what happened to you and how are they about it? Because I know you said among, you know, traditional Persian people, they're really intense about virginity and things like that.

21:46 But your parents super supportive. Yeah. So I do have, I'm very fortunate to have loving and supporting parents. Honestly, looking back, even with the biggest situation, I'm like not many parents would do the things my parents did. And they were shocked obviously, and they were understanding to a level. But they also was, they were like, very aware of how this situation looks within the Persian community and with its contacts. So, you know, they were like, OK, well, we're gonna get you treatment, but we're gonna kind of stay hush, hush on the situation and try to not make it a big thing, OK?

22:27 Because there were like if any of the other family members went out or any like friends or other people, it might cause some like reputation damage to our family. But given that, you know, my story kind of went global with Vegas and my mental health struggle kind of really worse, right? I can't really hide it. Plus, like I looking back, if I were to get, if I were to, had proper treatment on time even like after Berkeley or before Berkeley, I don't even think the situation in Vegas would have happened in the 1st place, no. Absolutely. I mean that's one of the big things about this. I know that, you know, some of the articles I looked at were like, oh, she got away with this, this horrible crime. And I'm like, I I think this is one of the few cases in the world where a judge actually stopped and looked at everything and went hold up Before we row this girl to the wolves, can we take into account her life is which we should do in every case like this?

23:34 Yeah, that. Fortunately, they don't always. But you know, but we we we're jumping ahead. Because we're not. I guess we're almost near Vegas. But so you get the initial amount of mental health care, right? Just wanna it wasn't. Good for you. Yeah, because it was like I said, it wasn't really in person. And one thing I do regret is I was kind of resistant to, like, psychiatric care because from my perspective, I thought it just limited my creativity. And I had a delusion that, like, psychiatric pills are actually poison. And when I've talked about this delusion that I've had with other people that have similar conditions to me and they're like, I literally had the same delusion as you like.

24:23 So it's not very uncommon for people who have certain mental health conditions to have falsified beliefs about what those psychiatric treatment and what those pills do to your body. Because, you know, just like the same way you would take antibiotics to for an infection, you sometimes need certain medications for your mental health treatment. But in my in my thought process of that time, I thought the pills were gonna do more damage than good and that they were gonna some like somehow harm me or limit my creativity, which is super untrue and just my personal bias at that time. So I mean that's 2020, we're still two years before Vegas, right?

25:12 Or is it yes or one year? Yeah, one year before the attack in Vegas happens. What does life look like for you now? You know, we're kind of sort of opening up a little bit. Yes, definitely. Do you go right back into school or so I continued my school and UCLA, but it was all online and I just couldn't focus when it came to online school. And I know many other students, although still felt the same way. Unless it's not just online. You're isolated from everybody and like every You can't even go to the grocery store more than like you were needed. And you're getting stressed out about washing your hands too many times and it was just very kind of like a hectic situation to deal with overall.

26:05 So I think all of us have experienced some kind of mental health struggle relating to COVID. So combining that with my previous experiences, it was kind of like hard to deal with. But I'm glad that the, that I was able to start working. And you know, this is when, like COVID was less of a concern, I would say. And yeah, and I was just wanting to continue with my life, honestly. But my mental health got so bad at some point that I was fired from my job because I was like literally hallucinating during my job and like couldn't like do the performance as that I was doing in the past and ended up dropping out of school because I failed all my classes and went to a mental health facility for 10 days.

27:00 And this is all like a month prior to me going to Vegas. OK, so you leave the facility. What makes you go to Vegas? Yeah. So during that time I thought the hallucinations and the delusions were rooted around Dallas because whenever I moved from from Lubbock to California it kind of semi fixed it or like I I just thought it was a problem with the state I was living in and I was resistant to treatment. Even though I took my medications for the time that I was in the hospital after I was released, I was still not wanting to stay in my medication. And we had like this huge fight with my parents and I just wasn't in a good state of mind.

27:52 And I was just like, you know what? What is my optimal goal in life? And I really want to become a singer. So. And I had one of my friends who I met through college who lived in Vegas and she was like, hey, girl, like, come to my apartment, I'll let you stay here. Um, like until you find a job so you can like, you know, explore options of like, pursuing the music career and then ended up connecting to DJs and this different voice teachers who were like, yeah, you should definitely come move here. So, um, I did your friend know about my mental health? Mmhmm. She knew. And I don't think I told her about the severity of it because she knew about the whole, like traumatic experience and all the I was in. But in her, I think in her understanding, I wasn't as severe as it would cause harm to myself and others. Yeah.

28:49 So I think that was definitely concerning for sure. But yeah, so given that my intent was just to get a job for super and music, that was the reason why I moved to Vegas in the 1st place. And I'm probably going to regret this rest of my life. But it did unfortunately lead to an unfortunate circumstance where somebody did get harmed and you know, there is no way I can return back. I don't have a time machine, but I can accept responsibility and I can maybe speak about my situation, so hopefully others would relate to it and it wouldn't happen in a different circumstance. Or if you're struggling with mental health, definitely seek treatment.

29:39 And don't think your pills are poisoned because you know, in the long run they do provide like the adequate care for certain conditions. Well, it's. It's so tough because you probably needed more than 10 days, but I don't know if this is your case, but in a lot of the situations that I've covered in some of my other cases where people. It'll ultimately kill someone. They get kicked out or like the insurance company goes, all right, that's enough. We're not going to pay for anything more. And the person could have used more, you know, comprehensive healthcare for much longer. I don't know if that's. Your situation, But I know that that's a lot for a lot of people in the US Not everybody has great health insurance even like the free healthcare doesn't fully cover everything. Not those kind of stays.

30:30 They're super expensive. And I know you told me that you threw away all your medication the day you got to Vegas because you thought they were poison. So, right, yeah, I think there's a lot of different things that need to be changed. Fortunately, I was not in the circumstance that you were describing, although I totally resonate with that. And I think there needs to be more Affordable Care, especially when it comes to creating more safety in society and providing treatment to people like me who might need it, you know? And you're so You were so young too. Right. And not only that, I do think that there needs to be even like better after care.

31:13 So if you're released from the hospital, there should be some kind of program like, hey, are you still on your medication? Like just, I don't know, I'm not a policymaker. But no, no. Also kind of like with. A a like you have a sponsor, You have a person who calls you. Hey, are you alright? What? Because you're supposed to call that person if you have, you know, thoughts about drinking. Again, I'm like maybe there could be somebody who you could call if you're you're having super depressive thoughts or you know, something along those lines, you could talk to someone, but you're kind of all on your own, right? And I know there are like resources out there and there's hotlines that you can call and stuff, but they're not like as resourceful as I would say to like physical health. Like if you go and have a surgery, your doctor's going to make an appointment for you to come to end. But I've never seen that happen for like mental health. So I think just the same way we would treat physical illnesses and physical wellbeing, we should be able to treat mental as well.

32:15 No? I agree with. You 100% And so this takes us now it's March 2022, right? You decide to go on a. Dating app and talk to somebody. Yeah. And at that point, I was just like so depressed and lonely and I was just honest, trying to just connect with somebody. And I have like, friends that I would talk to, but I just found it super difficult to relate on a romantic level. And on that specific night, I honestly just gave up and was like, you know what? If these guys don't find conversations interesting or they don't wanna, like, connect with me on a cognitive level, I'm just gonna like have fun and see where that goes from there, which is a very bad mindset. I will say that.

33:03 But you know, just providing context of like, definitely not. Great, right. But yeah, so that was like, I didn't have any, like it was like bad intentions. Like, ohh, I'm gonna go into stating out and cause harm. No, it was just honestly, I was just lonely and was trying to just go on a date and you know from some of the. Articles that I read, they said that you were already fully in a delusion before you're well, I guess. I don't like call. I guess it's the victim in this situation. Daniel Trevino, before he even arrived, you said that you looked in a mirror and you thought you were in a movie, right.

33:48 So even like the first week that I was in Vegas, I was working at Hooters as a Waitres. And you know, like in Vegas especially, you see the TV screens, the slot machines, like looking at them like it literally, yeah, the lights were like absolutely driving me like crazy because it was just all the playing in my mind. No, I never. Thought about that before? Wow. So in your head, like some of those lights, like the, the and the sounds of the slot machines, are they paparazzi? In a way, that's kind of like what it was feeling like to me, especially like whenever we were checking into the hotel.

34:30 I really thought, this is a movie. Like, I was in a delusional state of mind. I was imagining, like, there was a camera behind me recording everything. And like, I'm an actress in this movie that I'm playing. And and what you were referring to is whenever Daniel went downstairs to grab some chaser with her alcohol and, you know, I looked in the mirror and I'm like, this is like I was starting, like to hallucinate like I'm playing a role in a scene from the movie The also done. And I'm still my Hayek. I was imagining a snake around my shoulders. And when I'm saying it right now, it sounds a little crazy. And you're like, there's no way there could just be a snake on your shoulder. But you know, when you're in that state of mind, it absolutely is 100% real to that person. And it was 100% real to me.

35:21 If someone were to walk in, if my mom were to walk in at that moment or like there's not a snake in your shoulders, I'd be like, no, there's no way. Like you're lying. I wouldn't believe them. You know, and. So you said one of the things you told me in our Pre interview is that you were definitely still using multiple substances, drinking a lot during right pre. The attack in the hotel room. So you're having delusions. You're not. Even if you were not having delusions, you're not sober, right? And then? As the two of you start to hook up, you stabbed him. Do you remember that at all? I do have like a brief, like anemia from the whole experience.

36:09 Even whenever I was in custody, I wasn't fully comprehending like what actually happened. I actually had to hear from my own attorneys that XYZ happened. So wow. And you know, being the medications I was on, it's not like you just take it one day and you're like, OK, well, Delusion's gone. He was gone. And some of the withdrawals are right for sure. So like withdrawals from the like alcohol and drugs plus like going cold Turkey on my medication and then going back on my medication and the medications take at least three weeks for it to like be falling in your system and it works. So it did take me a little bit for me to like fully comprehend.

36:51 That's why I went through like a competency hearing and reporting where like I was diagnosed with schizophrenia from the doctors of the custody at that point. So, you know it is kind of hard for me to remember but also being told by my attorneys reading the news articles, which I don't think they're all accurate, but you know, just like trying to see and comprehend what I actually said, you know one of the things that. The. Really. Which I thought was in poor taste, was them posting the picture of you, like wrapped up in a hotel sheet?

37:32 In the hallway of the hotel and I'm just like, do we need to see that, right? Yeah, I yeah, I was not like in a good state of mind, but also I thought it was kind of like troublesome to kind of post that kind of video online. I understand it's public record and everything, but I don't know. I thought it wasn't necessary. Let's put the the pretty girl who did something bad half naked on our new site, right? And the other thing is there was zero female officers during the entire integration integration as well. So I was interviewed by three police officers as well as Homeland Security that came afterwards, and there was no female still undressed while they're. Talking to you, the police officers, I was covered in a bed sheet and I was writing nothing but a bad book and I did ask them multiple times, can I remove this? It's making me a little uncomfortable and they straight up said no, so are you kidding?

38:41 Yeah, Wow. See now? That is not something that was mentioned in any of the articles that I read about you. And that's wild, see. Yeah, you. Yes, you. You did the bad thing at the time, and they had no idea why you did the bad thing. But I mean, we have all these conversations over and over again in this country about treating people in custody with respect and dignity, and they definitely did not do that for you, right? And like, whenever Homeland Security, you're right. For my second interview, I was just given like just a large tshirt and that's it. So what?

39:21 OK. So I'm sure no one really understands why Homeland Security just brought into right so. Do you want to explain that to the listeners how that happened? Yeah. So when the police were interrogating me at the initial interview, I they asked me why I did it and I said for revenge and I named a guy that is military leader from Iran. So which is known as a pretty, I would say negatively perceptive like person known as a, you know, I'm not going to say the word, but you can do your research I think.

40:07 I think the quotes. That I saw said that you said it was because of spite and revenge, and then you said, I mean the US killed Soleimani. Lots of blood spilled. So I feel like it's fair that American blood be spilled. And at the time you said that you thought you were in the TV show Homeland, and so that they were just you. You were really going with the this is a TV show about terrorism and stuff like this, right? Like I. Thought I was some kind of secret agent and this is a role I'm playing and apparently they want me to still saying like my role and they don't want me to remove the butt plug even though it's left from the last scene. Like I was just trying to comprehend what was going on because it was just so unreal to me and.

40:51 You know, to be clear, like I absolutely do not support what I said politically during that interrogation. And I love America. What? You said, right? Yeah. I was just in such a troubled state of mind. I've had doctors, psychologists, multiple people, not only from the ones that my attorney recommended, but from the state of Nevada as well that that had. The validations on me and they all concluded that I had absolutely no ties to a terroristic organization nor did I have the beliefs that I said during that, you know, interview and that I was basically just staying gibberish. And and within the delusion of me being carried from Homeland, which Carrie also has like bipolar disorders or I kind of like related to her in some ways. I think that kind of provides a better context of like why I said that.

41:47 And you know, just to provide better explanation, I'm not justifying what I did or what I said at all. But hey, like, I'm just saying that's why I said what I said. So you got all these people interrogating you Now we have Homeland Security come in, they do an interrogation. I'm sure they're ripping through every item you own, every piece of Internet or, you know, your phone, your computer, everything they can to try and figure out, do you have any ties to terrorist organizations? Stuff like that. But you're in prison at this point when all this is going on and you're still not medicated, right? Yeah. So I had, I was in jail at that time and you know, they had everything I had.

42:31 They had access to everything. And they Homeland Security also concluded I had no ties to terrorist organization. It was like an isolated incident. So I think it's important to point that out because I'm sure they do very good comprehensive analysis. They do pretty serious, you know, like checks. Right. You know, like I worked for the feds for about a year and a half and the amount that they look into your history is intense. So I I think they they went all in probably, right? Like if there. Was 1% of anything that would have tied me, they would have said so. They would have found it. I mean, you weren't exactly hiding anything about your life really at that point, right? So you said that they did a competency hearing. When was that I?

43:20 Think that was a few weeks into me being in custody. And you know, at that point I was told by my attorney what happened. I had phone calls with my parents and was able to stand my medication on a routinely level and I was. You know, I realized what I did, and it was traumatic to me even, like, ever had countless nights in custody that I would cry uncontrollably because I regretted what I did. And I'm like, there's no way I did this. I was in denial. And I'm like, but everybody's saying you did it and I'm like, OK, well, you know, life just sometimes takes either roller coaster and sometimes an unfortunate circumstance happens and. What I can do from it is to realize what I did, stay on my medication and try to make a positive outcome from it. And I'm very fortunate and thankful that the judge was able to realize the full comprehensive analysis of my background, but also the doctor's reports to reports from Homeland Security and everything that I've done in the past year while I was on house arrest, which included working full time.

44:34 Going to school, volunteering and just staying good on my treatment and really do making a change in my lifestyle. Well, one of the things that I thought was pretty poignant was that you said that it was about six weeks before you sort of came out of this fog. Right. Were you still detained at that point? Or I I know at some point they allowed you to go home to your parents. Yeah, 6. Weeks is whenever I was released from custody is OK. Whenever like they had the determination that I had enough incompetency to be able to you know realize what I did and understand the charges against me.

45:18 OK, how? I mean I understand you're you said you you're crying a lot. You feel terrible before what you've done. You you head back home there while the case is pending and your lawyers doing his thing and or their thing and you know dealing with the state of Nevada. Did you just decide you were going to try and, like, be busy while the fate of your life kind of hung in the balance? I just thought like it would be good to just, you know, obviously seek treatment, but also I wanted to continue with my life and you know. I'm really glad we're doing this podcast because September was a suicide prevention month. And you know, even if you are in a super dark state of mind, it's always good to have a positive outlook. And like, you know, even if you are in a very dark place and you have an unfortunate circumstance and stressful events like I had like I had, there's always ways to look for the future and staying optimal.

46:22 OK. So you decide you're going to reenroll in school, go work full time, volunteer. But one of the things that I saw said that your university realized what was going on and stopped you from attending classes on campus. Yeah, so. It was banned from campus and you know it was a very non good. Kind of experience because, you know, like I said, I love school and this is a school that my dad was a professor at, so imagine that. Wow. OK, Yeah, so. There is just no questions within the application process that had any questions regarding if I had any charges I would have fully disclosed that you know the only thing they ask is if you've been convicted and that's. For if you get federal funds from the government but you can still go to school with a conviction. They just don't want to give you money for it. So they have no idea until this becomes like news again because it was big news when it happened. I remember like kind of because like I have like a ticker of of I get notifications of things of crimes happening. And I was definitely more interested in the, the part where you you said you were getting revenge on a drone strike.

47:41 That's what kind of piqued my interest when I first saw it. But then it kind of falls off everybody's radar. How did they even find out? Yeah. So music was one of the passions that I had and it was the main reason why I even moved to the Vegas in the 1st place and. I was fortunate that I was working with a really good studio and was working on different albums and music videos and it was part of my employment, you know, like I was allowed to work during house arrest, but. Like some people within my campus discovered my identity, I would say, with some Google searches from my music. And OK, yeah, so then they reported it to the campus police and it just kind of became like a big scandalous thing.

48:26 Girl on house harasser. There goes right like girl on house. Harass goes to do music videos and police don't know that's the headlines. But that's not. Right. Which is like kind of not true because I checked with my attorney, it was legitimate employment. I checked with my house arrest GPS company, like they gave, like they fully knew. I do not know how that police didn't have any ideas that I was making music videos, let alone like attending a college campus. So OK, I'm honestly trying to figure out how that happened in the media. But it was. It was a second wave of media, I would say, that kind of made my story trickle back into the new cycle. The other thing too is, I mean, like, I get on one hand wanting to feel safe or whatever, but the other hand is like, they were like, she lives here with her parents and she goes to this school and I'm like, yeah, just give this girls whole everything.

49:30 I mean, I know Texas is a big place, but I don't know if the city that they listed in the articles is a big place. Geez. Yeah. And like looking back right now, I don't know if you heard of the different cases of like people who are facing criminal charges who are able to attend campus like Alex Trevino or Alex Trevino. I'm not sure if I'm saying her name correctly, but I'm like there is or different accusations where the same school. Allowed somebody to attend campus on a rape charge, and they ended up getting convicted and going to prison for 20 years. And I'm like, yeah, so I'm like, OK, well, given the back history of here, why am I the exception of like, not being able to attend campus?

50:17 I'm not saying that all people facing charges should be able to attend school, but I do think that I think the background of my specific case was kind of looked. Overlooked in a way, because I don't think the decision for me to get kicked out of school was a justified 10 K So essentially we come up to this year. I mean, a judge determines that you're not a risk and that there were extenuating circumstances in your attack and put you on probation for three years, that's also that was a pretty big deal too. I mean, people were expecting everyone to kind of throw the book at you, right? And being.

51:02 Initially charged with attempted murder. It's not a like it's not a misdemeanor. It's it's a very serious charge and for the attempted murder charge to be dropped and you know for me to be on probation, it was, it said that very settled essentially. Yeah. I mean, so I. Did I did take a guilty plea agreement? So the 10 murder charge was dropped and I pled guilty to two counts of false imprisonments, which is like a category B felony, I believe. Correct. Check on this. But but yeah, I'm like, it's all good legal jargon. I don't. Know, But yeah, so just. Being able to work with and that context given the amount of evidence within doctors, investigators were saying that this was an isolated incident.

51:51 I had 0 criminal history before this. I had great grades. I was a positive contributing member of society and was just not on my medication and was not in the right mind when this incident happened. So if the judge thought that like if. Driver to continue on this positive path that I'm on Corey late. Then I would be able to essentially have a second chance, and I'm really grateful that I was afforded one. One of the things I've seen people say, not just about your case, but other people in this state, they go, well, what happens if this person stops taking their meds again? How do we feel safe?

52:33 What's your response to that? So under one of my conditions on probation is that I must stay on my treatment regimen. So my doctor writes reports from my probation officer that yes, she is in fact coming to my or attending the sessions that we're having. And I do routinely get drug tested not only to make sure I'm not taking illicit drugs, but also that there's enough drugs in my assistant that. I'm supposed to be taking, so I do think that there's a lot of precautions and systems in place for me to ensure that I do stay on my meds, okay. I mean, that should hopefully make anyone at your school feel, I guess, a little bit more comfortable, right? Yeah, that's where I guess things start to change for you. I mean, you decide to write a book. Yeah, so.

53:28 Because of like legal advice and my attorneys, we were not allowed to or I was not allowed to like speak on this matter or my background when mental health because they wanted to settle this legally. And then when my case was closed, I realized there is just so many inaccuracies in the media, and there's so many ways that are my story is reshaped and reform essentialized that. Doesn't really fully capture what actually happened. And I wanted to kind of tell my own narrative and the true story of what had happened not only during that night, but also providing context of Iran and how I moved to the United States being an immigrants in America and just providing a more comprehensive narrative on my story. And, you know, maybe it'll inspire others. That's.

54:23 Nothing is impossible in life that you can achieve anything you send your mind into, but also how important it is to have discussions of mental health and being able to spotlight those stories. One of the main things that I've actually faced pretty recently is that I've talked to some different news stations and news outlets and they do an interview on me and I'm focusing the. Talking more about awareness on mental health and when I'm not answering those centralized questions like what color was the knife They're kind of like taking back and they don't ended up reporting on it or releasing the interview. So that just says a few things. One media just wants to report on whatever they want to report on. And also they're don't want to report on important topics such as mental health comprehensively sometimes in my opinion, because I'm like.

55:15 Well, I'm refusing the questions that are like not relevant nor important. Silly, too, because that's something that's a detail that was mentioned hundreds of times. They know what color the knife was. I I don't know what getting you to say it out loud would do for the interview process, but they take it as a sign that you're not being compliant and then they just don't show the interview. Or I'm not. Giving them like the kind of story that would make it. Quote UN quote. Interesting to their viewer. I don't know. They want the they want the sexy, the sexy story, right? And, well, that's not what this is. This isn't, this isn't a sexy, you know, situation. Yes, you you were beginning the process of getting intimate with someone when the attack happened, which was a big thing that all the news outlets made sure to mention. Right.

56:11 But I don't think if there were needs, if there were gonna be continued reporting on it like the main take away should be mental health like absolutely. I don't think it does it any good to just reiterate what was already said. Well, and also the thing too is another thing that people kind of forget is that there is a another person involved in this case and and he has to see all these things. You know if he looks up his name, it's connected to your name from now on. And how I would, you know, how would you feel if if you were the victim of a crime and then you know there's a a sexy Hallmark, not Hallmark. What's that one channel that makes all those movies that are kind of it might be Hallmark. I got a sexy Hallmark movie about the day that you almost died.

56:59 That would feel terrible, right? Like, that's one of the things that keeps popping up in true crime conversations this year is that there needs to be more respect for, like, victims, families and everybody involved. Like, yes, you are watching this and I guess yes, it is entertainment, but there's a way that you can do it and not be gross. Right, exactly. And so the name of your book is Who is Nika Nakubin? A bloody Las Vegas hotel story. And that's where you want to try and set the record straight. Yeah. For. Sure. Yeah, I wanted to.

57:40 Kind of spot like my story, like I've said and provide a better narrative that was portrayed in the media because I don't think they've done it accurately nor that they fully comprehended comprehensively provided context for certain matters and but also a portion of their proceeds does go to the National Mental Health Alliance. You know, I'm not a, I'm not a lawyer, I'm not a policy maker. But if there's anything I can do my power to. Implement positive change in society. I would help to see it and I've actually had a book signing event at Barnes and Noble this this past weekend, which was a super great turn around.

58:22 And I'm honestly kind of blown away by the amount of support that people have had for me and being able to sell all the installed copies that in less than an hour and everybody showing on and showing support. It honestly kind of made my world especially. Because I've had, like, high school people who have said negative things about me on the Internet when it first initially happened, and then they reached out to me, they were like, they were apologizing and saying, Oh my gosh, I read your book. I I understand what you're going through. I'm so glad you seek treatment. So, you know, if that's the impact I'm getting from publishing this book, I think it has done a lot of good for sure. No, that's great. And I mean, I know you said that music is just like a hobby for you.

59:06 And really what you want to focus on right now is a another degree, this time in psychology. Yeah, so. Yeah, I'm studying psychology and I'm doing music as like a hobby right now. If we were to give in an opportunity to pursue it full time, I can definitely like think about it. But I'm like kind of exploring my options at the moment and I really do want to finish up my degree in psychology and. I can speak about my personal experience and my knowledge from like educational institutions, from psychology to better comprehensively. I think you have just a unique perspective as someone who has the diagnosis that you have now. I originally saw that it was schizophrenia, depression and bipolar disorder.

59:54 Is that still accurate? Because I know, sometimes things change, right? So I was diagnosed with PTSD as well, but I've gone like EMDR treatments. But ohh okay. Yeah, so. But right now my most updated would probably be like bipolar in schizophrenia and depression. But you know, they're very manageable. Like, I haven't had a single episode in the past year, so. That's awesome. You know, which is like, I'm really proud of it and I really wanna breakdown the stigma that just because you're taking treatment and you're on your treatment, it shouldn't be a, you know, a taboo. And like, some people are like, ohh, my gosh, when are you gonna, uh when is your doctor gonna take you off your meds and like, you, when are you gonna be healed? And I'm like that's not that's not a good way to like view it because just because you're on some medications that help you, um, not have mental health episodes doesn't mean that like you're not the quote UN quote well per se. Yeah, unfortunately the.

1:01:01 Answer is never anybody listening who was asked Nika that question never like for so much that people go through. It's a lifelong process. You're like, you're not really cured. You're maintaining right, You could correct me. If I'm wrong, that's how I feel about myself. I feel like I'm in a great place right now. I'm doing awesome. But I still have to do a a a certain amount of work, at least on my part to kind of work against certain thoughts that I have some days and things like that, right? Like if you're maintaining and you're on your medications and you had no episodes, I think that's a huge win. So, right. Yeah, absolutely.

1:01:42 Yeah, and you are. I mean and what good was there to to be to to throw you in prison the likelihood that? This would happen again is pretty slim and you're obviously remorseful of it. How do you feel about what Daniel said about you and the press? Think it was on the lines of like I've forgiven her, but you know, I'm going to let the legal system do what they need to do here. Right. Honestly, I'm very grateful just because, you know, I've regretted what actually happened. And I'm so glad that I was able to apologize to Daniel and I've accepted 100% responsibility. And it did kind of like, like it was really good notes that I was able to apologize and he was able to forgive me and for me to be on probation.

1:02:36 I think it was one of the main components that kind of inspires me to do better in life and be optimal about certain situations. You know, obviously it's not something I look back upon and I'm like, you know, it was a great situation because I was not. And it was very unfortunate and I'm so sad that, you know, I was not the right. But given the of how it ended and how Daniel reacted to the situation, I'm very fortunate and happy about it. Yeah, well, one of the things you mentioned earlier in the podcast and also when we talked prior was that you wanna create positive change.

1:03:22 Do you wanna expand on that and how you wanna do that? Yeah. So there's different projects that I'm working on. I would say like my book is a main component of it because I'm able to speak more about my story and kind of spot like what I personally gone through to inspire others as well. But, you know, pursuing education and psychology and possibly a career in psychology. To be able to not only reflect on my story, but also educational background in the field of psychology to implement positive change in the world, I think is something that I'm very passionate about. What do your parents think about? You like being public with this story. It's not their favorite, I will say that, But at this point it's like it's already out there.

1:04:15 And even if I am able to change the perspective of one person at a time, I'm more than willing to go that route than like people have a wrong narrative of me and you're trying to. Fix that as best you can, right? Well, I I guess. Is there anything else that you wanna speak on? No, I think I wanna thank you for bringing me on on this podcast and you know, I'm really thankful that I can share my story. And for the listeners, if you want to check out my book or see the event something feel free to do so. And my big message that I want to kind of conclude on is that no matter the situation, there's always ways to be optimal and achieve your dreams.

1:05:07 And you know, healing is always an ongoing process that. Now that is is a statement there healing is an ongoing process. This never ends. Nika is on TikTok. Her username is Nika 5 N You can also go to her website Nika Nikuben. And I'll put all of these links in the liner notes for the podcast if you want to look her up along with the Amazon link to her book. Yeah. Thank you so much for coming and and being open and giving some details that nobody mentioned. But I do appreciate that, especially the stuff for the police side eyeing. The Nevada police right now, right? Yeah.

1:05:49 But yeah. Thank you so much. Yeah. Thank you so much for being. And As for you listeners, you have a great weekend. All right. Bye. Bye.